Maybe Controversial

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Jawl Posts: 8881
Just been reading through the forums, and it's also based on a conversation I had twice over the weekend. People saying they're not getting married for the presents, but just for themselves. Now, without wanting to put pressure on people who haven't got it, how would you feel if you got married and received no presents? :o0
gerbil Posts: 3528
Actually friends of mine got married recently and banned presents from the wedding. They're both very well off and they just wanted the day to be about the wedding not about people running around getting presents for them. Another couple asked for donations to a charity instead. So it does happen :) Personally several people didn't get us presents - it didn't bother me, they are good friends who have been there when we needed them which is much more important. I am glad however of the gifts we were given, every time I see certain things around the house they make me smile and remember both the day and the giver, so in that respect I loved getting them. But the primary focus of the wedding was not in any respect the gifts.
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
I don't think that anyone actually gets married for the presents. You'd want to be pretty messed up into the head to marry somone just for presents.... However, I would be upset if all the guest who came yo our wedding came empty handed. I'm not talking about big elaborate gifts or anything just a kind gesture to mark the occasion.
Smileykaz Posts: 7296
Honestly, I don't mind at all. We're not relying on any 'present' money at all, we won't be in debt after the wedding, we're dying to give our family and friends a day out. That's really the height of it! I think it would be very unusual to receive NO presents at all though and if every one of our 160 guests gave us nothing I would wonder if something was up! But we're genuinely not expecting or asking for anything. No gift list, no honeymoon register, nothing. If someone asks us outright 'what do you want' we'll tell them candles and photoframes are always welcome or if they'd prefer they can put the money they were going to spend on a candle/photoframe in an envelope. We'll be making a donation to charity ourselves as well for our wedding, just want to spread the love a bit! That said, one of my favourite threads on WOL is in newly weds and it's 'Worst present you got' and it's absolutley hilarious! I LOVE reading about the mad presents people bring to weddings! For the sake of transparancey - I've been to 16 weddings over the past three years and have never gone without a present! Always cash and always generous!
GreenerPastures Posts: 7284
I wouldn't be too bothered if we didn't get presents. Some people have a weird mindset about their weddings. They think they are 'treating' their guests to a day out and deserve a gift. It's a silly way of thinking and you are bound to be disappinted if you think people are going to basically pay for your wedding. We got either cash or gifts from most people, only afew haven't given us any gift. I was disappointed by this more because the same people didn't even give a card. I think a card is the least people can do but at the end of the day we got married for ourselves and invited people to help celebrate the day with us. What meant the most was that people seemed genuinely happy for us and helped enhance our day. Certain people at our wedding did some really bad things and really offended and hurt my family. I could have done without their present and would have settled for them acting like humans being and having manners to be honest.
havemovedon Posts: 2013
I wouldn't be upset if we got no presents, might be surprised as I always give a gift myself. We've already been given some gifts and I'm slightly mortified at the generosity of people. Too much! I don't think anyone gets married for the presents but I do think some people get so caught up in the wedding (party part) they maybe forget about the marriage part!
jamjars Posts: 1721
Oh I'm expecting AT LEAST €400 per person... I mean I have to pay like €200 for their dinner so the lease they can do is cover this and then some. I mean it's the wedding of the year, I mean yeah I guess it's about their company and stuff but they'r really lucky to get invited to my wedding... if I don't get money I'm just planning on cutting them out of my life forever. And I swear to god if someone turns up in a Coast dress :action28
Mrs2babridesoon Posts: 3319
I have always given very generously to all my friends/family weddings, I've have been at and before I meet my hubby I always went alone, (€200-€300close friends/150anyone else) My thinking its my way of giving them a little token to begin their married life together. Now only one friend didn't give us a gift, its hubbies friend so I really don't care.... But what really bothers me is my brother (I will have to delete this soon so please don't quote me) he came to wedding with his wife and two adult children money is real tight with them (bad money management still saying that they don't cook so have all their meals out every single day) so I never expected a gift but I would have been absolutely thrilled with a card wishing us well. It makes me so angry my older sister said it to SIL nicely and she replied we can't afford a card. Then only last week I see he got new lap top :eek Oh there is a world of shit I can go into but in this case all I really wanted was a card.
curliwurli Posts: 3369
we were genuinely not expecting any presents cos we kind of eloped and it was a big surprise but we were amazed at the generosity of our friends and family (and equally amazed at not getting a card or text or acknowledgement of any kind from some others!!) thank goodness for the gifts we did receive though, not sure we could have afforded to eat on honeymoon without the money we got :-8 I do happen to know people who get married for the money and presents - they purposely invite huge amounts of people so the wedding will "pay for itself" and the idea just freaks me out. but then again the whole idea of a "proper" wedding freaks me out too.
MiniMeonBoard Posts: 6208
[quote="Smileykaz":10aipfzo]Honestly, I don't mind at all. We're not relying on any 'present' money at all, we won't be in debt after the wedding, we're dying to give our family and friends a day out.![/quote:10aipfzo] +1 we have nearly the majority of our money saved and by the time the wedding comes we hope to have it saved fully. After 12 yrs together we r def not getting married for the presents or money.. However i LOVE cards and would be upset if someone came without even a card to mark the day (which IMO is only really manners - well thats not really worded right but hope u get what I mean). PPl come get meal & drinks etc so i dont think a card is much.. I have never gone to a wedding without giving money or present. [quote="Smileykaz"]That said, one of my favourite threads on WOL is in newly weds and it's 'Worst present you got' and it's absolutley hilarious! I LOVE reading about the mad presents people bring to weddings! [quote] Oh i love that thread too. Give me a wee laugh when i read it...