We've completely changed our plans from wedding here to have it abroad. Everyone was fine with it when we told them but I've had comments from friends about the accommodation we recommended which is fine, it's cheap and central and clean. And then been told it's being discussed behind our back. Going dress shopping which when my friends were talking about it were discussing things to see where we're going and how much shopping they're planning on doing. I'm getting sick of this being about everyone else.
So we are getting married at Easter next year. My first rant is that when we got engaged a year ago, neither his parents nor sister or sister bought us a card to mark it- I'm not even talking a gift (and they are all more than very well off)- but a card! I had to pretend to other people that they bought us stuff when I was asked because I was so embarrassed. Also, his mother just told us the other day that we should have gone away ourselves and got married abroad! Imagine that. You are trying to get all excited about your big day and one of the (supposed) most important people that will be there basically tells you that you shouldn't have bothered with the months of planning and just gone away. These may not seem like the biggest deals in the world but I just feel like they aren't very happy or excited about our wedding and whilst i can get over it, I feel for my OH.
Sallyt I really feel for you. That's totally out of order. In a similar situation ourselves. My family adore my HTB and cannot wait for the big day but his family couldn't care less. My OH does an awful lot for them all but this goes totally unnoticed. All his sister talks about is what dress she is going to get and that she can't wait to go shopping for herself.
If you don't want to come abroad, don't. If you don't want to stay with everyone else in a compex, fine. If you think it's too close to another wedding then pick the one you want to go to. It's not ok for people to be bitching behind our backs about it. This is the wedding we both want. We are not demanding anyones presence. I thought we would get at least a week of being happy once we changed our plans - but no. I'm so sick of considering everyone else when all it takes is a few people to make me feel like crap. I should be ecstatic about marrying the man I love and I've had a knot in my stomach since we got engaged.
Does anyone know how to get confidence in standing up to people?
I hear ya Galwaybride. I was told to be considerate of others as soon as we started our planning and so far one of my sisters is causing the most grief - from accusing me of not looking after her in particular (everyone is responsible for their own bookings and logistics) to the wording of the invites, who to invite and to me changing my original decisions on hairstyles, flower girls and the veil. So now, I;m the travel agent for the entire group as well as tour group leader/co-ordinator. As well as trying to sort out the dates and times for fitting the dresses, shopping for last bits and pieces,doing the mass booklets, arranging the rehersal and the dinner......the list goes on! I'm also moving house and I just made the decision at the weekend to put all my stuff into storage as its the easiest thing - instead of going around the houses leaving boxes here, there and everywhere. Gotta go to a meeting now and I didnte get my work done for that as too busy wedding fire fighting!!!