Maybe Controversial - Page 3

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Jawl Posts: 8881
That is one thing I can't stand, people inviting guests to 'pay for the wedding'. As in expecting x amount off each guest, so it will cover costs. That's almost as bad as people asking for money in my opinion. Or no, not asking but telling! People who say 'here's my wedding invite, and by the way we want money only' :o0 My SIL2b was on about this 2 weeks ago, and said to us would we want a present or money. H2b said we have only a small house, and as we've lived together 2 years we have everything we need. Now he never said we wanted money. She asked. Then she says 'Era ye'll make a fortune, I won't have to give yee that much' That makes me want to O:| When my brother got married I gave him a set amount of money, because that's what I wanted to give him, as his sister. It's like she thinks the wedding is a money maker! And yes, she's one of those who thinks the wedding will pay for itself! :o0
Jawl Posts: 8881
P.S. I meant to say it's what I wanted to give my brother as a present from his sister. Unlike sil2b who thinks 'oh feck it, I'll only give a fraction of that and keep the rest because they'll make loads'. If she wants to give an amount, give it with a good heart, or keep it :o0 That makes me sound like a money grabber, I'm so bad at expressing myself! :o0
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Pigeonwife - that poster asked not to be quoted?????!!!!!
dresstoimpress Posts: 1719
I would be upset if close friends or family came to our wedding with nothing. I think a present shows that the giver's care about you and your big day. It shows that they went to an effort to choose something for you, and they appreciate you. Its not about the cost of the gift, or being greedy, or selfish expecting gifts. Maybe I'm a bit spoilt, but I'd be really upset not to receive any birthday or christmas presents for the same reason.
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
[quote="DCee":15oxrofk] I hate when I hear people saying "were hoping to get on average 200 off each couple" or "Im going to get the garden done with ALL the money we are going to get". I think thats such bad manners O:| O:|[/quote:15oxrofk] I agree with the first bit of your statement but not with the second. Its not really anyone's business what the couple spend their gift money on, even if they do blurt it out in a gloating manner. The couple might not need that much money to do their garden lets say. Ages ago in a similar thread I said with whatever money we make from cash gifts, we are going to put towards clearing our credit cards, and some WOLLIE came at me saying thats a disgrace saying I'm going to do that :ooh Going back to OP, I would be a little let down if I didnt get any presents, but we're not relying on the money as we've saved our @sses off to pay for it in total before the wedding, give or take the odd wedding item we had to throw on the credit card (thus why I'll be putting some towards my bill afterwards). I'm sure there'll be a few in our gang who'll turn up empty handed but I'm not that bothered really. Whatever I get will of course only be a bonus really to the real meaning of the day which is marring eachother
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
[quote="DCee":20qxsvbj]Pigeonwife - that poster asked not to be quoted?????!!!!![/quote:20qxsvbj] bump :o)ll I noticed that too
BusyDee Posts: 8527
[quote="Dub_angel1":27vjsmha][quote="DCee":27vjsmha] I hate when I hear people saying "were hoping to get on average 200 off each couple" or "Im going to get the garden done with ALL the money we are going to get". I think thats such bad manners O:| O:|[/quote:27vjsmha] I agree with the first bit of your statement but not with the second. Its not really anyone's business what the couple spend their gift money on, even if they do blurt it out in a gloating manner. The couple might not need that much money to do their garden lets say. Ages ago in a similar thread I said with whatever money we make from cash gifts, we are going to put towards clearing our credit cards, and some WOLLIE came at me saying thats a disgrace saying I'm going to do that :ooh [/quote:27vjsmha] I think it depends on the manner in which its said though?! Like have you gone around saying to people you know that you were going doing that? Or did you just say it on here and maybe to your h2b? Anyway I dont think theres anything wrong with that! Whatever money we get will go towards our loan (dont know yet if we need one but if we do it will but Im not gonna say we will buy x from it as I dont know what money we will get if any!!) I know someone who went around saying that about the garden for about 6 months before the wedding in a real "gimme, gimme, gimme" tone and then was annoyed that they didnt make what they expected and she didnt get her garden. And still mentions it 2 years later! I think thats bad form.
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
[quote="DCee":6icbbhtg][quote="Dub_angel1":6icbbhtg][quote="DCee":6icbbhtg] I hate when I hear people saying "were hoping to get on average 200 off each couple" or "Im going to get the garden done with ALL the money we are going to get". I think thats such bad manners O:| O:|[/quote:6icbbhtg] I agree with the first bit of your statement but not with the second. Its not really anyone's business what the couple spend their gift money on, even if they do blurt it out in a gloating manner. The couple might not need that much money to do their garden lets say. Ages ago in a similar thread I said with whatever money we make from cash gifts, we are going to put towards clearing our credit cards, and some WOLLIE came at me saying thats a disgrace saying I'm going to do that :ooh [/quote:6icbbhtg] I think it depends on the manner in which its said though?! Like have you gone around saying to people you know that you were going doing that? Or did you just say it on here and maybe to your h2b? Anyway I dont think theres anything wrong with that! Whatever money we get will go towards our loan (dont know yet if we need one but if we do it will but Im not gonna say we will buy x from it as I dont know what money we will get if any!!) I know someone who went around saying that about the garden for about 6 months before the wedding in a real "gimme, gimme, gimme" tone and then was annoyed that they didnt make what they expected and she didnt get her garden. And still mentions it 2 years later! I think thats bad form.[/quote:6icbbhtg] :o0 ok then yea thats bad form. I agree, its how its said. No I defo didnt say it to anyone except H2B and WOL forums what I might do with anything we receive from the wedding. When the subject of money/presents/what I'll spend it on etc comes up once in a blue moon around family and friends (that they brought up) I get really embarrised. THe only thing I've no problem saying is if they ask do i want money or a gift, and I politely say money would be handy, but otherwise I'd say nadda.
Jawl Posts: 8881
I agree with you Dub Angel, and the others who said it's the manner in which it's said. I knew a colleague once who desperately needed the money, and was putting pressure on guests to only give money, because she'd booked a 5 star honeymoon that she couldn't afford, but was hoping the presents would cover it. It got to the point where she was telling us 'You MUST give me money'. I thougth that was very rude. Have the wedding you can afford, don't depend on cash gifts to fund it. Otherwise sell tickets! :o0
Tinkerbride Posts: 392
[quote="mrs bmw":1skatrdc]I didn't get a present from my chief bridesmaid, not even a card. A present I can do without but I am a sucker for a nice card, I have shoe boxes of them for special birthdays and occasions![/quote:1skatrdc] Same. There were a fair few people at our wedding, including BM's/Groomsmen that didn't even give us a card. We didn't expect any presents at all, I told loads of my friends id be annoyed with them if they bought us stuff (hotel was expensive to stay in and money was really tight for one or two of our friends) but a card? FFS, its a euro. I would NEVER turn up to a 21st without a card, let alone a bloody wedding. That business of "expecting" a certain amount from each person is crazy... do you think anyone actually does that?!