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meowwww Posts: 295
we are only 2 months married and it feels like nothing has changed, apart from the fact I dont get flowers anymore he doesnt make as much of an effort. He also thinks its ok to call me an ar**hole when he gets annoyed and tells me to shut the f**k up. He knows it upsets me but still does it and then says thats how he reacts when he gets angry. Then he comes to bed and puts his arms around me I feel like a dog.
sun flowers Posts: 3421
jebus... you need to talk to him.... if he was like this before the wedding he's not going to change by himself or because he's "married"... I think you need to vocalise that you wont be spoken to like that and that he should stop. I know its easier said than done best to do it calmly if you can... god you sound depleted.
Debb2010 Posts: 831
You should definitely nip that behaviour in the bud - no matter how annoyed he gets there's no excuse for that sort of name calling - its just plain nasty & rude. You're only 2 months married, this is still the honeymoon period & he should def be making an effort, sending flowers etc. My dad still sends flowers to my mam on special occasions and thats after 40 years! It works both ways obviously - both parties need to realise that after the excitement of the wedding comes the humdrum day to day existence and its up to both to keep the fun and romance in the relationship. Just don't accept the name calling though, its shows a complete lack of respect when someone does that.
LabLady Posts: 4325
ok that phrase nip it in the bud annoys me but.... You need to speak to him about it, I have been in a similar situation and you just feel like crap after. Talking does help! Keep the conversation calm.
Debb2010 Posts: 831
Eh, whats so annoying about "nip it in the bud"???
Little Angel Posts: 913
yes I agree with the other posters, get this sorted asap or else it will just be the start of it! no one should speak to you like that least not the man you married just two months ago!! You deserve to be treated with respect and love and dont let him think he can get away with not doing that when he is in a mood!!
meowwww Posts: 295
Thanks girls, Ive done the talking thing and its the same answer every time 'Thats how I react when I get angry' Ive told him he needs to control this because its not acceptable but sure why should he idiot here will still make his dinners and be quite becasue its not worth the row
Debb2010 Posts: 831
Meoww, if you can't change his behaviour then you have to change your own - as you say why should he change when you are providing 'normal service'. I hate confrontations but if someone is abusing you then you have to stand up to them or resign yourself to being a doormat who receives no respect throughout your married life - doesn't sound too appealing does it. Next time it happens tell him you have nothing to say to him until he can speak to you with a civil tongue in his head & tell him he can stuff his dinners, his unironed shirts & everything else you do for him where the sun don't shine until you get an apology. Don't make empty threats though, you have to follow through.
sun flowers Posts: 3421
[quote="Debb":3vd7ykyn]Meoww, [b:3vd7ykyn]if you can't change his behaviour then you have to change your own [/b:3vd7ykyn]- as you say why should he change when you are providing 'normal service'. I hate confrontations but if someone is abusing you then you have to stand up to them or resign yourself to being a doormat who receives no respect throughout your married life - doesn't sound too appealing does it. Next time it happens tell him you have nothing to say to him until he can speak to you with a civil tongue in his head & tell him he can stuff his dinners, his unironed shirts & everything else you do for him where the sun don't shine until you get an apology. Don't make empty threats though, you have to follow through.[/quote:3vd7ykyn] Thats sound advice.
meowwww Posts: 295
thanks Debb your right 100%