I really need a rant, im extremely pissed off and so is h2b and I don't blame him.
Just off the phone to my mother and was saying that im heading away for the weekend with my friend. Straight away my mothers on a rant at me that I should be getting my priorities straight and saving for the wedding instead of wasting money on weekends away. I think the last time I went anywhere was last summer with h2b. So its not as if im off somewhere every weekend or anything like that, Im lucky to get out once or twice a month if me and h2b have the money.
Anyway mother asks who's minding dd while im gone for the 2days and I said h2b obviously(h2b isn't dd biological dad but he's the only dad she's ever known, don't have any contact with her bio dad)
H2b is fantastic with her loves her as his own. Anyway when I said to my mother that h2b is minding her she said she'd prefer if dd went out to stay with her for the weekend because she doesn't think h2b would mind her properly
She's well out of order IMO. It sounds like you well deserve the break and please make sure you enjoy it! Also your OH sounds great and it is such an old fashioned view (and reason why many women are still stuck with all the childcare) to insinuate that men can't be trusted to care for child on their own.
I'd give your mother space and not contact her and when she does ring you be cool and explain you think she was well out of order and she should apologise. You are an adult and how you conduct your affairs is your business and she should have a bit more respect for your choices.
[quote="lorsteph87":1y35f72w]Anyway when I said to my mother that h2b is minding her she said she'd prefer if dd went out to stay with her for the weekend because she doesn't think h2b would mind her properly
I can understand you being mad at her, but I would also be concerned to think that my mother would think this of H2B. I would ask her face to face, why does she not think that he can mind DD, get her to explain herself, as in what way woudl he not look after her properly, food, clothes, heat etc etc. I know that its really none of her business but you are getting married and your H2b is going to be your daughters father. Your mother needs to understand this.
If I was your H2B i would be so insulted I wouldn't want her at the wedding. Regarding the going away for the weekend, we do plenty we dont tell my parents, particularly when it comes to spending money. I dont really feel its their business.
Best of luck with this. I do think it needs more of a probe, your mother needs to accept that h2b is plenty capable of looking after 'his daughter'
Lorsteph87, you have a serious problem on your hands if your mother really thinks thats your H2B isnt capable of minding your child. She may have just said it to get at you for going away for the weekend..... But you need to have a serious chat with her and make her understand that your H2B will be your child's father and thats how its going to be, your getting married for gods sake!
As for her commenting on your going away, its none of her business - if I had a euro for everytime my mother said "I thought you had no money" when I tell her Im doing things, Id be rich and having a swanky wedding!!!! I never asked my parents for money for anything since I left home, so Im more than capable of budgeting the odd meal or night out for god sake