Is having a third baby a tough decision?

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Milly83 Posts: 3620
I am a working mum, 5 days a week and DH works nights so pretty much on my own at home during the week. I don't feel like my family is complete and I would like another. Not quite yet but possibly start TTCing this time next year. My question is, was this a very tough decision for any of you, especially working mums? I think about the work involved sometimes, going back to a newborn but I was hoping that DD would almost be 3 by the time I have a third. The gap between the 2 I have now is just over a year and half which was quite tough. We would also have to get a 7 seater I imagine as my little car won't fit 3 car seats. Financially, childcare would increase as I have to work. Then there are other days when I could not imagine having a newborn baby again and dread the thought of the sleepless nights and dealing with 2 other children who would be 3 and 5 hopefully if I do have a third. DH knows nothing about this. It's all very up in the air. If we don't have a third, I think that in 10 years time I will regret it deeply.
pag Posts: 633
From reading about this exact topic on other sites, the general advice is that you will never regret having a baby but you could very easily regret not having one. I'm only having second but know that a third is a possible. Neither Dh nor I feel we will be complete with two.
kala Posts: 1937
i'm due baby no 3 for nov 3rd. ds1 is 3 since july 29th, ds2 will be 2 on dec 27th. we didn't think twice about having a 3rd. i'm one of 5 kids, dh is one of 3 but his sister died bout 9 years ago and always said he would have loved more sibblings. i had a misc in jan of this year which made me want a 3rd more than ever. as pag said you'll never regret the baby you had always the one you didn't have. i too work fulltime and so does dh and please god everything going ok with this babba we haven't ruled out a 4th. its hard work but so so worth it.
theoracle Posts: 7664
It wasn't for us, though DH does work away on the other side of the country and I am a work-at-home-mum. It was what we both wanted and we are making it work.
brightlight Posts: 394
Very personal decision isn't it. We definitely want at least one more, have 2 sons already- 23months and 9 months. We have said we will wait until end next year to try TTCing, then DS1 would be 4 and DS2 would be nearly 3 when no 3 would come. I have days when I would love another one [b:2guyuenc]right now[/b:2guyuenc] and days when I think I am happy with my 2 boys and content with what I have. However, I think, I know, I would be devastated never to be pregnant again or BF a baby again (both experiences I loved) and of course there is a little hankering for a little girl, although if I had all boys I would adore them all!! Oh God, even writing this is making me broody!!!
MummyLuv Posts: 2478
We had talked about it and then God took over with our christmas day surprise. In many ways I am terrified of the thought of having 3 so close together but while I certainly shocked after I got over that we were thrilled. We are finished now as 3 is enough for us and I have to work also so finding childcare is going to be fun in a year's time but I am not worrying about that for the moment, we'll get a 7 seater in Jan as can make do in the beginning with what we have. The actual ttc decision was out of our hands but I think the actual decision when to complete your family (be that 1 child or 4 or 7 etc) is a very personal decision. You wouldn't believe the number of negative comments I get when people see me at the moment heavily pg with two very young kids but I just laugh it off its me who will be raising them, I'm under no illusion how tough it will be, but it is our choice
Milly83 Posts: 3620
Oh thanks girls. Even reading your stories makes me sure that I want a third baby! I do have days where I say "no way would I have another" but then I think about how different and more manageable my daughter will be soon enough that another wouldn't be so difficult. Will wait for another year or so at least before trying anything. But I think my mind is made up. Now I just have to convince DH! :action31
Thumbelina Posts: 2340
Like MrsBambi, there wasn't much of a decision for us too - a total shock was an understatement! We'd always said we'd have 3 but I was leaning more towards getting pg by the end of 2011, not actually having no 3 by then! Maybe it was the best way as I probably would've antagonised about the timing & the financial side of things a bit too much. Thankfully I won't need a 7 seater, I can fit 3 carseats across the back of my car and my company pay maternity leave so we'll be alright on that front - well things will be no tighter than they are now!!! This is it for us though.....3 is definitely the magic number :lvs
Marpat Posts: 1784
[quote="Thumbelina":16sr605y]...3 is definitely the magic number :lvs[/quote:16sr605y] I was always singing that song after i had number 2 but we never planned on a number 3. Due to a very delayed cycle last January, things were miscalculated and here I am! Every single thing you mentioned I can appreciate. I cried about so much. Sleepness nights. my 18 month old is a little divil and keeps us busy as does our opinionated 5 year old. I worried about finding money to change our car but thankfully I got a new booster that will fit in the middle. I worried that our house really isn't big enough for 3 kids but 2 will be sharing in the biggest room and that's just life. I'm still panicking about money. We work for ourselves and things are very tough. childcare is the biggest worry. At the moment it still is financially viable for us to pay for 2 in creche/afterschool but we will have to think long and hard about whether I am even covering the cost of 3 next feb/march. Good luck with your decision. It certainly won't be easy with three. But at the end of the day, it will all fit together (says me with a bit panicky head)
Rocky Posts: 465
Hi, i had to reply to this as this has been us for past few months too. My DH works long hours and i work fulltime 5 days a week so its a busy house. Our 1st DD will be 4 soon and 2nd DD 3 and ive been dying to have a third baby for ever as i came from a family of 2 and always wanted another brother or sister so swore id always have 3 if possible but my DH is the practical part of the family and he was worried about the financal side so it's taken me since 2008 to convince him :o0 Its very early days for us but please god things go well and we will have a new baby in April . And Its taken a few weeks but DH is getting over the shock now i think and has started to talk about " the baby". And the funny thing is it's now me that's worrying will we be able to afford it, and thinking of the new car aswell etc. We're always worrying about some thing :o0 best wishes to all, im much by this time next year it will all work out and we'll feel like there was always 3 children in the house.