Off Topic - dilemma with sister

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notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Hi Girls, sorry off topic but hoping you can help. Its my mothers 60th birthday on Friday and im booking a meal for myself and DH, my sis and her DH, and my parents (6 of us) for Friday. My Mam doesnt like a fuss so i thought this would be best. I rang my sis today to ask her about it, im sorry to say but she is useless and if i didnt organise it she would do nothing. Apart from her and her DH we dont like to eat late, so i want to book the table for 7.30. She has to ask her MIL to babysit her 18 month old but she said even if she does she will have to have him in bed bofore her MIL comes over as MIL wont be able to get him asleep. Anyway because of this she wants me to book the table for 9pm as he DS goes to bed about 8.15. Im sorry i rang to ask her now at all, i should just have booked it and told her the time cos this is the usual crap with her. She wont organise anything and when i try to its never right and we always have to plan around her and her son. What should i do, i have a good mind to book the table for 7.30 and say i coldnt get another time. She will freak, get thick with me and may not even go but i know Mam will hate it if the meal is at 9pm and so will i cos we never eat that late. O:|
Baby Tigger Posts: 3394
Hey NLTG. Leave the booking for 7.30. Can she not go out and let her husband get the baby to sleep? At the end of the day it's your Mam's birthday so ye should be doing whatever suits her. I would leave it and suggest that she gets her hubby to put the child to bed. Sorry if that is of no help but that is what I would suggest. HTH.
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Thanks BT, i was so sorry i even rang her, i had a headache after it. I want to do what my Mam wants and she would prefer and early meal and then a few drinks, but my sis can be very selfish when she wants and expects us all to pick a time that suits her. I think ill take your advice and book for 7.30 and she can get her DH to put him to bed and come out later, she will be in a strop but sure what can i do. Thanks for replying. :thnk
sunshiniest Posts: 303
HI Not long to go, I have to say I agree with Baby Tigger! I know peoples lives change when they have babies but we can't expect the world and our families to start revolving around our us and our baby's schedule. (off the point I find it amazing the number of my siblings who will change their baby's supposedly 'rigid schedule' when it suits their purpose) Its your Mum's birthday (the same person who missed plenty of social events parenting you) and IMO if you're sister can't see that she needs to be more flexible and fit in with your mother's wishes then she's being quite self-centred.
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
DH came up with a solution, book it for 7pm then she can pop home after the meal. put him to bed and come back out. So hopefully that will work. O-O
Avril Hiswife Posts: 1743
Your sister is being unreasonable. The worst she has to worry about is her MIL having trouble getting the little one to sleep. Pandering to her could ruin your mother's 60th for her so don't. But the trick is in managing her so she does not feel hard done by. That probably requires more diplomacy than I could muster! Edit to add - I don't think lying about the booking is a good idea. You might find there is hardly anyone else there when you are leaving and be left facing daggers from your sis!
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Thanks girls. :thnk I love my sis but she is very difficult to deal with and i find it harder cos im the only one who tells her to cop on and stands up to her. Im going to go with the 7pm booking and she can go home and put him to bed after the meal and then come back. She does think the world revolves around her cos she is the one with the child but she cant surely be the only one who can put him to bed, he is 18 months old! I wouldnt mind but she never organises anything for our parents and when i do its never right for her.
newyearbabs Posts: 686
[quote="sunshiniest":1rp2lchx] Its your Mum's birthday (the same person who missed plenty of social events parenting you) and IMO if you're sister can't see that she needs to be more flexible and fit in with your mother's wishes then she's being quite self-centred.[/quote:1rp2lchx] Totally agree, sisters grrrh >:o(
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Oh girls my head i wrecked with her. I rang my Mam to see if 7pm suited her and she was delighted said she was really looking forward to it. So i rang sis and told her the plan. Meal at 7 she pop home at 8.15 put him to bed and back out (she lives less than 2 miles from restaurant). She said no way that was too much messing about, forget about it she wasnt doing it. I said Mam was really looking forward to it and it was the least she could do as Mam calls out to her everyday, and babysits about every third weekend so she can go out. She said id understand when i had my own child that they ALWAYS (her emphasis) come first and she hung up on me. O:| O:| O:| So im booking it anyway and if she is there fine if not flip her. God me blood pressure is through the roof.
Avril Hiswife Posts: 1743
[quote="NotLongToGo":3k2nvuac] She said id understand when i had my own child that they ALWAYS (her emphasis) come first and she hung up on me. O:| O:| O:| [/quote:3k2nvuac] That is crazy. Children cannot and definitely [b:3k2nvuac]should not[/b:3k2nvuac] always come first. Parents have other obligations and enjoyments that also have to be fulfilled and besides it would not do the child any good. At some stage she will have to let someone else put her boy to bed. Edit - you are doing the right thing I think by going ahead with the booking. Your sister is being a brat but there is not a lot you can do about that. Try not to fall out with her and maybe suggest she joins you after the meal anyway. Is there anyone else in the family you could invite along to make your Mam's 60th more of an occasion? Does she have sisters/brothers/best friends etc?