27th September 2007 12:25This will be long, but I really need advice. Had a mixed relationship with MIL for last 9 yrs. Nothing ever happened. She just never took to me and always made snide remarks and I just let her away with it and told DH not to bother either. We bought a house and got married over the summer. Coming up to our wedding, she was nice enough. Obviously making an effort ...probably cos her son is moving in with me, I thought. On the wedding day, at our wedding dinner, MIL said something sarcastic to me in front of everyone. Let's pretend DH name is "Robert", let's pretend he likes to be called "Rob". Well, I was talking about the cake topper, (my mother had our names engraved on it as a surprise) and MIL said his name is not Rob, its Robert and it should be Robert on everything in the wedding and you shouldnt be calling him Rob. I nearly choked on my wedding meal. People stopped eating, looked at me for a reaction and, despite my embarassment and my good behaviour in the past, I snapped back. I said, his name is Robert, but he likes to be called Rob and thats why his name is printed like that on everything. His Dad agreed. and then said to MIL"let it go for Gods sake" in front of everyone DH had been talking to other people on my side of the table and hadnt overheard what had happened and I didnt want it to ruin our day, so I just got on with things. After the honeymoon, I told DH and he hit the roof. Said he wouldnt have her picking on me and all I've ever done is try to be nice. He wanted to go around there and have it out with her, but I wouldnt let him, until he calmed down. Fast forward 3 wks and he had it out with her last week when I wasnt there. Told her that if she has a problem with anything to do with him, to go to him and not to me. Said it was his choice to have his name as "Rob" and that she shouldnt have said what she said at all, never mind at our wedding in front of people. Well, she denied it down to the ground. Until FIL came in and stood up for me and said that it had actually happened. She lost the plot then...said we were calling her a liar etc. Neither DH or FIL were having any of it. But DH felt better having said his piece and moved on. Now, she's not talking to DH. And although he doesnt seem to care (cos he's still angry), its bothering me and its upsetting FIL aswell. DH invited them both over to pick wedding pictures for their album (we're giving parents an album each) and she said she won't visit our home, to bring the photos to her on a disk. DH just ignored her at this stage. She can go and take a long walk off a short cliff if she thinks she's getting ANY photos now. Not only that, but if she ever does call to the house, I'm not letting her in until she apologises. After what she said to me on our wedding, hurting DH feelings and for our put a dampner on things during our first few weeks of marriage. DH said its the straw that broke the camels back and he's well off out of the house and she can go and take a running jump. He spoke to his Dad about it and he feels the same way. Says he's sick of her too. Im really peeved with her and I really have had enough. FIL now comes to our house quite alot and we cant seem to get rid of him-it was after 12 when he was leaving the other night. I think she might be fighting with him cos he obviously "sided" with us. Yikes! Family politics, eh?!