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Not sure what to think here ….

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Evie G
New Wolly
 
Posts: 8

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby Evie G » Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:53 am

Maybe she does fancy him and that's fine, its a free country.

But in my day when you fancied somebody you would go out of your way to be nice to them, nearly finding ways to make contact them, and certainly not leave them out of things ... wouldn't that be an obvious way to be in contact ?
Yet he claims she doesn't contact him. Said he hates her ... called her a dunce and a number of other names which I wont mention!

On a another note ... I am very complimentary to him all the time. He has often said to me that nobody ever said the nice things to him that I have ... but during a disagreement one time, he did say to me that he gets "ass loads" of messages on fb etc..

Christ as I write this down ... it sounds bloody bizarre. Is he telling me all this to keep me on my toes or something. Do all men go on like that.

Help ..... !

whereland
Mini Wolly
 
Posts: 472

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby whereland » Thu Sep 28, 2017 12:22 pm

No all men don't go on like this. It's very bizarre.
I think he might be telling you the opposite of what's gone on. I wouldn't be surprised if there had been contact between them. And calling her names is just very childish, like he's trying really hard to convince u he hates her. It just doesn't make sense. And if something doesn't make sense there is usually a reason why.

CasualBride
Major Wolly
 
Posts: 570

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby CasualBride » Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:40 pm

Yeah, Evie I second what whereland said.. all men don't go on like that, but a lot of immature ones do - what age is your bf?

When I was first with my hubby, he used to try to make me jealous sometimes with stories of all the women he'd been with, and how there were some that'd take him back in the morning - obviously it was insecurity but of course I always just believed that he was telling the truth - because why would anyone lie about such trivial crap!! - but I didn't give a sh*t, I was long enough in the tooth that I wasn't about to get jealous that he wasn't a pure virgin when I met him!!
But a situation like you're describing is a bit strange.. it's hard to see what his motives are, but it definitely does all seem a bit weird and suspicious to be honest.
Even if he is totally innocent, he's not helping matters by, as you said, contradicting himself in saying he gets no female attention and then changing the story to "ass loads of comments" when he's in a mood.

Ang1e
New Wolly
 
Posts: 80

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby Ang1e » Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:34 pm

Hiya, it is difficult to determine who is telling the truth as it seem to be a lot of 'he said,... she said' sort of situation. Take a step back and take a breath. You did mention that you have known each other for a year now and have met each other's family and friends out of work and from the sound of it, there was nothing amiss there and it seem to be all surrounding work and a few colleagues with the bullying allegations.

There are always 2 sides to a story and you might never get both sides of the story but I think it is worth having an honest conversation with him to hear his side of what happened that led to the allegations. (rather than him dismissing it by saying his colleague probably fancies him). Be patient, open and don't accuse him of anything, let him do the talking.

It does seem that there is a divide between his colleagues and in an ironic way, the person that was alleged bullied by your partner seem to be doing some bullying of her own by acting in this manner. The fact that his patient work colleague trusted him to let confide in him about the stalker issue and her illness sorts of show that he is respected and trusted by his other colleagues?

Hope everything works out .

LauraAdams.77
New Wolly
 
Posts: 18

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby LauraAdams.77 » Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:37 pm

it seems like there are things you don't know about

Anne_K14
New Wolly
 
Posts: 55

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby Anne_K14 » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:18 am

I find this whole thing very strange. I have not met a grown men who goes on about work people ' fancying him' never mind someone who is in a relationship. Or who has work people so involved texting and ringing him. It all sounds a bit immature. In my workplace I would only ever text my boss if I wasn't going to be in or was running late. I don't see any other reason to text him and we get on very well. Maybe your boyfriend needs to get a new job or take a step back and separate out his work and personal life as the whole dynamic in that office on both your boyfriend and the girls he works with part sounds very petty and immature.

John Walsh Guitar
Evie G
New Wolly
 
Posts: 8

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby Evie G » Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:48 pm

Soooooo I haven't brought it up again, but he did the other day. I basically said that none of the story makes sense at all and its totally bizarre.
I said maybe that girl does fancy you (I actually don't care if she does or she doesn't) but her actions of slating you and excluding you from gifts says otherwise. And why would they care whether you are single or not ...
Apparently during this "is he single conversation" one of the girls turned and said that the night we were all at the wedding, he was holding my hand and that he gave me a kiss on the cheek..... and then she said that he was probably doing that to make her jealous! This girl has a partner and they have a child together .... why in Gods name would he be trying to make her jealous.

I said to him that doesn't make any sense, why would she that, he said he didn't understand it himself... !!

Lads have I fool written all over me ... what is going on here !!??

whereland
Mini Wolly
 
Posts: 472

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby whereland » Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 pm

It sounds like there's some history between them or something happened between them. Otherwise he wouldn't be so involved in what she says/thinks about him. Sorry

CasualBride
Major Wolly
 
Posts: 570

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby CasualBride » Wed Oct 04, 2017 9:18 am

I think the biggest problem here is that you have no idea what this girl is like - she could be off her rocker, totally delusional about men fancying her left, right and centre... OR ... she could be a really honest person who your boyfriend is now trying to discredit because he's worried about something coming to light.

It's impossible for any of us - including you - to have enough insight to know if what he's saying about her is accurate, we don't know her, so we can only think about how WE would be acting if we were in that situation - and so because I'm sitting here thinking "ah come on, what kind of grown woman would actually say "oh I bet he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek to make me jealous"? it sounds to me, based on my own way of thinking, that it's utter bullsh1t...
I cannot imagine any adult thinking that kissing someone on the CHEEK is sufficient to invoke jealousy, so why would you embarrass yourself by saying it out loud to your work buddies?? Come on like???

So I'm back to my first point, either she is daft as a brush, or your boyfriend is clutching at straws.

Rasberry
New Wolly
 
Posts: 57

Re: Not sure what to think here ….

Postby Rasberry » Fri Oct 20, 2017 1:06 pm

Sounds to me more like he is the one that might have been rejected ....
Just cause she was in a ralationship when you met him means nothing


and why is your work life coming into your private life...
are these actual friends of him rather than work colleagues...you seem to know an awful lot about these girls

It all sound very personnel where he works....there is obviously some form of history here.....

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