Just need an outlet. We are announcing our engagement this sat to parents and I am well and truly sh*tting myself. Why? Well coz we have decided we are having a family wedding in Rome and I've an awful feeling there is trouble ahead and usually these feelings are accurate.
I had previously posted that if they complained and said they wanted the wedding here I was going to reply that they could pay for it as I wasn't but now I am worried that there will just be a pile of bad feeling and complaints.
Ah Catey, well first of all Congrats on (almost) announcing your engagement!
It's true that some of us have awkward family members who will always raise the blood pressure.
Just try to keep your cool, remember, this is going to be YOUR day, not theirs and try to keep telling yourself that nothing they say will change what you want.
There is always somebody who tries to throw a spanner in the works, but you only get to organise your own wedding once (hopefully!) so you should do it whatever way you want.
yup agree with mrs blues ,
congratulations, do it they way you both want to do it and fleck the people how begrudge the way you want to celebrate your day !
) its you and your h2b's day and that is how you want to celebrate it.
Fingers crossed for you and CONGRATS
[color=indigo:1cn3ruat][size=200:1cn3ruat][b:1cn3ruat]It's your day[/b:1cn3ruat][/size:1cn3ruat][/color:1cn3ruat]
Don't let anyone take that from you hun, if your family are going to react in the way you think they might, they need a reality check.
Don't worry, try and have your speech ready for them along the lines on (and go all bridezilla like
I agree with the other wollies.
Its your day, so do what makes you and your H2b happy.
aww you are me 2 years ago
We were scared to tell my parents we were going abroad to get married so to pre-empt their moaning i booked their flights and hotels THEN told them - sure it was a done deal then *
I still got some moaning about the length of the flight and the fact that it wasnt rome but still it solved a lot of problems
[size=75:31hmvt7a]*the above scenario did not apply to my inlaws they were thrilled and would have gone to timbuktu if we asked them to [/size:31hmvt7a]
If its Rome you might be a bit surprised at the good reaction. Even the most old fashioned irsih parents would love a day out visiting the vatican! We are going to Rome ourseves and after a bit of humming and hawing by my family (they do not travel) they are all now quite excited. The only thing is they appear to expect me to organise everything for them. My advice. Bring photo's of where you have booked. If its the san silvestro nobody could but be impressed! What exactly do you think they will crib about?
It's San Silvestro. I have the info booklet I just got in the post photo copied so they can see what its all about. I think h2b's mom will be delighted. She has been hinting at us to get married abroad and told me she would love to visit Rome again when I told her I was thinking of visiting.
I think they will be disappointed that its not going to be a big traditional Irish wedding though my dad I reckon will be relieved not to have to make a speech though he could also be a prob coz he has never flown before.....
How did people respond when ye told them ye were getting married abroad? I'm dreading the 'ohh Rome will be lovely' from the aunts and uncles only to have to tell them its immediate family only......
Listen, at first they might be a bit miffed about the Irish wedding thing but give it a few weeks to get used to the idea. They will very swifty relise the advantages. It is a lot less stressful for family. There is no keeping up with the Joneses. For example my Mum is not wearing a hat, she just do hats, she would have been stressed about this if it had been in Ireland. Also, my Dad is always hot so he never wears waistcoats, he would have been worried about being sweaty in photo's if we had followed the traditional route. As it is we have told him to wear anything he like- much to his relief. He actually had never flown until last year. Got his first passport at age 54. He was nervous the first time. Get your Dad organised. Talk though the whole security set up etc. so he knows what to expect. He could even do a short internal flight- Cork to Dublin firts if he is worried.
I am an only daughter myself and I think my family had been expecting the big day out but I just sat them down and explained that my nerves were not up to organising a big wedding. I said that this is what I really want. I will (hopefully) enjoy my day in Rome while I would be up the walls about a day at home. Your parents will understand this.
As for not inviting aunts and uncles- we are doing the same thing ourseves, or at least that is the plan but I have no idea how to put that plan into action. Some of them gave us really lovely engagement pressies... Think I will just cross that bridge when I get to it. Just do say at the outset that it is going to be a really small wedding so people won't assume that they are automatically invited.
You might be surprised how neighbours, friends etc actually talk your parents around with stories of so and so's wedding costing 60 grand and somebody else needing valium for the day.
Hope this has made some sense.
Would love how you get on and if you have any tips for the invite situtation pass them on.
It's your day....
Do what the others have suggested... just be straight and upfront with them... explain that as it's your day, you and your H2B are going to do it your way...
Please let us know how you get on, and don't let them talk you into something you know you don't want...