I am doing WAY more than I was hired to do, last week a decision was left in my hands that literally could have closed our company. I've taken the, "it's a recession, work harder to keep your job" business a little too far!!
Before I rant about this, I'm not a high maintenance friend by any stretch of the imagination but my best friend had a baby six months ago and she might as well have fallen off the face of the earth. I ring her, all I can hear on the other side is oohing and aahing and I'm left holding the phone, we went for dinner one night and she brought the baby even though her husband was at home and he would have minded her and the dinner revolved around the baby. I've not met her once since the baby on her own. The baby is gorgeous and I love seeing her but is it too much to ask that I see my friend maybe even once for a cuppa. I'm married myself, so it's not that we are at completely different phases in life and I don't understand. I just miss her I suppose. I emailed her about three weeks ago about something pretty personal to me and not a jot from her. Understandable that she's busy but I'm getting fed up of it. I think this all started to really bother me when the child was christened about three months ago, my friend told me about the christening but there was no invite. The christening was on a good bit away at her families home place and so I said it must be just family and I said to myself it was a little thoughtless of her not to just say so but fair enough it's family and I forgot about it. Then I saw photos of the christening and her husbands best mate was there, now he is from that area but all the same, I was very hurt. Anyway, I'm hoping she will resurface again and I'm just getting on with it, I just needed to rant a bit!
It's good to write things down sometimes.
I'm sick of work, everything crap and confrontational gets left to me and lets face it, after a 25% pay cut, it's not worth the flipping effort!!! So sick of it.
poor you - you sound really stressed!!! I think you need to take a few days off and just chill out - see how they cope without you in work.
As for your friend - yea she isnt being a very good one at the moment - would you not have a little chat about the christening ?
Is this your friends first child - if so I would say it's a case of baby is everything now - have seen this in OH's family where nearly everyone has been cut off thanks to the mother of the child - it's a long complicated story. Everyone says they make all the mistakes with the first child so it could be a case of this.
I completely get that you can get very absorbed with your first child and I'm keeping an open mind on it, who knows what I'd be like.
I will probably talk to her about the christening as time goes by, I don't want to interfere in her first few months with the baby and upset her. Believe me, I'm a pretty understanding friend and I can see her point of view. I just needed to rant.
Your friend sounds like mine! Only her child is 1 and a half. I met her a few weeks ago for lunch (hadnt seen her since before xmas) and she had her LO with her. I was hardly able to finish a sentence and kept being interupted by the child wanting to go walking or wanting this or that - which I dont blame the child for btw as she's only 1 and a half but I just thought she could have left her with her mother who only lives across the road from where we met and I know her mother was there as she told me. So I ended up practically eating my lunch by myself.
I also wasnt invited to the christening but was invited to the hotel after (which I had no problem with as I hate going into churches!) so we just popped in for an hour and tbh it was mostly the families some of whom I dont really get on with and one of them is my ex!
But ya I hardly ever see her any more but now she might not even be coming to our wedding which im dissappointed about.
Is it possible that the husbands best friend was the baby's godfather?
Just a few points from the other side!
Sometimes it's hard to ask people to mind your child depending on the circumstance-you may think they wouldn't mind etc but some poeple do mind being asked to babysit (even grandmothers and fathers of the baby).
Even though you are married you are at completely different stages in your life. There is not really much difference to being married and living with someone (you may not have lived with DH) but having a baby turns your life upside down- sorry but that's my honest opinion.
Your friend may not have invited her husbands friend he may have just turned up if he;s from the area. Also if she had invited you were there many other pople she would have had to invite as a consequence? no everyone wants a chrsitening to be like a mini wedding (I certainly didn't and don't). Was he the Godfather by any chance?
On the other hand I do think your friend should be making and effort with your friendship. Maybe try suggesting you go somewhere the baby can't go! Like a spa or the cinema and a drink after if that gets no where then you'll have two options
1. Talk to her about the issues
2. Stop contacting her.
Best of luck.
[quote="Idina":b4lqv6dw]Sometimes it's hard to ask people to mind your child depending on the circumstance-you may think they wouldn't mind etc but some poeple do mind being asked to babysit (even grandmothers and fathers of the baby).[/quote:b4lqv6dw]
I hate it when I hear fathers saying they are babysitting their [b:b4lqv6dw]own[/b:b4lqv6dw] children - you never hear the mothers using that phrase.
I know but they do say it!
your friend could be annoyed at you if shes picked up you are jealous of her spending all her time with her 6 month old babay
Thanks for all the replies.
My friend's husband's best mate wasn't the godfather but him and his wife were at the christening. Even if she had said, look Julia, we want to keep it as family and because it's on where my hubby's mate lives, him and his wife will be going, I would have said no bother at all, I don't tend to take things too personally like that. All I got told is, the christening is on on such a date and where, it definitely wasn't an invite and I didn't feel right asking her was I invited in case I put her on the spot. I'm letting it go for now because like I said, it's a big deal having a child and I don't pretend to know what that's like. I have wondered are we the friends I thought and I do think we are/were, when she had her baby, she rang me from the labour ward, so the christening was a little unexpected. Like I said, it is what it is and I just needed to rant.
I know I'm not after having a baby but what I meant about being at a similar stage in life is that I am settled down and I'm not looking for her to go out clubbing with me, I do understand where she is at in her life.