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Ohhh get an effing life!!!

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Jawl Posts: 8881
H2b's ex wife had 3 kids when they married. That was in England. They weren't married long, but one of the daughters had a baby in that time, and used to use h2b for babysitting cos he's a bit of a soft touch like that, so they ended up staying in touch. Anyway, there was a huge falling out that happened in January. Won't go into it now, but basically she's a bit of a grabbing bitch, (32 years old, 14 year old kid and never worked one single day in her life) and treated h2b like a bank machine. I know her well, met her and stayed with her in London etc. I've seen how she is with other people. Wanting her and her kid to be EVERYBODY'S #1 priority. She made it into a situation where she was trying to make things so that h2b would be forced to make a choice between favouring me or them. When there was no need for him ever to make a choice. I wouldn't be that childish. She was due to come over for the wedding, wanted her and her kids flights paid for and 5 nights in a city hotel. And I doubt she'd have had any spends. WHen we went there, she let us fork out for everything. Her line was 'he's my step dad, he should' :eek H2b asked her to go for a paper one day and she asked him for the money for it! :eek Anyway she wanted her daughter to spend the whole of the morning of the wedding with h2b as he's known her since birth so was therefore the most important female in his life, and was insisting on it. These are the silly fecking games she was playing. :eek She never treated h2b like a step dad. He was only her 'stepdad' when she wanted something or it came down to money. The fcuking spiteful bitch e.mailed h2b a couple of days ago and attached a photo of her, her spawn and her biological dad. Who fits her in one day a year, and takes her and the kids out to Nandos for dinner a week before Xmas. He's too busy with his new family to see her at actual Xmas. And you know what, with her recent behaviour, I can see exactly why he doesn't bother!!! And the caption under the photo read "The best Dad and Grandad a girl could wish for". Bear in mind mid Jan she told h2b seeing as he had chosen me (he didn't!!) over them he could fcuk off and she would think about being there for him after I was long gone after fleecing him for every penny and moved onto my next victim :o0 I'm torn between wanting to rip her head off and give her a kick between the legs, or just pitying her for being so spiteful that she drove al her friends and family away and now has such a sad and empty life, that she's got nothing better to do than be this horrible. He thinks it's lucky he's seen through her before it was too late and that's he's better off completely out of their lives if that's how they are. But damn it must have hurt him too. As even though they never did anything for him or treaed him like a step dad, he was good to them. Financially and emotionally. Tit!!!!!!!!!
Jawl Posts: 8881
P.S. We haven't spoken to her since mid Jan when this all happened. She's sent a few downright nasty e.mails/texts to me. But I've blocked her now, and she's also blocked on Facebook. She was posting a lot of sh ite on my wall, for all my family friends to see. So all contact is cut and there is NO reason for her to e.mail what she did.
GreenerPastures Posts: 7284
She sounds awful... I would be like yourself and torn between feeling sorry for her and disliking her. Your H2B just has to realise that she doesn't see him as a stepdad, just a meal ticket and emotional punching bag. As hard as it is for him to accept he really needs to cut her off. She is now going to be part of your life and I can see how her attitude to you and him is soul destroying. She sounds like she never had a solid family and her mother doesn't support her. Her dad is a grade a**hole who wasn't there for her and wasn't a real dad but she's over-compensating whenever they do spend any time together. She's bitter and humiliated; even as an adult I'm sure she feels hurt and why wasn't she good enough for him. I can't imagine feeling so rejected by my own parents. No wonder she has issues and treats people so badly. The people that she was meant to be able to rely on 110% let her down big time. But he can't keep trying to make up for wrong doing on the part of her parents. She is damaged and needs help, imo. I'd tell him to move on. This isn't an equal relationship, just toxic. If she sees sense some day he can welcome her back but for now it's useless. :action32
Jawl Posts: 8881
Dodders, she told him he was out of her life since January, and when he saw how she treated us both, he said he knew what she was like, but didn't think she'd ever direct it at him. So he's put her out of his mind, not that easy, but he's moving on and realises it was toxic. Mind you, she told me I was depriving her daugher of birthday/xmas money now, that h2b used to send for them both. No mention of missing him, just the money! >:o( So he knows what it boils down to.
Jawl Posts: 8881
Also Dodders, 2 months after the initial argument kicked off, I sent her an e.mail with an olive branch and was told where to shove it! :o0 The ironic thing is, I never liked them, but made an effort for h2b's sake. And ended up getting on quite well with her in the end, she was going to be a BM at the wedding. So no need for her to be the way she was in the end. But now they're gone out of his life, and it was nothing whatsoever to do with me.
GreenerPastures Posts: 7284
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Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
Oh my god, what an aul bag she is!!!! I know what you mean, sometimes you cant help but feel sorry for someone who is just spirialling into a pit of self-destruction!!! Well done you for not resorting to retaliation and being the bigger person. Your h2b is very lucky to have someone as patient as you and your H2B sounds lovely himself for putting up with all that stuff but now I'm thinking (and Im guessing he's thinking the same), a bit of distance needs to be made. I know he's know the 14year old since she was born, but if she's going down the same road as her mam, she needs to be put in her place, even if its just in the form of distance. Sorry this has happend to you, your such a lovely person. Dont let them fudgers get you down. And if they ever come knocking on your door for a fight, I'll hold your earrings!! ;o)
Jawl Posts: 8881
Ah cheers Dub Angel! :o0 The daughter is 14, and extremely rude. I've never met such a sullen teen, to the point of being rude. I know some teen are awkward, or they stay quiet, but not to the point of rudeness. I stayed in their home when we went over to visit last year, and she was left alone in the living room with me. H2b was gone for a pint with his mate, and her mother was after bringing the dog out. I tried to initiate a conversation with her, she half heartedly nodded, and then got up, walked out and I heard her bedroom door slam shut. Next day h2b took herself and her best friend bowling while me and the mother went shopping. We were out for about 5 hours in all, and she had what she wanted all day, bowling, shopping, things bought for her and taken out for a meal. She was all smiles and laughs and jokes all day, because things were going her way. We ended up in a pub for a meal, and at 7.30 her friend was collected and taken home. We decided to stay til 9 with her, and have a drink. But she scowled and was so sullen we ended up having to go home early. H2b was offering her coke, crisps, sweets trying to humour her and she'd just shake her head and shoot him a filthy look. The next time we got a smile out of her was next day when her mother pointed out a nice jacket in a shop in town, and h2b bought it for her. Other than that, she didn't want to know him. But it's because she's learning from her mother. Just use people for what you can get out of them, after that do what ever the hell you want, you don't even have to be nice to them! >:o( Yeah, he's said the same, he's not doing this for another 20 years supporting them both. Stepping away he feels is the best thing he's ever done. Fathers Day is coming up next month, and they usually sent him a card for that, because the next month is their birthdays, so it's like a little reminder, soften him up etc. I don't think he's on the father's day card list this year though :o0 But after her little trick last week, well I wouldn't be suprised if he got something done to him on the day, but not very nice. :eek
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