I Feel So Bad........

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Sassy Posts: 2269
I just found out that my sister is preganant. I know i should be delighted for her and i am but i am so upset that she got there before me. I know i sound so selfish but i have been trying for 7mths but 6 cycles now I suppose i'm really upset with her because she got married during the summer and informed me i was not allowed be cbm if i was pregnant so i held off and then she goes and trys straight after her wedding. This will be the first grandchild and i just feel she wanted to get in there before me. O i know i just sound so jealous and i am but i'm just so upset and cant stop crying or thinking why her and not me. :o( :o( I'm sorry for going on about it but i have no one else i can talk to.
clucky Posts: 26471
oh sassy i know how you feel my mam rang me to tell me my brothers wife is expecting we are all going for dinner on sunday and i will have to act surprised and thrilled but i was in bits last night i am happy for them they wanted another baby but they only started trying in september and i am still here waiting. you dont sound jealous at all and i am sure you will be a great aunty but it is hard :action32
nic06 Posts: 454
Oh Sassy, I am so sorry sweetheart. It is only natural for you to feel upset about your sister being pregnant, especially if you held off ttc to be her bridesmaid. Look your time will come and don't worry all your Wollie family will be here cheering for you. Take care Nic
Sphynx Posts: 6795
Sassy you poor pet! I think I would feel the exact same now if one of DH's siblings or one of my cousin's or even friends announced they were pregnant any time soon! In our case, the hope was that we would produce the first granddaughter on his side (I'm an only child) and it will really hurt if someone does that before us. It doesn't make any logical sense but I think the emotion is completely natural and quite primal actually - aren't we all biologically programmed to want our own genes to thrive more than anyone else's? :o0 All I can say is to just hang in there and think that when you do have your baby, he/she will have a cousin to play with and your sis will be able to give you the baby stuff she doesn't need any more, plus loads of advice. That said, you may well get your BFP before you know it, in which case you can enjoy being preggers together and it might even be a bonding experience for you both. That is, if you can get over her asking you to hold off TTC that is - the NERVE! O:| Main thing is don't beat yourself up for feeling like this - it's only normal. And make sure you enjoy loads of nice xmas drinks while you still can and when she can't ! O-O
Hopefully07 Posts: 2027
I swear I could have written this post and I suppose if everybody who’s TTC is honest they could have too!!! I understand totally how you feel and there’s nothing you can do to change how you feel it’s TOTALLY normal of course you’ll be upset cos it’s all you’re thinking about lately and therefore you won’t it SOOO much, don’t feel bad you will in time be happy for your sister but at the moment it’s just to raw for you. Be nice to yourself and try your hardest to put a happy face on (I KNOW how hard that is but for yourself try) I had to but the BIGEST smile on my face the other day when a girl in work told me she’s pregnant and she due on the 16th of April (same day my baby was due!) it killed me and I just wanted to cry right there but I didn’t and now I am proud that I congratulated her and could walk away, you’ll get there it just takes time. Hopefully 2007 will be our year for BFP’S!
DublinGal Posts: 151
Sassy, its is only natural to feel like that, I know I would! I am due 23rd Dec and this will be my 7 month (if it arrives). I am just so fed up with the whole thing too. I had a mc in sept and thought by now I would be pregnant again as it happened so quickly last time. I know this sounds stupid but I did a test this morning, my christmas party is tonight and I feel bad drinking if there is any chance I might be. Of course it was negative, way to early but I had to check anyway. The last time I was at a wedding the weekend before I got my BFP and was on the piss that weekend so I kinda feel, what if I hadn't of been drinking that weekend! Anyway thats enough from me, sorry for hijacking. Chin up Sassy it will be our turn really really soon!!!!!!!!! :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust:
Sassy Posts: 2269
Thanks so much for your kind words girls. I just love the way i can get on this site and pour my heart out. I'm just so upset everytime i think about her being pregnant i just feel like bursting out crying. I even have my christmas party tonight but i just can't face it. I'd rather spend some quality time with dh. I just don't know how i'm going to face my sister over the next couple of days because i just feel so angry.
nic06 Posts: 454
Sassy, Don't bother about the christmas party if you would rather curl up at home with DH. It is only a bloody drinking session and there will be pleanty of them. Try not to be upset with your sis if you can. I know that it is difficult, but she is your sis after all and just think how excited she must be. Imagine if someone you knew really well on here got a BFP, you would be one of the firt giving your congratulations and being happy for them. Take some quality time for the 2 of you and then come out and face the world and your sis. We are all here for you whenever you need us.
Ducky Posts: 2506
Ah you poor thing. Don't feel the slightest bit guilty for being mad, I would be too. Does she know that ye are ttc? If so, she's probably well aware of how you might be feeling now and should expect that while you are obviously delighted for her, it's very upsetting. I know my cousin could not even bring himself to congratulate us when they found out (they are two years down the line and 3 mis later) so he just stayed away and a few weeks later called me and was so lovely, I bawled. I totally understood how he felt and your sis should too. Hopefully you will get a lovely Christmas surprise and be preggers together and have a batch of little cousins who will be so close...and the others are right, we are all here for you when you need a rant! :thnk
littledolly Posts: 393
Sassy Emotions are just awful things at times, and I feel awful, but from the other side. We got married last month, and I came off the pill just 2 weeks before. Last weekend we get a BFP, which is great. However, a really close friend is ttc, desperate for a baby and telling everyone all about it. I really don't know how I am going to tell her, as we weren't even really trying. I know that after initially being shocked and upset at my news, she will be happy for me, but it's just getting to that point that will be difficult. I am a great believer in the success to TTC being not thinking about it, so perhaps concentrating on the new arrival in the family will take your mind off yourself and your BFP will come!