i find this strange...

my best friend asked me to help her plan her wedding, i was delighted so she chose venue church etc and booked them, really happy with her decisions now shes trying to play down the wedding and hasnt told any of h2b family as his brother is getting married in september and his fiance would hit the roof if somebody was 'stealing her thunder' even though the wedding is 5 months after hers well my friend was all excited about dress shopping and we planned on going next week, until she rang me last night and said she was shopping in town on her own seen a dress in a window, tried it on and paid a deposit i think shes rushed into it and will regret it its the 1st dress she seen shes terrified of future sil finding out about the wedding, that shes rushing into lots of decisions and i think shes not going to get her special day, they way she wants.. if she keeps playing it down like this, i really want her to have the excitment every other b2b gets and just relax and enjoy it

That's awful! So is she only planning on telling people about the wedding 5 months in advance? I think she should just let FSIL have her hissy fit and get over it - you never know, she might not even react as badly as expected. Edited to say "get over it" referred to the FSIL, not your friend.

yeah shes only telling h2b family with just less than 5 months to go... thats my advice to her id just let future sil have a fit she'll just have to grow up and get over it

What does her h2b think of this?

Oh dear god... My neighbours got married last year and the brides brother announced he was engaged three months to the wedding - big deal... it didn't take away from the wedding on the day at all - nobodys gonna forget why they are there - not with the bride walking around in a big white dress!!! I would sit down and talk to your friend, explain that if they tell h2b's family now they won't "steal the thunder" off the other couple - and it would be worse to only give them 5 months notice. Sure even after the wedding they might not announce it straight away, in fear of stealing the "newlywed thunder" What does your friends h2b think of all this?? Maybe he is the one that has asked to keep it a secret??

Maybe she doesn't mind it being a secret??? We didn't tell everyone our plans, it was a huge relief for me (and DH) not to have to talk about our wedding all the time. I only spoke about it on here, with DH, our witnesses and our folks. And I would say that five months is plenty of notice for her to give his family, if her and her fiance are both happy with that arrangement.

I would sit down and talk to your friend, explain that if they tell h2b's family now they won't "steal the thunder" off the other couple - and it would be worse to only give them 5 months notice. Sure even after the wedding they might not announce it straight away, in fear of stealing the "newlywed thunder" What does your friends h2b think of all this?? Maybe he is the one that has asked to keep it a secret?? +1 as far as ive been told he wants to tell his family but is afraid of the reaction they'll get future sil announced 2011 was 'her year ' and nobody was to ruin her day/steal her thunder she didnt want anybody announcing engagments marraige babies etc its patetic if you ask me i wouldn't care how she felt i would just announce my wedding, and other sil is pregnant just found out so would she rather people find out at the wedding or for her to announce it before??? i really dont get it im going to sit my friend down and ask her to explain everything to me it all doesnt add up