i wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

crimbobaba Posts: 52
Hi Guys, I'm really upset at the min my sis is gettin married soon (and i too are engaged) and she is the bridezilla from hell you can't say a word to her without her getting upset everytime i try to help or ask something it's taken up wrong like i'm the one causing the problem. It's really starting to do my head in as i am being more than good to her and i'm giving her quite a large donation towrds the wedding costs and i'm not even trying to have an imput even if i just ask her the simlpest question she starts a big row with me i really feel i don't wanna be part of her big day as she has taken all the good out of it at this stage i just feel everytime we say something to each other it turns into a row and she says that i said things that i haven't or done things that i haven't (thank god there has always been a witness to all the things i'm supposely done so they can correct her aswell as me) and i know she's bad mouthing me to ppl sayin i did thid or said that when i'm not there to defend myself and say well actually i didn't say that and such and such is there to prove it! even my mum and H2B are sick of her she feels the world revolves around her and she is expecting MY H2B to take 2 weeks of work for HER wedding and went mad when he said he can't we need the money(like everyone does at the min) and i'm on short time in work so for both of us to be off work for 2 weeks and with giving her so much money towards the wedding i honestly feel lik ecrying i'm such a lump in my throat and i'm so stressed out. I honestly (hand on my heart) would never treat anybody esp somebody who's helping me so much the way she is :o(
soulful Posts: 1697
Hi Sorry you are feeling this way it sounds like your sister is super stressed by the fact that she is flying off the handle at you for no apparent reason. I get the feeling that there may be a bit of competition here between the both of you but it is only on her side. If I were you I would just abandon the wedding talk with her for your own sake until she is ready to treat you properly. It is obvious that she has some major issues going on in her head right now and she is taking them out on her nearest and dearest and is being quite selfish in the process. I would give her a wide berth until she comes out of whatever it is she is trapped in. O:o)
crimbobaba Posts: 52
thanks a mil astro-girl for your advice i think you have a good point in giving her space at the min. To be honest she is very competive and is quite a jealous person by nature i just don't think that she gets that when i'm asking her a question i'm only doin so, so that if anyone else goes to ask her i can answer them to save her repeating herself over and over again as i can imagine with all the stress this could be quite annoying maybe if i don't try to help as much she will see that i was a good help. i'm quite a soft person and i just don't want her being stressed out or upset or something not goin right on her big day i want her to have the most amazing day of her life............. but she making it impossible for me. :o( :o( hopefully i'll have smiley faces soon on this!!!!
BlossomHill Posts: 2169
Curious, as to why you give her a large donation to the wedding when you have your own coming up ?
crimbobaba Posts: 52
Hiya, There's only us i have no other siblings and i thought it would help her out with the cost maybe she could ut it towards band, flowers or honeymoon.
BlossomHill Posts: 2169
Ok I get it. Only the 2 of you so classic love hate relationship. Who is the oldest ?
crimbobaba Posts: 52
she is the eldest
BlossomHill Posts: 2169
When are you getting married ? Have you kids or areTTC ? Could she feel a little threatened by your relationship & what you have? She did want you H2B to take 2 weeks off for her wedding!
JDD Posts: 1316
Good lord, I've never heard of siblings giving money to each other to help out with wedding costs. I have two brothers and while I'd imagine they'll get me a present I wouldn't at all expect them to give me a donation. Your sister should be very grateful. I agree with the other posters. Mention nothing about your wedding or hers for the next couple of months. You might think you are helping her by asking questions but in her mind every question is loaded with some sort of ulterior motive. You can get like that if you think that everyone's going to be judging you, or worse, comparing your wedding to that of your sister's. There's definitely an element of competition. Just stop talking to her about it unless she brings it up herself, and if she does, give some very non-committal answers. Even if she asks your opinion, tell her the pros and cons of each option, and then tell her that you wouldn't know what to choose, and sure it's her wedding anyway, she'll know best. That's all she wants to hear anyway. And if she gets all "for god's sake, could you not just tell me either way", you can just say firmly "look, what I like is different to what you like, so there's no real point. I'll give you a hand with it once you decide which way you want to have it". Why did she want your H2B to take two weeks off for the wedding??
crimbobaba Posts: 52
thanks for all the advice girls. she could very well be threatened by relationship i with my H2B nearly 8 years we have a very good relationship (not perfect) but everyone (like family nad friends) enjoy coming to our house for dinners get togthers etc as we have a really good laugh we can laugh at each other and have a bit of fun he's very good to me he's 6 years older and really helps out alot like around the house he's a very good cook aswell. she rushed into this relationship and got engaged and moved in within 18 months of knowing the guy. Nice guy but she is quite argumentive and would have to nag him a lot to do things. Maybe looking at these points that i've just wrote she is a lil jealous. Oh she wanted H2B to take the time off so he can be on call incase i get tied up doing something that he can do it like picking up suits or briging the BM to get nails done or collect FG for reherals he did tell her he would take 2 days b4 and 2 days after the wedding off. i thought that was fair enough but she hit the roof!