Non gifters?

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New Wolly
Posts: 66

Re: Non gifters?

Postby Auburn » Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:32 pm

Hey Smallensmall, if I was in your situation and they had not given us a wedding present, then I would not give them one. I think that they really should have given you one; I am of the mindset that if you aren't going to give a gift to the couple then you should not go to the wedding. However, if they went to yours already and didn't give you one, and then if you are to go to theirs, I'd say don't give a gift. There is no need if they didn't give one, plus would be awkward as you say if you gave one when they didn't.

Mini Wolly
Posts: 472

Re: Non gifters?

Postby whereland » Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:52 pm

I could not go to their wedding and give nothing. Maybe give a little less than you usually would if you're worried about making them feel bad for giving you nothing.

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Posts: 1689

Re: Non gifters?

Postby MrsSparkle2B » Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:10 pm

Smallensmall wrote:hey ladies,

Have a question.... we are going to a wedding next month of someone who came to ours a few months ago and didnt give us a card or a present or anything.

Not sure what I should do here... ours was abroad so I understand that it was expensive for people and on that basis I'm ok with not getting a present, in saying that a token or just a card would have been nice.

So do we give a present to them ? I'm not saying it because I'm pissed off but I guess if I was in their position I would be embarrassed to receive a present from us when they didn't give us one.

Anyway, any opinions would be appreciated :-)

I would give a gift if it were me & the reason being is if they made the effort to go abroad to your big day then I would absolutely give them something. It's possible they intend to give you something in future maybe as I'm sure going abroad cost them a bit & how awkward would that be then.

Mini Wolly
Posts: 232

Re: Non gifters?

Postby maybride2017 » Fri Nov 11, 2016 8:43 am

I would absolutely give them a gift, its not like your wedding was local, they came, ate all your food, drank your free drink and then left. They took time off work, spent money on flights and accommodation and spending money. Their presence should have been enough of a gift especially as it was abroad. They obviously care enough about you to do all that to be there for you on your day.
If their wedding isn't abroad you should give a gift, these people are your friends and it comes across petty saying your not giving a gift cause they didn't.
If their wedding is abroad then don't give one as you like they did will spend money on all the above.

-Not relating to your post but posts in general about getting presents, its quite sad how grown adults get upset/pissed off about not getting presents. I would always give one but I'm not bothered if people don't give us one.
Enjoy your day and enjoy your friends and family, everything else is inconsequential! :heartbeat:

New Wolly
Posts: 80

Re: Non gifters?

Postby PixieH » Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:28 am

Hi Smallensmall,

Just another perspective on this subject. People don't always give gifts straight away. We got married over 3 months ago and received a gift last week and also another one this morning in the post. I guess not everyone can afford a gift and attend a wedding at the same time so will leave it a few weeks/months. I prefer to give it on the day and have it done but that's just me :)

Major Wolly
Posts: 574

Re: Non gifters?

Postby CasualBride » Fri Nov 11, 2016 5:30 pm

Hi Smallensmall,
I agree with both the previous 2 posts; I would maybe give less than usual, or give an actual gift instead of money, as that's bound to be less expensive?
I got married a few months ago and a few people have said "oh God, I must call into you, I have your card" - whether that's true or not, I don't know, and I don't mind.. we all know weddings are expensive, so I don't mind if people don't give us anything, but I think if I was in your shoes, I would just feel like I was playing tit-for-tat and would be embarrassed if I didn't give them anything, so I would go and get them something like a personalised piece of artwork to commemorate the day or something - you know these things with the couples' names etched onto something .. we got a few and they're nice to have.

Inline - Algarve WP
Mini Wolly
Posts: 153

Re: Non gifters?

Postby 20thMay2017 » Fri Nov 11, 2016 6:02 pm

I would definitely give something especially since they made the effort to go to yours. And other posters are right you might still get something from them, they could plan to give something after their own wedding when they are out of the saving buzz...

New Wolly
Posts: 71

Re: Non gifters?

Postby Mrs-C-to-be » Sun Nov 13, 2016 7:07 pm

Yeah definitely give something. They came abroad for your wedding, and while I have done this for a few weddings and still given a gift, many people feel the expense incurred to them to go to a wedding abroad replaces the need for a gift. In general though, regardless of who gave us a gift and who didn't, I would always rather do what I always do (ie give a gift).


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