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not planning yet, thought i was pg, but not, why so sad?

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december Posts: 1141
hiya, I just wanted to see if anybody else has experienced what I went through yesterday, and if you did, if you have any advice. I am on the pill, and we are not planning on starting a family for a year or so, but both of us really want children. We also use condoms as contraception. I was on my 7-day break during the week from my pill (Dianette), and I got all the symptoms of my period (tiredness, swollen tummy) but no period. I was due to go back onto my pill today, but still had no period. Because I know that you should not go back onto your pill if there is a chance that you could possibily be pregnant (and knowing that most pregnancies are unplanned blessings when people are using contraception), I bought a pregnancy test yesterday. It was negative. The logical side of my brain had expected this, but as much as I tried to not think about being possibly pregnant, my mind started to run away with itself about how I would rearrange my plans, where would the cot go, when would we tell our families, etc. Hubby knew about all this going on. Unfortunately, this has happened to me 2 or 3 times before. He was saying that he didn't think that I was pregnant, but if I was, he would be so happy. Even though I expected a negative result, we were both really upset yesterday. We were both in the dumps all day, crying about it sometimes, but definitely very upset and close to tears the times we werent trying. Hubby said he felt it so much more this time because obviously now we are married we are a little bit more settled than the times this has happened in the past, but also he understood how much plans my mind was making in a few minutes with me trying not to get excited, cos he did the same, planning where the cot would go, which room would we convert into the nursery, what would we do with the furniture already in there, would we convert the attic, etc Anyway, I can see that obviously I wasn't meant to be pregnant just yet, and I am sure that our time will come in a few years when we are more established, but I just hate that my body puts me through this dilemna every 14 months or so. Has anybody else been through this emotional rollercoaster? Can you understand? Sorry if the post is a bit long or all over the place, but I feel so confused because I was devastated over not being pregnant when we weren't trying for a baby and it wasn't likely that I was pregnant anyway.
MTMR Posts: 788
Maybe it's a sign that you are ready to start trying sooner rther than later...have you and DH discussed you coming off the pill at this stage and maybe using just condoms until you are sure, that way you will be at last preparing your body. It's very disheartening, I know but if chilren is what you want thn why are you not trying yet? There is no prefect time to have children, we had our first when we had only started working and we're not exactly very well off. we survived and now no.3 is en route, again it'll mean making sacrifices but I think they are worth it. You should sit down and discuss what you want to do and then do it.
MrsCranberry Posts: 297
Totally natural reaction, I think. I've had scares in the past and always felt a pang of regret even though I definitely didn't want kids then. I had a mad pain in my side recently, which I had for about 2 weeks. I went to the doc and as procedure and given I'm off the pill (but not ttc yet) he did a pregnancy test. Now, I'd just had my period and we've been very careful so I knew there was no chance but when the doc said I wasn't, I still felt really sad. I couldn't get it out of my head all the next day and I kept thinking how would I have felt if he had said I was. Or how I would feel if I was waiting for real to find out. (Pain in my side, by the way, was ovulation! Morto! :oops: It was effectively my first proper cycle in 8 years and that's why it hurt! Madness. Felt like such a twat) Its been a bugbear of mine for a while now that usually in pharmacies, the sanitary towels and the like are always right beside the pregnancy tests. I mean, a lot of the time you are either hoping for one or the other and it annoys me. But then maybe I'm a bit bonkers! :lol: Seriously though, if you both felt like that on the negative test, then you really need to talk it out and decide what you want. We make plans and God laughs - if its something you both want you should seriously think of going for it. You will need to be off the Pill a little while anyway and get your Folic Acid in and the likes so you'll have some breathing space.
december Posts: 1141
It did make me think about changing our plans, but unfortunately I am tied up in training for work/college for about another 18 months, and I know that if I was qualified it would make it easier to provide for a baby, and I would be in a better place to take time off to be with junior. MTMR, hubby and I have said that we'll think about it again in September. At the moment, he's just happy spending time with me, and I have to say that I am enjoying just having some time to ourselves. I think what made it all the more emotional was that a family friend died a few months ago, and at the funeral, everybody was commenting on the fact that it was so sad that he and his wife were only newlyweds with their whole lives ahead of them, and now they wouldn't have the opportunity to grow old together, and they hadn't had the opportunity of starting a family. I agree with you Mrs Cranberry that it seems insensitive to lump everything together like that. I suppose it doesn't help (as regards getting emotional) that when you are doing a pregnancy test, it is usually because your period is due, so obviously the hormones are racing as it is. I still think it's a little bit cruel though that our bodies put us through these tests!
MTMR Posts: 788
You're right to wait, if you feel that's your best action. Ejoy the practice between now & September!!!!! Good luck when you do start for real.
december Posts: 1141
Thanks very much. I just hope that in the meantime my periods actually regulate, because I have had to go through this too many times now, and I always end up feeling the same shitty way - even in the past when our situation wasn't even as good as it is now!
boobtube Posts: 307
ah decemberbride :roll: I know how you felt and it's a totally natural reaction xx Make sure you have lots of fun trying in September honey........... That's the best part xxx Maybe you are ready that's good and a positive thing. No harm that it's just not the exact right time but ............. September is really not that far away :wink: :wink: :wink: Hope you regulate soon because there is nothing as annoying I know... Don't be too hard on yourself girl either
december Posts: 1141
thanks boobtube! women, eh?
boobtube Posts: 307
:roll: lol :wink: :wink:
december Posts: 1141
And i just noticed the quote under your ticker - very appropriate for my current situation! :wink:
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