Just got BFP at 9dpo after a mc at 12 weeks earlier in the yr and am due to go on a hen weekend tomorrow. Its with work friends and I don't want my job to know so I'm not sure how I will survive the weekend. I would be a big drinker on nights out and know the antibiotics excuse won't wash. I was thinking of confiding in one of the girls and do rounds with her but to be honest i'm a bit embarrased telling her when I'm actually not even 4 weeks!! I can't not go as I'm travelling and in a room with one of the girls and I would be leaving her in the lurch. Any advice?
when I found out I was first pregnant I was only 4 weeks and we had a family party in dublin which I had to go too.. What I did was to pretend to drink vodka with seven up. I would go to bar and get 7up and drink that. When drinks landed on my table cause I was in a round i would add a little of the 7up take a sip and bring the drink to the bathroom and leave it there or move around the bar and just drop it there. it was hard work to be honest i was constantly watching in case i got caught.. nobody noticed.. not sure if that is any help. best of luck.
hello and firstly congrats on the great news.
I did the exact same as ginger2. I had a big party in London and pretended to drink vodka and soda with lime!!! I refused all offers of drinks and then just nipped up to the bar to get a sparkling water. My DH helped too. At dinner I just had a glass of wine in front of me that I didn't drink...then DH drank it...swopped glasses when no one was looking! Say no to all shots and just say you want to pace yourself and enjoy the night! It was easy the first night in the club because it was dark and everyone was merry
Night 2 was harder in the pub. I had a bottle of Heineken in front of me but I didn't drink it...be prepared for someone to call you out...I was really pissed off when someone pulled me aside outside the pub and said "you're not drinking, you're pregnant aren't you?" I was so shocked I just said "yeah please don't tell anyone!" I found out later, this girl prides herself in being first to sniff out anyone that's pg! I just don't get that. I've often thought.." Oh she must be pg" but I'd never call anyone out like that. I think it's really rude!
I know it's a hen so you won't have DH there, but I would not confide in someone. I've read several reports of people doing that and it was spread around the office...lips get loose when there is a lot of drink!
I won't deny this is the hard part! When people don't know and you have a social occasion... Only in ireland is this such a problem! We're such a nation of drinkers!
Good luck and enjoy
Congratulations Lily! I've been on 3 hens since I found out and it is a pain but it's very doable. I did tell one person but I think it would be possible to do it without telling anyone. Here's a list of the tricks I used:
If someone's getting a round and you can't get out of it, either say you're not sure what you want yet and you'll get something in a minute, or say you're actually really thirsty and you're going to have a glass of water/coke/whatever first and then get a drink in a min. They'll get you the non alc drink and then you can go up to the bar on your own and get a 7up or a tonic or whatever - they'll assume you're getting an alcoholic one then.
If you can be out of sinc with people getting rounds it works well - if you have a full/ half full drink when they're going to the bar you can say you don't want another yet.
If it's table service, order a gin & tonic/ vodka & 7up etc, wait till the waiter/waitress has finished taking orders and then say you need to go to the loo. Chase the waiter/waitress, explain that you don't want the alcohol and that you don't want people to know - if anyone sees you they'll assume you're asking where the loos are.
If you're in a hotel or someone's house, have a bottle of non alcoholic wine in your bag/hotel room. Have a glass of wine, go to the loo/ your room, pour it out and pour in the non alcoholic.
It is very handy to have another person on your side if glasses of bubbles are being had as that's hard to get out of. If you have someone else who knows, they can swap glasses with you and drink yours. Alternatively pretend to sip and then just put it down somewhere and get a different drink.
Remember that everyone else is getting drunk as the night goes on so they won't notice a thing after the first hour or two so it only really matters at the start of the night. Good luck!!!
I was in a very similar situation recently. I usually love my wine and lager so told people I was watching what I was drinking because of ttc and also watching weight that stopped people wondering why I was drinking vodka and skipping the odd round. I just pretended to drink like the other girls said and after a while everyone was so plastered they stopped noticing. Was a long night and a bit stressful. You could also fake a vomiting bug and opt out. I'm sure everyone would understand you not going if you said you had a tummy bug