I binge eat. It mostly happens around my period. I will get fixated on foods and HAVE to have them. Or at least convince myself that i have to have them. Usually junk - which I never actually buy. There is never junk in our house because I know what I am like. I stopped bringing money to work cos I would buy junk at lunch and eat it secretly.
I'm not fat. The times I am not binge eating I eat very healthily and never feel like I want any junk. But then it will just...happen. I don;t know - I get this uncontrollable urge to just eat junk - crisps, sweets, chocolate, cakes -everything. Right now I am trying to think if there is anything in my cupboards that I could eat. Maybe a few spoons of honey if I can't find anything else? Jesus, I'm actually mortified saying that.
Yesterday I went to the shop around the corner for one reason only - to buy junk. I bought a chocolate brownie and a savoury scone from the bakery, then two packets of crisps, jellytots, a picnic bar, a turkish delight and a bag of chips on the way home.
Usually I stuff the food into my mouth, not even enjoying it. Sometimes I savour it but when it's finished I am never satisfied, I just want more. Even though I feel ill and full and bloated.
These binges usually only last 3-4 days but sometimes up to a week or even two weeks on occasion. I told my husband about it last night and he was very good but I don't think he understands just how bad this all is...
I don't know what to do. I was kind of hoping there might be more people like me on this forum? I went to the Bodywhys website and they say binge eating is the most common food disorder, way more prevalent than anorexia or bulimia. So why is no one talking about it?
I'm not sure exactly what I am looking for - some help maybe, advice? Someone who says I am not a freak and they are like this too and that I can and will get better? Maybe we can help each other?