Mother coming to stay when Babs arrives

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Car2318! Posts: 53
Hi all Just wondering if any of you have plans for your Mom to come and stay a few days after your baby arrives - or is this an outdated way of thinking? This will be my first & would like my Mom to come for a night or two until I get the hang of things. Am comfortbale with kids but its the little things like breastfeeding, temperatures etc that get me nervous. Anyway DH is not so keen - in fact not at all keen What do you think or have you similar plans in place? Thanks Car
MrsJayKay Posts: 3025
each to their own Car but a day or two is not all that long and I'm sure your mum is probably just excited. My cousin and her partner when to LIVE with her parents till the baby was about 7 months old!! Now to me THAT was a bit excessive. I also know another couple who went to stay with the wife's parents till the baby was about 3 months and they weren't really young parents or anything. My mother keeps putting in for me and DH and babs to stay with them when we first have baby but I keep saying no that we want to bring our baby home to our own house to get into our own routine. No doubt my parents will be LIVING in our ears though. They can't wait.
fraggle rocker Posts: 1426
I would love to have my mam with me throughout it all, the birth and for a day or two after but dh is against it and feels that this is our little family and that I would not want his mother around which is true. I have to go with how he feels.
tanyababy. Posts: 511
I would be afraid that my child would become more attached to my mum than me. Or that I would be completely useless and that my mother would be the one who could soothe and calm babs. I want to do this myself. But in saying that I could be crying down the phone for some help once babs arrives :o0
fabcards Posts: 541
Yes you need to take his feelings into consideration....i know i wouldnt want my MIL moving in but would want my mother or sister here ...my hubby dosnt mind but if he did id have to go with what he wants also....you will be in the hospital for a few days anyways and your mum will just be on the oher end of the phone also....im sure she will be visiting also so you will have support there if needed....maybe he will change his mind when the baby comes and he sees how tiny and vunerable it is and how something so small can keep u awake all night!...he'll be glad of the help
Forgottenpassword Posts: 1078
I personally think that you would be better off hitting the ground running so to speak. Your mum could come for a couple of nights, but, then you might get very dependant on her and not want her to go. Considering your DH does not agree with it, I think you need to realise that this is as much his choice as yours (as long as he will be off work during that time) He might feel that he will be pushed out if your mum is there and he will want to spend time with his new baby as well. If you really feel you need her go ahead, but, you will be surprised at how it all just comes to you when your baby arrives. FP
Car2318! Posts: 53
Thanks girls, your feedback has been great. Might see how I get on and sure she can come and stay if I am in a right panic. Think i will let DH sweat it out a few more days though!! :o0 Cheers Car
fabcards Posts: 541
lol...oh your cruel :o0 :o0
Forgottenpassword Posts: 1078
Excellent plan, in fact why don't you tell him if he does X,Y and Z that you might consider not asking her to come - that way you can get something out of it as well - Bonus!! FP
Grunge Bride Posts: 2529
This is something I've been wondering about actually. I wouldn't be particularly keen, as we're not close in a girlie sort of way, but she mentioned ages ago that her mother came to stay with her when she had me, so I wonder if it is something she's expecting? She hasn't mentioned it though. DH will be taking some time off work when I come home with the baby so it would be the 3 of us trying to get used to each other. I just can't imagine how my mother would fit into that.... Maybe 30 years ago when men were less "hands on" with new babies, it was the thing for your mother to come and help, or maybe if you're best buddies she'd come to give you a dig out or do the cooking or something while you looked after baby, but I just can't imagine it.