Large Problem

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

anontonight Posts: 2
Firstly sorry for posting this anon but couldnt face putting it under my normal name,am regular poster Short storey is that i am a larger pregnant lady, am carrying a good bit of weight and prob if i had asked doc if i should get pregnant then they would have said no Anyone i am currently 37 wks pregnant with my first, went to gynae today and felt my appt went v bad Firstly am suffering toxemia, have very bad swelling and some high bp at times. Doc checked babs today only to tell me that the baby is already 10lbs, he also said that it appears i am going to probably have a section due to my size and the babies size, i said well ok and he said well that carries risks aswell. I really feel like everything is going wrong, i have had so many issues due to my weight in this pregnancy. I accept that it is my fault but was devestated when the appt finished today. I didnt realise the baby was big, and i feel like the doc said well u cant do labour and a c-section carries risks, i felt like saying well this baby has to come out somehow I wish i could feel happy and look forward to the baby, after today it has put a real dampner on it, am crying all day He is checking me again nxt friday and believes we will have to deliver before my due date of 9 of october Guess i am just venting but am really disappointed with today's outcome :o( :o( :o( :o( :o( :o(
Tess72 Posts: 1173
Sometimes the doctors & nurses aren't the most tactful. My DS was slow regaining his birth weight and different doctors and nurses have given me different advice. Some "worst case scenario" advice scared the life out of me and had me crying for days unnecessarily. So try not to worry too much. You are so close now and in just a few weeks you'll have your beautiful little one in your arms and it will all be worth it.
Anonymous Posts: 24542
Okay, first of all, take a deep breath. Go on. Take a deep breath. Now, I know it's hard to relax when you're worried not just about yourself but also about babs, but believe me, that's the best thing that you can do for both of you right now. As Tess said, sometimes doctors can be very blunt. I guess it comes from seeing all medical conditions as so matter-of-fact that they sometimes forget that there's a real person, with real feelings and concerns, behind it all. Estimating baby's weight is always a guessing game. I was told that DD was a good bit over 8lbs the week before she was born, but she was actually less than 8lbs when she was delivered. Sometimes they overestimate, sometimes they underestimate. What matters is that babs is healthy, and if there are no other concerns about your baby then I wouldn't let that worry you too much. If you read over some of the birth stories here you'll see plenty of wollies had 'heavy' babies, so try not to worry as your LO is obviously doing well in there. Yes, being overweight yourself does carry some risks, but remember that women of all shapes and sizes deliver healthy babies every day. The best way to deal with your toxemia is to get plenty of rest. Is your doctor or consultant monitoring it to make sure that you don't develop pre-eclampsia? As for the section, it's major abdominal surgery and will always carry risks. I ended up having to have a section as babs got into difficulty during labour. I beat myself up over it afterwards, as it was [b:2ujmckv6]not[/b:2ujmckv6] what I wanted, but I came to realise that without it I might not have my beautiful daughter sleeping soundly upstairs right now. I was warned about the risks at the time too, but the alternative wasn't an option. Whatever way your LO is delivered won't matter much in the long run, so long as they are safe and healthy. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to stop beating yourself up and start being good to yourself and babs. Get plenty of rest. Try some relaxation exercises. Get out for a little fresh air, even if it's just for a 10 minute stroll. It might also be worth telling your doctor how you're feeling about this - if nothing else, it might remind him that you're actually a human being, not a case study. Turn off the laptop or PC, go to bed and get some rest. I promise that things will look better in the morning. Mind yourself. *)
nea dude Posts: 749
I just read your post today and I hope you have woken up this morning with a more positive way of thinking. [b:x9yks6db]No woman, heavy or not, can ever know what way her pregnancy will go. [/b:x9yks6db] It may not be the ideal pregnancy that you have been expecting but at the same time your baby is still healthy and the doctors have made the correct decision to deliver the baby by section. The medical staff that will deliver your baby are well experienced and have probably carried out the procedure on too many patients to remember. With every surgery there is a risk, doctors make patients aware of this, more to cover themselves than anything else. Wishing you a safe delivery and a very speedy recovery :lvs :lvs :lvs
newone Posts: 1714
You poor thing, being worried and upset like this at this stage of your pregnancy. There is nothing that you can do about the extra weight at the moment. So don't worry about it, worrying will only make things worse. I know girls who have given birth to babies over 10lb and they have been fine and we all know people who have had c-sections and they are fine too. You will be fine and you will have a beautiful baby and the weight issue you can tackle when you have recovered from the birth. Chin up, you are almost there. :lvs
theoracle Posts: 7664
Just to let you know, my sister is a larger lady too and had all sorts of issues in the pregnancy (diabetes, HBP etc) and had to be sectioned. The 'little bundle' is 6 years old this year! My sister is fine too. Sending you a virtual hug. Don't feel down.
rushinbride Posts: 1097
:action31 Oh my god, You poor pet... Firstly that doctor was a wan*er, the majority of them are, pompus ignorant fu*kers... Suffering from toxemia and high BP isn't solely down to you carrying extra weight, i mean anyone can suffer with this, don't blame this on your weight or yourself, its a condition of pregnancy that any pregnant woman is at risk from... A section does carry risks, wether your a 'still fitting into your size 8jeans' pregnant woman or a woman carrying extra weight, its still an operation...a normal delivery carries risks too... don't let his ignorance or lack of people skills but a dampner on your new babies arrival, I've had a section, I'm having another (hopefully)...your doctor is a pr!ck, probably more annoyed at the fact that your 10lber was a boy and had a bigger w!lly then he has... I think your baby being 10lb is a great thing, you'll be having him/her earlier than expected and can begin yer life together so soon, try not feel down over him...don't let him take this happiness from ye... I had a hospital appt on thursday, and there were a lot of medical students of the girls that had been examined by a med student came out of her room kinda saying What The Fu*k...she told her friend that the med student was examining her and the doctor asked her to tell him her findings...(i'm sure dr meant, size of womb, position of babs etc) well the med student said...'She has quite a lot of stretch marks, which would suggest she has put on a lot of weight...' :eek Dr had to apologise on med students behalf for her comment...i'm just telling you this just to give you an insight into the stupidity a lot of this dr's suffer from... i think the poor fu*kers spend so much time doing studying for their exams etc that they don't spend time with human beings, and therefore have zero common sense or people skills...its a shame really...
fraggle rocker Posts: 1426
First off I am sorry to hear that your doctor made you feel like this. He had no right too, you have come so far is your pregnancy and should be proud of yourself. You have no control over what weight your baby will be and it has nothing to do with your weight. I would say take what this doctor said with a pinch of salt. My friend is size 24-26 and all through her pregnancy you would not have been able to know that she was pregnant as she just looked like she put on weight. She got diabetes during pregnancy and they told her that at 36 weeks baby was 10.5 lbs and that they would have to induce her and most likely she would need an emergency c section. Well guess what they induced her at 39wks she had a vaginal birth and the baby was a 6lbs 10 oz girl. Hope you feel better :wv
anontonight Posts: 2
Hello again all Have only been able to log back in today Just want to say thank you all so much for your very kind replies WOL is a therapy in itself and as many of you have said what ever the birth or whatever the babs weight as long as both of us are ok then that it all that matters Thanks again to you all, i sincerely appreciate your kind words Big hugs to you and your bumps xx :xox :xox :xox :xox
Anonymous Posts: 24542
Glad you posted back. Hope you're feeling better today. :wv