28th April 2006 09:54Patrick, who was on holiday from Ireland on Bondi beach, couldn't seem to make it with any of the local girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice. "Mate, it's obvious." says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small and THEN...... drop a fist- sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya mate... you'll have all the babes ya want!" After a quick trip to the store, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist- sized potato. Every girl on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away screaming and looking sick! So Patrick went back to the lifeguard again and said, "I did what you said and I'm getting a worse reaction than before!" "Jesus!... Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes down the FRONT!"