money rows - what have I done?

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sunsparks Posts: 2196
Day I found out we were pg, got a massive c card bill from my trip to the US just before. We then had to take out a loan to cover it. But, for some unknown reason, I never seem to be able to regularly check my a/c and have since Xmas loaded up my c card/o'draft with another 1.5k - mostly presents/loan repayments - but DH is going mad. His parents are here at the moment and the only reason he's not roaring mad is cos his Mam is sitting in the room. The issue isn't even so much the debt, just that I can't ever seem to know how much is in my a/c (he asked me tonight how much I was o'drawn and I guessed 100 or so when it was 1k - I'd forgotten about 400 for a loan). I can see his point but don't honestly know what to say to him and am dreading the row now...
hipbaby Posts: 4530
Oh God I know how you feel this time last year DH got a new job and before that we were on a very tight budget and to say I lost the run of myself would be an understatement. My advice is to ask your DH can you talk about it in a day or so and for you do an excel spreadheet of all your incomings and outgoings then do a list of everything you owe. Add all your debt together and contact a few banks and ask them for a competitive quote, if they offer 11%APR lie and say you have been offered 9% by someone else and they may match it. Anyway then when you have all your details sit down calmly with your DH tell him you know you've messed up but here is the solution - the loan. Then show him your new monthly budget and this is the prevention for you going off the rails again! HTH Loz www.hipbaby.ie
Puds Posts: 70
Hi Sunsparks I know some of the banks are starting to offer a mobile texting service to send you regular texts with your balance so you know how much is in your account. Might be worth checking it out. Best of luck. Puds x
whackywoman Posts: 1496
sunsparks Do you have online banking set up on your account would you put in a reminder in your phone for say every second day to check your on-line balance so at least you know wheher you have money in it or not. Also maybe it may be no harm of keeping track of exactly how much you spend for say two months so you can see where your money is going I can understand that your DH will be angry but i'm sure you will sort it out and don't get too stressed as it is not good for the baby.
Pumpernickle Posts: 206
Poor you Sunsparks........ think about doing a weekly / monthly budget depending on how you're paid. Seriously, its the only way to keep yourself on the straight & narrow :-8 Also, as one of the other posters said, set yourself up with online banking & you can check your balance anytime. DH and I have a monthly budget outlining absolutly everything - all bills, mortgage, savings etc. We each know exactly how much to transfer into our joint account so what I have left is my own to spend.
Dora the explorer Posts: 1570
welcome to my world my dh said he wanted to take my laser card off me the other day :o0
bride0807 Posts: 203
Why dont you register for online banking and maybe keep a monthly excel spreadsheet for your accounts and credit cards. Update the spreadsheet ecerytime you spend money. I know i tmight sound like a lot of work but it will really help you see how much you spend each month and have a much better understanding of your finances. It might also help you to cut back a bit on unnnecessary expenditure :wv
Wedding?? Posts: 452
Im glad you can see his point, he is just worried about how much you are both overdrawn, and what needs to be done. What I would suggest, is that you think of a plan / solution to how this can be sorted. It shows you are responsible for it etc. I would even go as far as saying that you should - pay it off asap, and cut it up.... If you can't manage it and keep it in line, you will only end up having an ongoing row with hubby over the same issue time and again. [quote="sunsparks":39zzl8q1]Day I found out we were pg, got a massive c card bill from my trip to the US just before. We then had to take out a loan to cover it. But, for some unknown reason, I never seem to be able to regularly check my a/c and have since Xmas loaded up my c card/o'draft with another 1.5k - mostly presents/loan repayments - but DH is going mad. His parents are here at the moment and the only reason he's not roaring mad is cos his Mam is sitting in the room. The issue isn't even so much the debt, just that I can't ever seem to know how much is in my a/c (he asked me tonight how much I was o'drawn and I guessed 100 or so when it was 1k - I'd forgotten about 400 for a loan). I can see his point but don't honestly know what to say to him and am dreading the row now...[/quote:39zzl8q1]
ellee Posts: 666
Hmm, bit of a bad habit alright. I can see why he's so cross. It seems loony to be running up debt mindlessly. Have you thought of getting rid of your credit card and surviving with your laser? a friend of mine did that and she said it helped her manage her debt enormously. Or maybe just have a joint account so he can manage the billing end of things? Online banking is a lifesaver as are reminders on phones etc to pay your bills in time! No way around it really, you've just got to learn to manage your money girl! good luck *)
Forgottenpassword Posts: 1078
I know you say for some unknown reason you cannot check your account, but, surely you still know how much you are spending? It is obvious you are living beyond your means and you need to sit down and do a serious budget. To get into debt of 1.5k for Christmas is scary (which I know you are well aware of) To think you were 100 overdrawn and then to actually be 1K overdrawn really sounds like you have a spending problem. Cut up the card, you will survive. Also, dump the excuses, the fact you could not check the account does not excuse the fact you spend all that money. I am sure you will be okay, just get a budget in place and stick to it. It is so easy to go overboard on buying things for baby as well, and you need to be careful not to get carried away. Good luck with it all, FP