Invites & ignorance!

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CestMoi Posts: 2162
Just wanted to let off steam about an invite my mum got. She didn't get an 'and guest' on her invite, now normally it wouldn't be the end of the world, but it means driving 130 miles alone to this thing, and it's her friends son getting married, so she won't really have anyone there that she knows to speak to, as her friend will be preoccupied (naturally) being the MOG. I would drive her, but what am I going to do way down the country for the whole day (as she is not allowed bring a guest), and it's too far away for her to drive back (given the recent weather), so she'll have to stay the night. I just thought it was very inconsiderate of the couple to put her down on her own, especially with the distance to travel and everything. And to top it all off it's BLACK TIE! Talk about all fur coat and no knickers!!! (I mean it mustn't be a money issue if they are have a country house black tie affair, but cannot afford to invite someone with the courtesy of a guest as company) >:o( O:| Oh that feels better now, sorry about the rant!
too soft Posts: 518
That happened to me i was invited to a wedding in portugal by a very close friend i was going out with my h2b 9 months and on the invite they only invited me,i had to say i couldnt attend couldnt go to a wedding abroad on my own and didnt know anyone going,i think sometimes people send them invites out to get a no reply but to be nice and ask in the first place its ridculas if they want everyone to have a good time they wouldnt on there own so whats the point. maybe ur mother could ask her friend is there any chance bringing someone?
CestMoi Posts: 2162
I don't think she'd like to rock the boat, they are really nice people and I'm sure it's not their way of doing things. It seems the In-Laws to be are paying for it, so maybe it's their decision. My mum won't mind going alone, its just the travel alone and having to stay down there because of the weather recently she wouldn't like to travel back on the same night. Given the choice if it was local she would have went alone, but with the distance she would have asked me. She feels she should go because they are good friends. There were 4 or maybe more people at my wedding that came alone, I knew they would come alone, but I gave them the choice anyway. You never know how people might feel in that situation, some people wouldn't be too bothered and others would like to bring friend.
Time For A Change Posts: 6885
I remember at our wedding I invited a particular friend who is single. Something came up about invites, I think I was saying that ours were going out soon. I think she said she had been to a wedding before where the couple thought they "had to" say Noodleheads friend +1. She was adamant that we didn't do that. She said she was perfectly happy going on her own and mingling with people, even though she was going to be driving a good distance on her own - but she was staying overnight. I think it depends on the person. Personally I wouldn't like to go to a wedding on my own - especially a black tie one!! I think it's "easier" to invite a younger person as they may feel more comfortable chatting to someone they don't know, rather than someone older.
happieout Posts: 3111
that would annoy me too. I'd be conscious of anyone being on their own on the day, especially people travelling. I was in that position once, asked on my own and not knowin anyone and ended up not going..
mrspants Posts: 4652
I hate this type of thing!! I can understand no "plus ones" if its a single friend and there will be loads of people he/she knows in the same situation. Its still not something i would do but i can see what some would. BUT there is no excuse for not giving your mum a plus one. Its such incredible bad manners. I am presumng your dad is deceased or your parents divorced. So if they were still together then he'd have to be invited!! My mam is a wido and has been invited to nearly all weddings on her own since my dad died. She finds the day so lonely without having someone there as "her" person (even if its just a friend or me) and has stopped going to them now.
lovebug997 Posts: 4034
Hotpants my mam is the same! For the most part since my dad died any weddings (not that there have been that many) she's been asked to have been by herself! I hate that it's like that for her because if dad was still around then there would be no question but he'd be on the invite too so why not ask her plus friend? All the single guests at our wedding were asked +1! Even the ones we knew would not bring anyone (they nearly all came together anyway and knew each other) were still given the option! It's common decency!
Time For A Change Posts: 6885
Even my aunt who's a nun gets +1 invites!!! I know weddings are expensive (still paying back the loan from ours!), but people should look more carefully at the guest list and have the decency to do a +1 invite for people who they know are going to be on thier own - especially when they person is older.
CestMoi Posts: 2162
Thanks girls, at least I'm not alone in thinking it was bad. She has found out someone that she knows of and they are sharing accommodation. Think she is still driving down alone, but other than that she'll be fine. She doesn't mind going alone, but she said herself she would have liked to be given the choice and it was the distance thing that was getting to her, if she had a plus one I could have went and drove her and kept her company, more for the journey than for the day. She is an out going person so the day/reception won't bother her too much thankfully!
Shoelover Posts: 473
maybe they are very limited on the numbers in their venue? a lot of those country houses are quite small cause we looked briefly at a couple but they were too small for our guest list. it may not be to do with money of inviting plus ones, just numbers. I know it's difficult to go that distance on your own and some people wouldn't be as comfortable mingling as others, but at the same time, this couple are getting married, and have chosen to invite the people they wish to share their day. I personally am having worries recently with our guest list cause it is just getting out of hand. There is a lot of 'plus ones' we will be inviting to the wedding, and it is bumping the numbers up big time. our venue has the space to take them, but if it didn't, or if our budget gets cut, i would be cutting the list, and obviously people you don't know are gonna go first....that means plus ones in our case! I don't think it's bad manners on the part of the bride & groom, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt that they wanted to have your mother present to share their day, but for whatever reason, budget or numbers, couldn't include a plus one. Who know's, she might make new friends and have a ball dancing the night away with them *)