Marriage breakups....

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Hepburn Posts: 4081
Very close friends of ours are about to go to court after a very nasty marriage breakup and now fairly close friends are calling it quits too. There are children involved with the latter and I really am gutted for them. Both marriages were less than three years old but both couples had been together since they were 17/18. With both couples their communication about the important things in life was practically nonexistent. I feel it's very soon to throw in the towel unless everything has been done to try to work on your relationship. There is no hope for our warring friends but for the couple with children I feel there could be a glimmer.... I'm pretty shocked by all of this happening so soon in our lives. You would expect breakups further down the line but it seems like only yesterday we were at both weddings.
Psycho Sue Posts: 1875
Hey Hepburn, I would have to say that break ups appear to be more common now alright. Friends of mine got married in Jan 07 and broke up in April 07. Well the Hubby left as I think he had doubts before the wedding but felt he had to go through with it. They were together 12 years and had lived together for 4/5 years - but thankfully there were no children involved. We knew about this only a few months before our own wedding which kinda gave us the gitters. And then a christmas time this year gone, we heard of another couple who have broken up after 2.5 years of marriage as well. Thankfully in both cases there are no children involved, but a lot of people appear to throw in the towel very early...... Heopfully I'm not one of them! :eek
TokenMale Posts: 6845
I think lots of people (especially those going out ages) fall into marriage without actually thinking about it. It's easily done. {Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that every couple that has been together for a long time falls into marriage, nor am I suggesting that everyone in a relationship from a younger age is destined to have an unsuccessful marriage, nor am I suggesting that if you fell into marriage without thinking about it you are destined to have an unsuccessful marriage, nor am I suggesting that the vows anyone took haven't been taken seriously, nor am I suggesting that it's right to break up when there are kids involved, nor am I suggesting that it's wrong to break up when there are kids involved, nor am I suggesting that it's right or wrong to break up when there are no kids involved.}
Hepburn Posts: 4081
Token are you OK? That's a pretty long disclaimer... :o0 Have you had a run in today?
Milly83 Posts: 3620
I have been going out with H2B since I was 18 but I think we have excellent communication and we tell each other a lot. I miss him so much because of his hours. But I understand what you mean, I think marriage is just something that has to be done in some people's eyes
Roxanne Posts: 3201
I agree with you Hepburn on the communication issue - a good friend of mine is in the middle of a very messy break up after five years of marriage. Basically they were all caught up in the whole head-over-heels thing but never had the most fundamental discussions such as which country they were going to settle in long term (he's not Irish) and what their expectations for their kids would be (she wants them to go to a particular school maybe one day college, he thinks that's snobby and a waste of time). Once their mutual infatuation wore off they discovered they were just far too different in every way to make a partnership. It's heart breaking though, they have two kids and they have already been effected by the rows, you can tell just looking at them. And my friend, who was always light-hearted and full of fun, seems to have aged fifteen years. Nobody wins in these situations. Edited because I seem to be challenged in the spelling department today!
TokenMale Posts: 6845
[quote="Hepburn":2jt3xx5k]Token are you OK? That's a pretty long disclaimer... :o0 Have you had a run in today?[/quote:2jt3xx5k] No, but WOL seems to be going through the PMT* stage of its cycle over the last few days and there have been a lot of posters dying to take things personally. Decided I'd get in early... {*Disclaimer: This does not refer to actual PMT, but merely the fact that I have noticed that, as an entity, WOL seems to go through regular periods where the posts have a tone of general crankiness. This is not to imply that the posters on WOL are suffering from PMT, nor is it to imply that PMT leads to crankiness in all women, nor is it to imply that your bum looks big in that.}
Hepburn Posts: 4081
:o0 :o0 Hormentality is rife!
Milly83 Posts: 3620
[quote="TokenMale":wmpa6nlw][quote="Hepburn":wmpa6nlw]Token are you OK? That's a pretty long disclaimer... :o0 Have you had a run in today?[/quote:wmpa6nlw] No, but WOL seems to be going through the PMT* stage of its cycle over the last few days and there have been a lot of posters dying to take things personally. Decided I'd get in early... {*Disclaimer: This does not refer to actual PMT, but merely the fact that I have noticed that, as an entity, WOL seems to go through regular periods where the posts have a tone of general crankiness. This is not to imply that the posters on WOL are suffering from PMT, nor is it to imply that PMT leads to crankiness in all women, nor is it to imply that your bum looks big in that.}[/quote:wmpa6nlw] :o0 :o0
winter08bride Posts: 863
Unforunately Ive seen marriages go under after only a year! Some people get married for the wrong reasons...others get married with alot of problems and think marriage will make them better.... With regard to the children in your friends' relationship - I would prefer to be the child of happily separated parents than be the child in a house with bickering ones. Ive never agreed with people that say you should stay together just for the kids sake coz I think its absolute rubbish & your kids arent going to thank you for it either What are you teaching your children by staying in a loveless/abusive/unhappy marriage.... Its a very antiquated notion in my opinion....