omg...its such a long week....

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mad woman Posts: 22106
this day is dragging, cannot believe its only 12:20pm, my head is melted, anyone got any good christmas jokes???
The Bride Posts: 686
Two snowmen in a pub. One says to the other, "do you smell carrots?"
Strawberry Posts: 148
got this as a text yesterday- was a bit worried for a minute "Listen don't ring me after I tell you this, it's not something I want to talk about on the phone. We'll talk about it later, I want to be the one to tell you, I don't want you to hear this from someone else. I know you're going to be upset but I'm sure we can work through it.... There's no Santa " Try texting it to your other will give them a fright for a minute!!
mad woman Posts: 22106
yeah strawberry, I sent that one to my bro there last week, when I recieved it from my friend i thought to myself "what the f**k" did I do, funny.. okay here is one which I recieved yesterday "a recent scientific study found that women find male face's attaractive depending where they are in their cycle. Women ovulating prefer rugged masculine features and when menstruating prefer a man doused in petrol, set on fire, with sissors, stuck in his eyes and a hurley rammed up his ass"
mad woman Posts: 22106
"imagine if all major retails started making their own condoms and kept their tag line....tesco condoms, every little helps, nike condoms..just do it, peugeot condoms..for the ride of your life..KFC Condoms - finger licking good..ever ready condoms...keep going and going and going, Pringles condoms - once you pop you cant stop, burger king....home of the the wopper.....andrex...soft ,strong and very long and finally -polo condoms..the one with the hole"
Mrs. Ally Posts: 298
Excellent jokes mrsb2baug05 as usual!!!!!!!LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:
Fio Posts: 812
just got this e-mail thought i would share A three year old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked "are these my brains?" ...."Not yet" his Mother replied
mad woman Posts: 22106
brilliant fio!!! mrs ally - glad you like them, must txt them to you.. right another "one night a man rolls over in bed giving his wife a big grin. "not tonight hun I gotta a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow.I want to be fresh and clean", she says. The man rolls over feeling rejected and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls over again and asks her "Do you have a Dental Appointment too...?"
mad woman Posts: 22106
anyone got any others