My heart is breaking... creche

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Cinzia Posts: 737
I know there are dozens of WOL posts on creches, settling LOs in, etc, etc. I've read them all... so this post is just so I can write down how I'm feeling because I have nobody close who has gone through this... and I don't think our DHs can ever understand how a mother feels about this... I'm settling DS into the creche this week and my heart is breaking. I think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Does anybody else think it is totally unnatural to give their LOs over to somebody else to mind? I know DS is going to be fine eventually but it's so, so hard. My prayers to win the lotto haven't worked yet :o0 so it looks like I have to actually go back to work in two weeks. From reading all your posts it looks like it'll all be fine and DS will be happy eventually so I have hope! Big hugs to all the mums who have to leave their LOs to go to work outside the home :action32
bridalnowmam Posts: 2202
Cinzia, i totally agree with you i am back to work and i hate it, it is absolutely torture, i know some people say it gets easier but i didnt for me O:| :o( Re creche, my DS is with a minder and he did eventually settle but knowing a minder will see him for many more hours than i do a week really annoys me, i am still wishing about the lotto :-8 You are right it is totally unnatural but i am trying to think that i am doing my best for him, bringing in some funds to treat him and give him the best i can Ah well we all feel your pain hun and i hope it gets a tad easier for you in the coming days, your DS will be fine it just takes time :xox
maisedon Posts: 1394
I know exactly how you feel Cinzia. I'm settling my LO into creche next week, and I'm devastated :o( :o( :o( I know she'll be fine and be looked after very well. Her 2 cousins are in the same creche and love going. It still doesn't change how bad I'll feel leaving her. 9am to 5pm is a long time to be away from your baby 5 days a week isn't it?....especially when you have been with them nearly 24 7 for months and months :o( I'll miss her so much :o( :o( :o(
sunnyside Posts: 3164
Cinzia it IS so hard. And to be honest I think there'll always be a little bit of me that hates leaving him in no matter how much I do it and regardless of how much he likes the creche now. But then I try to remember the positives. I honestly think DS has a better time in the creche for some of the week than at home with me 7 days a week where we would quickly run out of entertaining things to do. I've changed to part-time work and that has helped greatly. Do you have to go back full-time? Is there any way you could drop a day even if it meant giving up other things? Being back at work is good for me. I think I am a better mum for having a few days to myself and then when DS and I are together I can almost eat him I enjoy it so much :lvs . I think 7 days a week with just me and DS wouldn't be good for either of us. He eats all round him in the creche but is picky at home, he gets to celebrate a birthday nearly once a week as it's always someone's birthday in there. they paint, they play with each other, they sing songs I never heard of. Honestly your LO will grow to love it and as long as you are happy with the place itself then try your best to see the positives in it. And in the meantime eat loads of chocolate biscuits to make you feel better :wv
laughingcow Posts: 61
Cinzia - you are not alone - I think we all feel a little that way. I just came back to work on Monday of this week & it is without doubt the single most difficult thing I've ever done. I dropped my little lad in to creche last week to settle in & there's not a bother on him, the women minding him seem to think he's wonderful but I cried & cried. Thankfully as he's only 8 months old he's not making strange yet so he was fine. As sunnyside said though - I think I love him even more now (if thats possible)...I fly out the door in work and love getting him home at 5.30 for a good play on the floor before tea time. On the plus side too - he's so tired after seeing so many new things every day that he's sleeping like a log every night. I've just found out that the company I work for might be closing down and the thought of it doesn't scare me half as much as it might have before I had my little I may be home with him whether I want to be or not:-) Take care.x
Cinzia Posts: 737
Thanks for the replies girls :lvs sunnyside, I know exactly what you're saying. (By the way, am so thrilled your DS settled in after the horrible start you had with the other place). I think it's perfect timing for DS to go into the creche. I told the girls there at the start of the week that mummy just doesn't cut it anymore! DS is more than ready for the stimulation and fun he'll have in there, and I know once he settles in he'll have a ball. Like your DS, I'm really hoping my LO will eat better for them as well - it can be very frustrating to feed him at home, he needs constant distraction. And even after leaving him there for a few times now I too can almost eat him up when I collect him. I even think he enjoys being with me more having had those short breaks from me already. I'm hoping to go down to four days work a week and I'm sure even that would help. I'm having a pity party for me this week and then next week I'll get my positive hat on again! Bring on the choccie biccies and the wine!! :wv
corkbridie07 Posts: 72
Ladies ye can't win the Lotto cause thats my plan!!! Seriously though I will be doing my settling in week next week as well and I feel phsically sick at the thought of it. I am afraid he will think I am abandoning him although I just know he will have a ball. I am also fretting on how he will settle in with his naps and feeding as well as what he does and when doesn't match when the creche do it. Do you find that creches are more lenient with their routine and schedule when a baby first starts? I am so afraid he is going to be all of sorts.
mrs sarah c Posts: 522
I am back to work 3 weeks and baby loves creche.She beams when we walk in.They go by your routine at first there is no need to worry about getting your lo into their one it happens over time. One thing I would recommend is to get your baby used to other children before they start in creche.DD2 is well used to other babies as dd1 is always pawing her so she didn't bat an eye at the other nosey babies in the baby room! yesterday dd2 was wearing a chef's hat as they were "baking"(she is 8 months old!) and she cried when they were taking it off!!She looked so happy and somewhat similar to the chef from the muppets!!! Girls,find childcare you and baby are happy with and the guilt is a lot less!!
Bridezilla07 Posts: 2237
Cinzia, I could have written that post myself - God it's so feckin hard!! I've already bought my Euromillions ticket for this Friday. DS started in creche this week (only an hour a day until fulltime next week) and my heart broke into pieces and I blubbed my eyes out. I just feel like screaming "he's my son and I should be the one looking after him". I hate the thought of him getting upset when I'm not there and someone else comforting him, someone else changing his nappy, feeding him...oh the list goes on and on. I would be a SAHM if I had the choice and would be damn well proud of it too but we are not lucky enough to be in that position as DH is on a 3 day week and I've had to take a pay cut. In saying that, I collected DS after his hour today and he was bouncing away on his chair and taking in everything around him, happy as Larry! He saw me and beamed and chatted about his morning (dadadadadada) as much as a 6 month old can talk :lvs I must say the creche is fabulous and he's dealing with this change far better than I am but I know that, as a result of the creche, he'll be an outgoing and social little guy. I am back to work fulltime next week and leaving him for the day will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can't imagine even being able to concentrate in work but needs must and I must admit, it will be nice to have some money of my own again after 26 weeks of just Maternity Benefit. Thinking of you and all the other mums in this position Zilla07