Saw this and I had to reply. I too am a binge eater. It's HORRIBLE. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not put on weight, but now I can't do that anymore. I can still remember binging then, but to be honest I didn't see it as a binge then- it was just loving food! It doesn't help that I have a huge appetite, ugh. I'm only a size ten because I try to eat well the rest of the time, but binging will always be such an issue. I think that the utter shame is the worst of it. I remember last week, when I was drunk, we went for a takeaway afterwards. I'd had a bad night and all I wanted to do was eat, so I was secretly annoyed when someone suggested that I share chips with her- I wanted my own! That was fine, we ate them, and she commented on how nice they were only for drunk me to suggest getting another bag! My friend looked at me as if I was some complete weirdo/ freak. My other friend then asked if anyone wanted her burger, so drunk me made a show of myself and had a bite. The most embarrassing thing is that I remember my friends being like 'haha good old Bonnie, always there to eat her fill.' They meant it in a lighthearted way but I went home and cried
. It kills me being known as such a glutton. I feel disgusting.
Like many of you, most of my binging is done in secret, trying to hide the wrappers etc. Chocolate is my main food. However, I still get 'caught out'- I remember being at the luggage control of the airport and the security guy commenting on all the wrappers in my bag
. So ashamed.
The thought of food consumes me- I wake up wondering what I'm going to eat, etc. As I said, the worst is when I'm in 'binging' mode with my friends. The other day, we met for icecream, but of course that wasn't enough for me- I needed chocolate. I literally couldn't get it out of my mind. So I left my friends to go to the 'bathroom'- ie to find a vending machine and eat it as soon as possible. Ugh. So embarrassing.
I have countless other embarrassing tales. Nobody knows that I suffer from this- its just so embarrassing.