Invite ex's friends?

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Woolie28 Posts: 110
Hi Wolies, I don't really know what to do. Not a major dilemma thank god, just a niggle! I have friends through my ex who i have remained in contact with. Not as much as i would like but that was my choice so there was some distance. But now everything is totally is in the past with my ex i have become more friendly again with the girls (my H2B doesn't really know them) Basically, they are 4 couples. The 4 guys are my ex's best mates and their wifes are my friends. Not my immediate circle, but i would meet them individually for coffee and that. I am not having the guys at the wedding as i know my H2B would not be comfortable with that. So i'm not even going there. And to be honest i would rather them not there. But someone suggested inviting the 4 girls together, no hubby's. I like this idea as i would like them to be there to celebrate our big day. I spent 13 years with these girls. I am worried it will cause some awkwardness. They are such nice girls i know they would understand. I'm such a little worried really. Am i being silly? Anyone experiencing this?
MrsTiredbride Posts: 3397
If they are friends of yours invite them.
monkeybear Posts: 1926
I would invite them, but you should ask yourself do you think they would be offended if you didnt invite them? would H2b mind if the lads came to the evening only? and if you didnt invite the 'husbands' would the 'wives' be offended or would they love a girlie day out instead Im inviting some friends, but cant afford to have everybody bring their partners so they can come to the evening instead, theyre fine with this they know how expensive its gonna be hope it works out for you
clarebear Posts: 132
I've never held on to any friends i've met through an ex. Its always been too awkward afterwards so count yourself lucky for that. I would invite them - i really don't see any problem.
Mrs.G Posts: 1828
Does your h2B know them & know their hubbies? I am sure he wouldn't mind...as long as you aren't bringing ex himself. Not totally down with the suggestion of just bringing the girls...might cause more trouble then it was worth.
enchanted-bride Posts: 146
Hi wollie 28. If you meet them for coffee then I would invite them. But if you have to get around the guys issue I'd bring it up gradually, mention little hints of how you would love to have had them at the wedding... say it as if you have allready decided that they (the girls) can't be there. peek their interest, Mention that while you would love them all there you wouldn't think it fair on your h2b. Make sure to say that you feel he wouldn't mind but You feel that you couldn't take the chance that he might feel even a little uncomfortable with something like that on His wedding day. Later you might be able to slip in a comment that; 'wouldn't it be great to have the girlies there'. See if you can get them to suggest comming without the guys. Or at least let them think that they came up with the idea. Then no hard feelings. Even ask them to explain to the guys..you know ..sur you wouldn't like it at your wedding dear bf or h..... Just a thought. Ps my ex will be there and 2 of his ex's we're all good friends at this stage.
Woolie28 Posts: 110
Thanks wolies. I'll think a little more about it. I'm definitely not inviting the lads. I think that decision is made. I would feel a little weird as well i think. They represent my past more than the girls do really. There are 5 lads in the group. The 4 i am talking about and then my ex (no chance!), even though we didn't break up on bad terms. It's just too weird. My H2B knows of them all but does not actually know them as i always meet up with the girls individually so it's always just me. I don't keep in touch with the lads and that was for my ex's sake. I've bumped into them the odd time, but thats it. But yeah, the girls are a different story. They were heart broken when me and my ex split. I feel in my heart i want the girls there for my big day. I celebrated with them at their weddings as well. I've always believed in following my heart, it's worked for me so far, as my life has changed dramatically over the last 3 years or so. For the better! Hate having something so minor on my mind!
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