So we got married, had an amazing day, can genuinely say it was the best day it possibly could have been and myself and the now hubby have such great memories of it. We went away on the honeymoon and had the time of our lives! But now, 3 months in and we still haven't managed to make love, in fact there is no intimacy in our marriage at all.
I have been suffering with a vulval pain disorder called vestibulodynia, or vulval vestibulitis, since our engagement 21 months ago making sexual intercourse impossible. It seems impossible to treat, I've yet to find a gynecologist or gp with any decent knowledge of it, I'm probably going to have to go to the UK for treatment. It is completely soul destroying to say the least. Not only do I experience chronic pain whenever we try any kind of intercourse, there are never ending psychological problems caused by this too.
I've spent endless hours researching it and trying to understand it, and I know that no matter what pain discomfort or self-loathing I'm experiencing it must be the same if not worse for my new husband. We're young, mid twenties, and had a really fun and active sex life before I got this condition. And now we can do nothing. And I'm really terrified that it's wrecking any chance we might have of a healthy relationship and marriage.
Because penetration is impossible I have tried and tried to encourage him to try other ways and explore other things, but I am hitting a brick wall at every turn. It's gotten to the stage now where he won't even kiss me passionately let alone allow it to go any further, and I feel like I'm constantly throwing myself at him.
Is there ANYONE out there who has/is suffered from this or something similar?! Can anyone offer any advice on what I should do?? Or can anyone recommend someone I could talk to?
Please please help if you can, I love him so much, I can't imagine living without him but if things don't improve I'm not sure if I can burden him with this for the rest of his life. He loves me I know, and has said that he's with me forever regardless but I don't know if I can do that to him.