Not invited(Advice)

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MOKAN Posts: 35
My Aunty got engaged a few months before me and decided to have her wedding abroad in Sept this year so very quick organisation needed. I got engaged a few months later and decided to have my wedding in Sept 2008. She started to organise everything by text through my Dad(her brother,(flights and location etc) before she sent out the invites. She had never text me or my sisters so I asked my Dad where we invited, he was sure we where as we had gone to there engagemnt party and they where discusssing there exciting plans with us. Anyway he called her to make sure and she said no, none of the Children where invited of her brothers and sisters . There is 4 years between us and my H2B is the same age as her. There are 6 adults grandkids 3 out of that are my are my brothers and sisters, so I feel it's personal. She knew that she would be invited to my wedding so I'm fuming. I'm having it here and there is approx 140 people. My Dad was quite annoyed at her so she told my Dad if there was any regrets she could see what she could do for us if we really wanted to go. As far as I'm concerned she has cut her ties from me over this. I wouldn't mind too much if it was a small wedding but there is over 100 people going. The problem is my Dad is paying for my reception so don't want to tell him his sister can't go. Any advice, should I just bite my tongue and invite her???
contented Posts: 2625
hi i'd be the bigger person here and invite her. fine its a family wedding and you're upset / annoyed at not being asked but let her off if thats what she's like. i was at a cousins wedding two years ago and at the end of the night he came up to me and said that i was a very special guest cos he only asked me because his dad made him!!!!! i wouldnt let this bother you - age difference or not - she might only want all "adults" at her day with no "children" which obviously ye aren't i just wouldnt give her the satisfaction of not asking her - dont give her an inch.
Mrs áthas Posts: 3488
I am trying to word this delicately. We all make decisions about our guest lists. For some of us the line in the sand is Neighbours, for some it is ‘kids’, for others it is no cousins. Surely in regard to your own guestlist you have made decisions. I think that you need to be aware that they are probably paying for their own day and possibly have numbers restrictions. Their line in the sand was obviously her nieces and nephews. Perhaps her H2B has 14 of them and they felt it was unfair to invite some and not others. With this in mind, I would not ‘uninvite’ them to your day to make a point. I know you are offended, but I am sure that the bride and groom have lost sleep over who to invite/not invite, as we all do and you should respect that.
strawberry shortcake Posts: 9094
i can kind of see what mrs.athas is on about you decide who to invite and not invite but if you are paying for your own flights etc i dont see why she didnt invite you. if she was paying then i would say well ok bit too much for her to fork out. be the bigger person here and invite her to your wedding, your dad might have a different view after this happening, sure you can always sit her near the toilet :o0 :o0 :o0
Grace Ann Posts: 2464
[quote:3aehxyid]sure you can always sit her near the toilet [/quote:3aehxyid] :o0 or the most boring guest you can think of!
MOKAN Posts: 35
I understand where everyone is coming from, but I think I should go into more detail here at why I'm so annoyed. Money is not an object here. Her mother died last year(my grandmother) and left her a lump sum. My mother died the year before so I think we should be trying to strengthen family ties.
pluto Posts: 3893
I agree wtih Mrs Athas. We got married abroad, and even though people were paying for their own flights, accommodation, etc. we still had to have that line in the sand (loving that expression seeing as wedding was abroad!). We still had to pay per head, and numbers can get out of hand. It's very hard to know where to stop. Sometimes the guest list is harder when it's abroad as its smaller, and a lot of people go abroad to cut down on cost. I found that people thought they could just invite themselves. :ooh They felt if they were willing to take on the expense of travelling then they should automatically be invited. But like here, the wedding is a cost per head, and all brides and grooms have their limit. I'm sure she'd love you to be there, just like I would have loved certain people to come but you have to draw the line somewhere. Don't hold it against her at all. When you're doing your own invites, you'll probably see where she was coming from. :thnk
Grace Ann Posts: 2464
maybe she just doesnt want to show favouritism towards some cousins, it may annoy you by not being invited but she could annoy ALL her cousins by inviting you and not inviting them if you know what I mean.
mila Posts: 698
Her day, her way - your day, your way. Try not to take it personally. If you want her at your wedding, invite her. I wouldn't solicit an invitation to hers, though - she's obviously made her decisions for whatever reason.