How difficult did you find this? We only wanted to have a small wedding (about 40 people) and we're now at 71 including ourselves! I know lots of people are presuming that they're going to be invited when they won't be. Did anyone else have this problem and how did you approach it? Really don't want to insult anyone, but just don't want a big wedding as the thought of it makes me wince. Just not my style.
So long as people don't feel like the only people left out, I don't think there will be a problem!
Spread the word that you are having a small wedding with very close friends and family only. People shouldn't get offended then unless they *think* they are a very close friend and they're not
We're the same- just keeping it small- but some people are saying "really looking forward to your wedding" and I'm like eh- ure not coming in my head- we have all of our close friends and family spreading the word that it is a small small wedding- ! hopefully they will all get the hint- I am so standing my ground on it.
We in the same boat, havin small wedding so not inviting any aunts or uncles ect to the meal. We only booked date the other day and there is murder going on already so be prepared... As snow09bride says you'll have to stand your ground
We are having 60 (immediatle family and some aunties & uncles) for a really nice meal in the day time and then a party in the evening for the rest of the clan & friends etc.
We had originaly only wanted a small wedding but with feelings getting hurt etc. we thought that this way we could have the best of both worlds and not leave anybody out.
We're having around 70 people too - unfortunately that means we can't invite all aunties & uncles as there's loads of them. I think this may cause a few raised eyebrows at the beginning but hoping that there'll be no fall-outs. We've tried to spread the word that it's a small wedding.
Just a question to all of you others with small weddings - are you having the traditional bridal party (bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen etc)??
We are having one bridesmaid, a mini-bridesmaid (she will be 9 years old so not really a flower girl and not quite a b.maid!) a best man and a mini-groomsman (again he will be 9 years old).
We decided immediated family and good friends only - otherwise we'd be inviting 300 people. We're not bringing any aunts or uncles and the figure stands at about 100 - and that 20 more than we had intended!!! There's a few people were surprised a our decision but as another poster said you just have to stand your ground!
For the bridal party we're just having one Bridesmaid and the Bestman!!
Remember the mantra girls - My wedding My way or to be more accurate Our wedding, Our Way
We only had 46 at our wedding. To my H2B's delight I requested to get married in Oz (he's from there) as I was shocked at the regulations a lot of the smaller reception venues I checked out in Ireland imposed upon us. Plus we didn't want a religious ceremony at all.
We paid for pretty much the whole shebang ourselves* and got no pressure from any of hubby's family as to our wishes and who we wanted to invite. My folks are dead (well at least, one at the time of my wedding and one who was very ill - now deceased) so we had no pressure from my side either. We decided at a very early stage we just wanted very close friends - people who had been close and important in our lives during the previous 10 or so years and we invited no cousins at all as it would have caused a knock-on effect amongst my hubbys other cousins etc...
*My mum and dad in law - did give us AU$5000 towards the grog bill so we said 'fairs fair' - you we said they could invite 3 couples of whomever you choose and they were [b:2qtn0xs1]more[/b:2qtn0xs1] than happy with that. In fairness too, I did invite one Aunt from the U.K. - my dad's sister and my husband invited an Aunt too - his dad's sister also. Other than that it was all mates (about 12 from Ireland) and the rest from Oz - all in the 30 - 40 age bracket.
We probably spent the same amount of dosh on the 44 heads as we would have on 200 but wanted to give them a really good meal and good wine and drink etc... Was a fantastic day. I do think I am very lucky though to hae such laid-back in laws - they would have never even contemplated any notion of meddling with our plans in any shape of form.