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PhDmammy Posts: 387
I am so stressed! My mother has decided that my parents will pay for their family and friends (their way of getting to invite who they like). I ordered diy invites ages ago and asked her to finalize the list so I would order enough material. When it came to sending them she had added more people and I didnt have enough invites. Had her over for dinner last night to try cut down the list as there is so many people on it neither h2b or I know and she wouldnt, refused point blank, even had the cheek to add more. I had to cut people off my list and h2b offered to send some of his friends some cheap invites not handmade by me. she sat there through all this and didnt bat an eyelid. she could clearly see I was upset and still would not budge on her list. 120 people altogether she is inviting..she says loads wont go its just a formality..I say why should I have to cut a bunch of people off my list just for her friends to go. I am so upset!!! :o( :o( :o( :o( :o( :o(
ciaraella Posts: 5323
You need to put your foot down over this! If it means her contributing less and you can do that then that's what i would do. At the end of the day it's your wedding and you will regret it if you let yourself and H2B get railroaded into doing things you don't want to do. Be polite but firm, make your list with h2b and sit down with her and explain what you want. You can do it!!
PhDmammy Posts: 387
I already tried a while back about the people she was inviting and it turned in to a full blown argument. I had hoped my dad would stick up for me but it didn't happen. She just won't budge! She has been a bit of a momzilla the whole way through all the preparations. My brother has been very good in sticking up for me. The problem now is she is gone away for the weekend for my cousins wedding and I want to get the invites posted by monday so won't get a chance to bring the topic up again! :o( I probably couln'd count on my two hands how many times I have said it to her about inviting all these people. She keeps pointing out shes paying for her own guests so what is the problem. She forgets that she isnt paying for the extra invites or any other parts that will cost extra due to the number of people.She is just paying per head for the meal!!
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
I'm sorry to sound harsh but you are a fool for letting her do this. It is your wedding and not HERS! Put your foot down!
PhDmammy Posts: 387
I know i'm a fool. I am an awful softie and hate confrontation. :-8 Had such a bust up a few weeks back with a BM a few weeks back..not sure shes even BM anymore. and I just let tht slide as well. I need to stand up for myself but I hate all the hassle and arguments that come with it. I just get upset and start crying :o(
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
[quote="fredsmom":321hcrl2]I know i'm a fool. I am an awful softie and hate confrontation. :-8 Had such a bust up a few weeks back with a BM a few weeks back..not sure shes even BM anymore. and I just let tht slide as well. I need to stand up for myself but I hate all the hassle and arguments that come with it. I just get upset and start crying :o([/quote:321hcrl2] Believe me, I know where you are coming from as I had this initially. But thankfully my mom backed off big time when I threatened to pull the whole thing! Stand up for yourself- you only have ONE day and do not let your mom have the reins, you will be miserable hun.
PhDmammy Posts: 387
I know my cousin is only having a small wedding with close friends and family so I hope when my mum comes back sunday she will see how ridiculous she is being inviting all these people and I will definately say something then..and bring my brother for back up! :o0
Twirl Posts: 5598
OH MY GOD, 120 people thats crazy. The chance are most of them wont go but still. You wouldnt mind as much the evening people but seriously. You poor thing, i know some people can be completely over powering and at the end of the day you dont want to offend or hurt people feelings. But 120 people is another wedding. What do you think you will do? With regards to your invitations i would give all the ones you are making yourself to your friends and who was on your list and then get other ones from your mams people.
PhDmammy Posts: 387
Hey twirl. I was thinking of doing this but my mother loves to brag and has already told the majority of people that they are invited and I handmade the invites! I can imagine her now at my poor cousins wedding bragging away!! O:| O:|
Twirl Posts: 5598
Oh no. I really feel for you. I am bit i'll do things to keep the peace but about 2 years before my wedding my mam was saying this person will do that and she will do such and such even said no point in having a band sure my auntie will sing. She nearly drove me insane. I had to ask my dad to have a word as i knew if i said it i would probably insult her, mind you sometimes she wouldnt even realise. The other day she was on the phone to me and i was listening away, i said look im here if you need me anytime.... Hello mam... next she said oh isnt it shocking what they do to those poor people. She was watching the Xfactor and here am i giving up my time to listen to her complaints and when i do say something shes not away on another plannet. Sorry about that. When is your wedding?