I'm having a bit of a fed up day today - been TTC for 9 months now and nothing - finishing up my contract in work in July and I'll be looking for a new job - but hey going on holidays in June so that's something to look forward to..
..but at the back of my mind there has been a bubble boiling, and its annoying me more and more, my oldest friends, one who was my matron of honour, my neighbour (well up the road, but she passes my house every day to visit her homeplace) has never called in to visit me in my new house - its not even new any more we'll be in it 2 years this June bank holiday weekend - my matron of honour called in when the house was being built, no stairs or anything in the house at the time - but since its been built neither have called in to see it - its not a mansion or anything its a bloody dormer, with a granny flat for my mother (I inherited my home place and we rebuilt with a granny flat for my elderly mam so I could take care of her - actually that sounds a bigger deal than it is) - but the point is I don’t think I am rubbing the house it anyone’s face, we have it finished as nice as we could and we're very proud of it - but its a converted cottage, and there no fancy design or furniture or in your face stuff - not that they would know
I have met both out at difference times for drinks and dinners and I am fed up asking them to pop in - and I have to be honest I haven't been meeting up with either them as much is the last year or so because of it, and now its coming up to the 2nd anniversary it has really hit me and I don’t want to talk to either of them now - I know I should just ask them, but I feel pathetic asking them why they haven’t called in – I have had other friends visit from all over the country, staying over etc, but the two closest ones haven’t bothered –
my matron of honour is building her own house at the moment, and I know there was a delay in starting it, so I though that was one of the reason why she hadn’t called in, so we’ll see – my other friend moved into her boyfriends house last year, and I’ll be honest I haven’t called in to visit her yet, A because I haven’t a clue where it is, well I have a rough idea but not the house number or anything, and B because I am getting petty over the whole thing and am not going to call in until she visits me first, imagine her mam called in to visit when we moved in
I know I am sounding petty now – but I just wanted a rant to get things off my chest
Apart from asking them to call in have you tried to arrange specific nights in, like a dinner party or general party where they would come over not to see the house but to see you and to spend time together and it wouldnt be just about seeing the house?
I live in my house 7yrs this year and one of my oldest and best friends, my CBM, has been here ONCE.
She's passed my house to go shopping, go to the park etc and never drops in.
Another friend used to call into my mams to meet me......even though her job was nearer my house than my mams.
She knew roughly when I'd be in mam's so would drop in.
She missed me a couple of times and texted me why wasn't i in mam's? Eh.....cos I don't live there! Doh!
Given up trying to understand it.....
I have friends who say visit whenever but unless they give me a specific time and date I rarely do.
There's just always a distraction of some sort unless you have an actual plan.
I totally get what your saying - we were about 4 months in ours before one of my brothers came to visit!!
When ever any of my friends built there houses or bought a house I was always trying to arrange to call and see it, now mind you some of them didnt make it easy and I think its only manners that they should invite you over but with some of them I had to invite myself IYKWIM!!
BTW your entitled to have a nice house without people thinking you are rubbing it in their faces! 2 years is along time to be in your house without them ever calling - that seems strange! I would ask them why they havent called though!
2 years is a long time...just let it go dont think they are real friends if they dont bother
Same thing happening to me... although wer only in our new house just ovet two months its really getting to as to why my best friend hasnt called over. ive invited her several times as we havent even seen each other since my wedding but shes always busy with someting either working or with her husband that just sits at home all day. and now she has just moved into her new house this week aswell and has invited me over...but she should be coming here first as i moved in more than 2 months ago
I'm not great for actually inviting people over to be fair. Neither of us (me or DH) are great at throwing parties and we've been in the house 5 years and never had one. No house warming, birthday parties etc. I think even close friends like to be invited, even if that might seem formal. It's nice to maybe get invited for drinks or dinner. Try that and if she blows you off then I'd worry. Some people forget that eventhough they see you in other situations it's nice to make an effort and actually just have chilled out evening at your home aswell.
[quote="Mrs Dodders "] I think even close friends like to be invited, even if that might seem formal. It's nice to maybe get invited for drinks or dinner.[quote]
I agree, i dont think it's very fair to hold it against people for not 'popping in' when you've never formally invited them around for drinks or dinner or a party etc. People can feel awkard just popping into someone elses house, i know i do (apart from family). I almost feel like i'm invading someones privacy or taking up thier time when they have a million and one things to do during the day. But I love going to house parties and to someones house for a night out, its much more relaxed.
I agree I would never just pop in either would always ring or text a day or 2 in advance but the OP said she was fed up asking them to pop in so that to me is an invitation! Its up to the friends to then say "Oh will you be home later I was going to call for a visit".
God my friend has been the same! Although she has called, its prob been 5 times, in 2 and a half years........
Im sick to death of making the effort with her.
She has no money to go out for her birthday and i said ah well we cant just let it pass so ill arrange drinks in mine if she wants, and no f ccking reply