Im looking for some advice. This is gonna be a long one so if you have a min to spare I would really appreciate some advcie....
We are getting married on the 11th October. We have 2 young boys (5 and 2 and half) and my plan was (budget permitting) to go to Euro Disney for Halloween for 4 days as our honeymoon.
Any way H2B comes home from work last night. He had called into his Mams on the way home. He arrives with Euro Disney brouchure and says great news my Mam and Dad want to pay for Euro Disney as our present. Then says they picked this hotel and flying out 12th October for 7 nights. Now I have 2 problems with this, the hotel they picked doesnt have a swimming pool (which with two kids we would need) and we dont want to go on the 12 th October we wanted to go on the mid term break when my eldest boy will be off school and for the halloween party.
So I rang my FFIL and said thank you very much for the offer. I then said we were thinkin of going at Halloween time cause the little fella will be off school. This was kind of brushed off and he started talking about some thing else. Then he rang this morning and said so will we go ahead and book the holiday for the 19th? I said I would get back to him.
I have only recently began speaking to FMIL after a falling out 5 years ago. When my son was born she would do these sort of things all the time, its ended in a row and a falling out ... there is no point in me going into all that now.
So any way, I dont know what Im supposed to do. They think they are doing us a favour by booking this and while I am really grateful for their help I do feel like Im being bullied into a holiday that doesnt suit me! H2B is no help at all he is such a fence sitter when it comes to his mam he wont say a bad word to her. When I mentioned this to him, he just says oh what ever suits you etc etc....
Girls Im sorry for the long winded post I just dont know what to do. I think if I go mention this to them I am going to look so ungreatful but at the same time I dont want a holiday I wont enjoy!!
Any advice is greatly appreciated
I don't think there is any point in booking a holiday that doesn't suit you. Go up there at the weekend (in person, phone is no good as you can be fobbed off) with your H2B and say in the nicest possible way that you had other dates in mind because of the kids school and a different hotel which had other amenities (would your kids really be going into the pool in October, is it indoor?). Tell them this may mean a price increase but you are willing to cover that yourselves and you are very grateful for the X amount that they are offering to pay.
Edited to add I think it's strange they are offering to book this holiday for you, I wouldn't trust anybody else except myself to book it but maybe that's just me
Is there any way you could ask them for a voucher from the travel agents and that way you can pay the extra cost yourselves?
Yes that would be the ideal solution....... But its not the way these people work! I dont think she does these things on purpose (I hope not!) she really does think she is doing us a favour. I know if I say any thing she will take it to heart.
What I should have done ( too late now I just thought of it!) was tell them it was all ready booked! Thanks for the replies girls
Thats a hard one. Could you blame it on the children? Tell the inlaws that you've already promised the older child that he'll be going to Euro Disney and will see this HUGE Hallowe'en festival and say he's so excited about it, it would break your heart to let him down? Also its a bit strange that they're not taking into account the fact that their grandson will have to be taken out of school for a week. I know what you mean about you FMIL wanting to help but just ending up kind of driving you mad. You end up feeling unappreciative and then you get mad because you're being guilted into doing something you don't want to do. I do agree its probably better to call to the house than use the phone. Or could you say your parents have just rung you to say they've booked the holiday? Would that be possible?
I agree with CharlotteYork, they can hardly refuse to take their grandchild's wishes into accoount. Also can you say you ahve been told by the school that they are very strict about taking kids out for holidays and you have to wait for half term? I know my sister's kid's school have a canary if you try to take them out during school time
I would definitely say that with this new law about children missing twenty days at school per year you could not possibly take your child out.
I think that after all it is your honeymoon and you should def go when suits you.
Why not tell a little white lie and say that a friend of yours works in a travel agency and can get you a great deal but she would have to book it? Tell them that you appreciate the offer of them booking it but that your friend could get you a fantastic upgrade for the same price and this is really the way you want to go! I wouldn't even make a big deal out of the dates to them. Just say that you'll be getting better hotel, more entries to the park or something like that! Make it seem like it'd be fantastic for the kids!!!!!!
Thanks for all your replies. I tell you I had my self in such a state earlier thinking about this. Its the same rubbish I had to put up with 5 years ago which resulted in our falling out! Charlotte York you hit the nail on the head there with what you said. The gas thing is I DO have a friend who works for a major tour operator and she could get me a great deal!
Any way girlies, I think Im just gonna have to be honest with her. I will explain that I dont wanna take the little fella out of school for a week and that we want to go at mid term. If its costs extra then we will make up the difference! I just need to stand my ground here or I will end up back where I was 5 years ago! (alas with out being 5 years younger ha ha)
Thanks again, I will let you know how it goes!
hopefully they'll back down!
best of luck with it