invite help needed

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Excited2010 Posts: 777
hi girls 2 things i need help with. 1) ok story is my parents are paying for the meal, h2b dad is giving us a substantial amount of money. Dont want anything too formal on invites but my mother is going mad at the thoughts of not being mentioned on them but we want to include h2b dad. 2) mother also wants all the RSVPs sent to her house, is this the done thing. I have never heard this before and have a feeling it is my mother just wanting to know who is coming to our wedding first. She has wanted no imput into the wedding at all and couldnt care less what happens but has had alot to say regarding these. Please help, i dont want the invites to sound too formal, snobby or posh.
babybambino Posts: 940
Why not say ms a X and mr b Y along with their parents request the pleasure....... We had my parents names on the invites but the RSVP address was our own because it was more convenient but it wasn't traditional and some of the RSVPs were addressed to my parents at our address. Do what suits you and your fiance, your mum will get over it, she'll start worrying about something else in a few weeks!
vinoqueeno Posts: 3511
Hi, I suppose the easiest way to sort out the wording on the invites would be to have "Together with their parents, Excited 2010 & H2b wish to invite ___" I also think you need to have a chat with your mother about it. Just do it informally over a coffee & say that you're so grateful for their help & it's great that [i:19h1d9fc]both[/i:19h1d9fc] sets of parents have been so generous so you'd like to mention them on the invites so you're going to word them as above. Would this work with her? Regarding the RSVP's you'll just have to tell her straight that you want them to go to your house & that you wouldn't dream of putting her through the hassle of having to sort them out. You're just going to have to toughen it out & keep reiterating the fact that you're extremely grateful for their generosity but you'd like to maintain control. Hope you get it sorted...the invites are always a dodgy subject I think!!
grar Posts: 87
What about 1. 'Together with their parents, X & Y would like to invite....' 2. I'm not going to bother with RSVPs at all as I think they're totally unnecessary in an age of mobile phones and e-mail! You could pull the 'environment' and the 'cost of stamps' cards and get people to reply to you/H2B by texts and e-mail and get around your mother that way... :o0
Excited2010 Posts: 777
I wish it was that easy She wants her name on it and thats it. I originally wanted x & y along with or together with their parents but thats a big no no to her. She wants the names on it. I just dont think it suits our wedding and sounds too formal for me when you have to include h2b dad on the rsvp thing girls she has said that when she receives them she will just leave them there for me to collect like she just wants her address on the invite. i just dont understand it to be honest. So she said she wont be going through any hassle at all.
Excited2010 Posts: 777
oh girls and thanks for helping O-O
Cinnabon Posts: 2626
If you are all contributing to the wedding then it is not appropriate for your parents only to be doing the inviting (invitation ettiquette). We are wording ours something along the following lines: x & y along with their mothers and late fathers would like to invite x & y.....blah, blah, blah As for the RSVP - tell her it is easier for you to have them go to you so that you can tick the boxes so to speak and not run the risk of her losing any of them etc etc......
SuziQ Posts: 428
My parents are paying for the meal which is 50% of the total cost but I bought my invites before they told me they were gona help us out and the invites aren't worded to name them. I feel bad for not naming them as I think it would be nice but I dont have the price of new invites in my budget so I guess they will just have to go out as they are. If its easier for the RSVP's to go to your house then just be up front and say its easier, it is my wedding at the end of the day. Surely she can find out who's going from u....
Sinalei Posts: 406
Unless your mum is paying for the wedding then it really should be "together with their parents" or somethign like this; there are some examples of where you can have both sets of parents on the invite, maybe offer this as an optino and then make the invitation look informal.... after all you are inviting these people, not your mum! In terms of replies, mine have to go to my parents because we live in Australia (which is mostly a good thing :o0 ) but this part is driving me a bit nuts already... Mum has created her own list so I have to keep tellign her I have the master copy and it doesn't matter what is on hers O:| Get them sent to your house if at all possible.. otherwise it jsut gets complicated!! Do you think perhaps your mum isn't feeling v involved and this is why she wants everythign sent to her?? Just a suggestion! Hope you work it out, invites have been the most stressful part of everythign so far for me O:|
14082010 Posts: 2103
Oh excited2010 i really feel for you :o( Thankfully my mam is really easy going and really helpful with our wedding, and usless i ask her opinion on something she will not butt in at all >:o) I really think you should have mr & mrs excited 2010 together with their parents, it is really old fashioned to have parents of the bride putting their names on! On the rsvp front, tell your mam out straight they are been posted to your house O:| I dont see why your mam wants them to go to her house at all! Recieving the rsvp's adds to all the excitement i think :-8 I really feel for you as it seems your mam is really adding to the stress unnessesarily(sp :-8 ) Hope you get sorted and put your foot down with your mam!!!! Its your day O:o)