Thanks very much for all the different replies I got. While I came on to rant, I also posted to get some differing opinions.
The subject of my friend is quite raw to me, so apologies if I came across a little fraught.
Anyway, my eyes have been opened a lot wider to the fact that someone with a new baby can become extremely consumed, something I didn't quite grasp the extent of. So I will continue to be her friend and please god our friendship will survive.
Sounds to me like you're doing what you can - I'm also expecting no. 1 in June and can already see myself pulling away from some friendships, not becaue I don't like these people anymore but now I really don't have time. You sound more normal, your friend will come back to you, babies do grow you know!
On the other hand there is one woman (ie total ratbag wench) that sometimes comes along when I see other friends and ever since I announced the pregnancy starts the evening with - "well I just hope we're not going to talk babies all night" followed by a withering look at my now rather obvious belly. You could try that route but I wouldn't be too hopeful