New Job at 10 weeks pregnant - lie about weeks?

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finet Posts: 403
its funny as there seems to be a few posts about similar topics at the moment, and I have read some previous ones here where everyone says that we are within our rights to start a new job pregnant but I would just like some opinions and advice on the dates side of things. I am starting a new job at 10 weeks pregnant and would like to wait a month before telling the new employers so that I can hopefully make a bit of a good impression before breaking the news. Mam suggests I tell them I am 2 weeks behind what I am - that way I would not have know I was pregnant when I accepted the job and handed in my notice. and I would be 12 weeks pregnant according to this when I told them so that would make sense I suppose. I basically want to do well in the job and am in it for the long term so I don't want to pee them off but its a small enough company (rather than a big company with a HR department), so I know that me going on maternity leave 6 months after I start is not ideal at all. I'm trying to not appear sneaky/cynical and I want them to know i'm in it for the long term and am dedicated to the job. However I read today that you have to finish work 2 weeks before due date, so if I tell them the wrong dates they may know that I lied and that would clearly paint me as sneaky. Half of me would just prefer to tell them the truth - I found out I was pregnant just as I was offered the job and I had been searching for a job like this and couldn't turn it down. I don't like lying but mam is telling me I need to be cute about this and she is probably right. don't know what to do :( havent told my buds I'm pregnant yet so can't discuss with them. any advice would be appreciated.
tribesdoll Posts: 295
I was in a similar position this time last year, I was early days pregnant when I was made a job offer and was trying to figure out when to tell them - I had a m/c at 10 weeks when I was working my month's notice for my previous company so it actually didn't matter in the end. I thought about it a good bit at the time though, and here's my tuppence worth.... You are in no way obliged to tell them you are pregnant before you start the job. You haven't even told your mates, so why would you be expected to tell a complete stranger in HR in a new company. However, I understand what you're saying about giving the right impression and showing that you are committed to the job. If you've signed the contracts and agreed a start date then they can't retract the job offer so you should be safe enough to tell them. Personally, I wouldn't lie about dates - do you want to give them the impression that you didn't know you were pregnant when you accepted the job? If so, then why would being pregnant affect your decision to take a job that you have wanted for ages? I think you should tell them the truth as it will come out when you apply for your maternity leave anyway. Misleading them would give a worse impression. What I decided in the end was that I would tell my new company as soon as I was 14 weeks, to give them enough time and notice to sort out a replacement for my maternity leave. I decided I wouldn't make any comment about knowing/not knowing when the job offer was made. The way I looked at it in the end was that I had every right to get pregnant whether I was starting a new job or not, and once I gave them reasonable notice then they really couldn't say anything. And anyway, I'm sure your excellent performance in the few months before you go on maternity leave will spell out how committed to the job and company you are :) Companies who make job offers to women of a certain age are well aware of the risks of hiring someone who will have to go on maternity leave at some stage... so don't worry about it too much. Good luck in your new job!
finet Posts: 403
Hi tribesdoll, thanks for your reply and sorry to hear about your m/c. I think you are right. It has occurred to me since that I could technically have not known I was pregnant on accepting the job at 6 weeks ( without lying about dates ) if I decide to go down the route of claiming I didn't know. As I said I don't like lying so either way I think I will knock that idea on the head. The idea of being fully entitled to accept a job when pregnant - I have to get that into my head! I think perhaps its cause the only women I have spoken to about this so far are my mam and grandmother and of course they will have an 'older fashioned' view of the workplace etc. Maybe when I tell my friends in a few weeks I will get more of the viewpoint that its my right and entitlement and I can see how I feel nearer to the time it comes to break the news.
ructions Posts: 2689
Wild Child Posts: 1694
I'd tell them the truth I was in the very same situation when pregnant on my first I was 11weeks pregnant when I started here and knew well I was pregnant when I took the job I never said anything until I was 16 weeks pregnant and when I told him he was a bit like "oh did you know when you took the job?" but by then I had proved myself I had stayed late and done a lot of cleaning up as the accounts were in a complete mess when I started! He was actaully ok about it! He was happy that I was honest with him and I was glad I didnt have to try to remember lies it would have been a nightmare if I had of made something up you have to keep remembering to lie about how far gone you are etc! I suggest telling the truth I cant see it making any difference that you knew or didnt know all they will be worrying about is finding someone to replace you when you go on leave.
rouged Posts: 121
I was in exactly the same position at the start of this pregnancy - found out about the pregnancy literally the same week as being offered the job and I was about 9 weeks starting by the time I had worked my notice period in the previous job. I agonised about this for ages, especially since the role was quite specific and I knew that it would be difficult to share my workload in-house during my leave. In the end I waited until I was about 16 weeks to tell them (after I had proved myself) and they were really happy and full of congratulations - of course they could have been thinking differently behind my back but knew well enough about employment law not to mention anything negative. I was talking to a colleague and she made a comment that because my role is so specific, it would be something that would come up at some stage, whether I am 2 months into the job or 2 years into the job, and at least I had told them early so they could plan for it. I mean they must have had a fair idea by my age that it would be something that would come up at some stage. They are getting someone in 3 days a week to cover my work while I am gone - it is actually someone else who they interviewed at the same time as me and wanted to take on as well part-time but the budget wouldn't stretch for 1.5 people for this project. Since they are not paying me for my leave, it means they can take her on temporarily and then if the project gets busier in 2012, they might be able to justify the 1.5 people then, so it actually worked out well for them in the end. I don't know how well it will work as I am 5 months with the company now and just getting into the swing of things so don't know if this person will be able to take over straight away but we'll see....sorry waffling here but just trying to give you my experience.
Ochre Posts: 877
Finet, congratulations about the new job and about the baby :o)ll Alot of girls I know waited till 14 weeks to tell work anyway (rather than 12) - reason being that dates can be out by at least a week so they wanted to be cautious. I'd tell them at 14 and not make any reference to why you're doing at 14 rather than 12 (or indeed 16 or 18 weeks). And for an easy life, I'd tell your Mum and Gran that they are right and that you'll do what they say :o0
Asics Posts: 1935
[quote="Ochre ":2ryhkvl3]Finet, congratulations about the new job and about the baby :o)ll [/quote:2ryhkvl3] +1 :o)ll :o)ll Would you not just tell them your pregnant whenever you feel comfortable with telling them & tell them that your not sure of dates till you get your scan ;o)
finet Posts: 403
This is all very helpful girls thank you - good to know this is quite a common situation. Also I have started now and about 95% of the staff or more, including my boss and the owner, are women, so I think that has to count for something - they must expect at least some of the women they hire to become pregnant while working there. [quote="Ochre ":2lnuf78k]And for an easy life, I'd tell your Mum and Gran that they are right and that you'll do what they say :o0[/quote:2lnuf78k] Ochre - thats so true about Mam and Nan - sometimes you just have to do that :o0 [quote="Asics":2lnuf78k][quote="Ochre ":2lnuf78k]Finet, congratulations about the new job and about the baby :o)ll [/quote:2lnuf78k] +1 :o)ll :o)ll Would you not just tell them your pregnant whenever you feel comfortable with telling them & tell them that your not sure of dates till you get your scan ;o)[/quote:2lnuf78k] Asics - that's a good point but they will prob cop that the half day I took was for my scan?