Menu

Is this true? (Communion related)

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

betty draper Posts: 728
Quick question ladies, I was picking up a package from my neighbour the other day and she asked would DH and I be her son's god parents. He's making his communion and the priest/school has told her that he can't make his communion without god-parents? Is this true? Or could it be that he wasn't baptised and they are doing that too? Now I've only met this woman 3 times all while picking up packages (wish the courier would just let me pick them up from the depot!) I'm not religious in anyway and won't stand up there with someone else's child when i won't be baptising my own - doesn't feel right. DH is all for it though. What would wol do?
Rocksie80 Posts: 4045
From memory, DH's niece and nephew didn't have to have a godparent there for their First Communions. The godparents were there anyway, but the priest made no mention of them during the ceremony itself. Firstly, I think it's a bit odd that she's asking you and your DH to be godparents if she barely knows you. Secondly, I'd take it to mean that the child hasn't been baptised before now (and that she needs to get this done before the First Communion), and having been at a Christening over the weekend (and having a similar opinion as yourself re our own children), I really don't think I could stand in church and swear that I'd help bring a child up as Catholic. If you don't really know her, what if you lose touch or something? Would you or your DH feel obliged to keep in contact with the child? I have nothing against people having a child baptised, but I'd be lying if I was to stand there and be their godparent when I don't go near the chapel normally.
betty draper Posts: 728
She's an African lady renting the house next door to us, she's really nice, but said she is new to the area and doesn't know anyone. I presume she has no family near-by - well if she does she didn't mention them. DH is well up for it, we'd be giving her a dig out as far as he's concerned. Told him if he wants to do it he's on his own. He feels no obligation to either the mother or child. When i told her that we (I) wasn't religious she said it didn't matter. I had to explain the role of god parents and that being religious was a part of it. Think I'll pop in this evening and just tell her I'm not interested.
Smileykaz Posts: 7296
That's very odd now. As far as I know the Godparents don't need to be there for Communion? I don't think so anyway. I know you need an adult sponsor for Confirmation? And it's usually a Godparent who's asked to do that. It can be anybody now, but usually people pick their Godmother you know. But for Communion, I don't think you need Godparents at all! It could be as you said the child needs to be Baptised first. If I were you Betty, I'd say no. You're not religious, you don't believe in the Catholic church, it'd be wrong to stand up there and swear to a God you don't believe in. You said that yourself sure. Actually, even if it was me, and I AM a Catholic, I'd feel a bit weird about doing it for a stranger's child. There's a lot of responsibility comes with being a Godparent. You're kinda responsible, with the parents, for the spiritual well being of the child like! I don't know if I could do that for a stranger. What if they move away or whatever? I don't know. It'd be nice to help a neighbour out of course, but in your case I think saying no is the only option.
MrsBraxton Posts: 4662
Agree with SK. TBH sounds kind of odd that she wants her child to make their Communion if they haven't been baptised and she's not to bothered that you told her you weren't religious. As far as I know you don't need a godparent for Communion but you need to have been baptised. I know the kids in school in 2nd class have to bring in baptism cert before their communion. I'd find it a bit odd that she wants strangers to be her childs godparents and def if religion isn't for you and you don't believe in it you can't very well stand in a church promising to be involved in the childs spiritual upbringing and taking some responsibility for that. You're right to say no to her I think.
betty draper Posts: 728
thanks ladies, Know I've made the right choice!
candypants Posts: 8575
Oh, i was always under the impression that you couldnt make yur communion without been baptised? No? Could be totally wrong, but i remember years back kids getting christened at age 6 and 7, when i asked why were they been christened at that late stage in their lives the reply was "oh he has to, his communion is coming up".
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="miamiladyde":3gnomnmz]Yeah candy you do need to be Baptised to make communion. I am a god parent 3 times over and its not just in religion you are there to support , I see it as a support network for there parents too, so god forbid if my sister and her husband have a car accident tomorrow and both die me as their children's god parents would take these kids to live with me and bring them up. This is how I see it and this is how I picked my 2 children god parents, I picked people I wanted to look after my kids if I could not do so. I have 10 Nieces and nephews and I feel more responsibility to the 3 that are my god children and would get them nicer presents , take on holidays and spoil them more than the others in general. I think it strange to ask a stranger to do this, there must be someone here in Ireland she knows in her own culture that could do it. If not there should be some kind of exception to the rule if there is no one she knows and she is a devote catholic and wishes her child to be this[/quote:3gnomnmz] + 1 to all that you have said! I feel the exact same. And it's a relationship you build up from the moment the child is born.
Smileykaz Posts: 7296
Just on the 'if my sister dies I get the kids thing' (not to sound flippant, just shortening what you said Miamilayde!). That's not strictly true. Well, it's true in that what you intend is for you to get the kids if something happens to your sister and you chose Godparents for the same reason. BUT Godparents have no legal standing. In law, unless you specify in a will, Godparents don't automatically get the kids. You have to have a written document naming the guardians for your children and it has to be lodged with the courthouse. I'm guardian for my niece, my husband and I are, and legal papers were drawn up to that effect. I'm not her Godmother, but I am her legal guardian and if something happens to my sister and her partner, the child comes to me, Godmother or no Godmother. So just be careful with that. If you want your children to go to someone specific, you need to get that drawn up in a legal document. If God forbid anything happened, next of kin such as a Grandparent would have more rights than a Godparent. Godparent is strictly a religious honour.
cremebrulee Posts: 8546
Why would your DH want to be a godfather to a stranger's child? I think you definitely made the right decision to stay out of it. Would she have been doing to ask for money from you another time?? That was my first thought upon reading your first post but sure, I could be wrong... Miamilayde... I didn't realise people picked godparents to look after them in the case where the parents passed away... I thought a god parents duty was to look after the child's religious welfare...