Is me or him?!

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crazychick Posts: 763
I want to lose 2 stone before our wedding in December. I'm flabby and unhappy with my size. It's got to the stage where I felt awkward seeing old schoolfriends over christmas because i was worried about them passing judgement on how i've gone from a size 10 to a 16. So i've joined a gym, but am finding it so hard to get motivated and struggle to go more than twice a week and have lost no weight whatsoever in the last 3 months!!! My h2b is superfit and very athletic. He knows i am unhappy with my size and is trying to motivate me, but does so in a way that hurts my feelings. He acts so disapointed when i don't go to the gym, and thinks aquaaerobics is only a waste of time anyway. He is always advising me of when i could go the gym , ie 'if you are meeting your friend at 6, you could fit in a gym session beforehand,' and when i said i'd babysit for his sister, he cut in and reminded me it didn't suit as i was supposed to attend a gym class - which was annoying and embarassing. And on new years day, he asked when i was going to START going to the gym. We've had loads of rows about this in the last few weeks, and i keep telling him to lay off and stop bringing up the subject. He keeps asking why i am so touchy about it and can't understand why i hate him talking about it. sorry this is such a rant! just need to get it off my chest - but does anyone elses h2b go on like this? I know he means it in the best possible way, but it is driving me mad! is it me or him????
Valkstar Posts: 2747
It sounds like he sees that you're unhappy and want to lose the weight, and he's just trying to help you. Like a typical man, he's going about it a bit differently to the way a woman would. Men are a bit more direct with stuff like that. Would you ever go together to the gym? or have you a friend you could go with?
gone elsewhere Posts: 1780
The answer is in your own post. [quote="crazychick":as4kw3lq] I'm flabby and unhappy with my size. So i've joined a gym, but am finding it so hard to get motivated and struggle to go more than twice a week [/quote:as4kw3lq] You're unhappy with your size and are finding it hard to get motivated. So your H2B is trying to motivate you! He's pointing out where you can fit in exercise but you don't really want to hear him. I honestly don't think he's trying to hurt your feelings, he sees that you won't go to the gym if left to your own devices. Why don't you give him a fright and start going to the gym every second day? He'd be shocked, and really pleasantly surprised!
Anonymous Posts: 24542
I think that you have to find something that you enjoy first and foremost. I enjoy keeping fit and do go to the gym but only because it's winter now and I don't fancy running in gail force winds every night. However I find the gym desperately boring. So much so, I went out in wet, damp conditions last night and ran eleven miles rather than spend two hours on the treadmill like a hamster. I can understand your h2b's frustration. He's doing this because he loves you and wants the best for you. He must be incredibly frustrated. However it is your life and if you don't want to go to the gym then don't go but realise that by doing this you're hurting your h2b's feelings and damaging your relationship. I can also understand why he got annoyed when you said you couldn't go to the gym class as you'd to babysit-1. it's an avoidance tactic 2. if you're really serious about it, you've got to be focused and put yourself first, regardless of however much it puts people out, your focus has to be you and your health, learn to say no to people if you've a gym session/class planned 3. you're putting something as trivial as babysitting (I assume it wasn't a life and death situation and could be re-arranged if you'd said no in the first place) ahead of your health. The biggest thing I would say though is to find something that you love, start out small and it won't be a burden/pain in the butt.
crazychick Posts: 763
Thanks girls! Felt much less annoyed in the light of day! rejoined ww today for the 5th and hopefully the last time!