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BuzzyBee92 Posts: 142
*screams internally* Just looked over the numbers again and seems I have gone over budget....wedding is in 4 weeks so no where I can really cut back now. All these little things piling up now and it's my parents who have added them....you need more flowers in the church, feed the people more, oh you need this and this it'll make life easier...ect Probably won't regret the extra things the day of the wedding but right now I want to punch a wall...this means no beautiful tower of donuts for me :'( Doesn't help that I feel like a failure and I'm in a bad mood (I don't want to say depression because that term is thrown around too much, but it's heading for that direction in I don't reign it in) head is not right for figures. Life is just a bit crap and the moment even with my wedding looming nearer, not able for these small hiccups at the moment. Thank goodness for my credit Union savings...although not sure do I just take a withdrawal or make a small loan for credit rating. Anyone else loosing track of the finances? or just me?
20thMay2017 Posts: 153
Awh BuzzyBee, I really feel for you. That is a really crappy position to be in. My wedding is still 3 months away so I'm trying to keep a tight grip of the finances and not let it run away from me. Thankfully I don't have the overbearing parents, who sound like a torture by the way! I'd say take the small loan from the credit union and pay it back as soon as the wedding is over at least this will give you the peace of mind that you have the money there to cover everything and you are not panicing about it coming closer. Hope things get better for you, just think in 4 weeks it will all be over and you'll have yourself a whole new husband......or wife (!)....or whatever and that will be all that will matter O:o)
CasualBride Posts: 574
Poor BuzzyBee!! :action32 I am married 6 months now and it really, genuinely is all a distant memory now - you won't believe how quickly you forget all about all this crap, but having read your post, I tried to think back to when I was a few weeks away from my wedding and I was in a pretty similar mindset to you. It can be bloody stressful at the time you're at now - it's lovely the week leading up to the wedding and it was grand all along cos it was still ages away, but when it gets to be a few weeks, it can be tough because everything is coming together and the money is just flying out the door. There's just no end to the spending. Honest to God, I'm not one for spending money frivolously,I really am not - I literally wore shoes and a veil that cost €10 and didn't so much as consider buying fancy wedding underwear, so please take it from someone who does not take expenditure lightly, but GET A LOAN!! It took SOOOO much pressure off me when I finally decided to apply for a loan about 3 months before my wedding. Up til that point I was just obsessing over everything "we" (my feckless husband) spent money on, and once I got approved for a loan, I knew I had that to fall back on if I needed it and it just took so much pressure off. I went back into the Credit Union 2 days after the wedding and paid it all back but it made such a difference to my frame of mind that I would recommend everyone to do it. Face it, we all know we're going to get money in gifts on the day, so we just need to have that cushion of cash between now and then, that's all you're doing. Get the goddam doughnuts, best idea ever!!! O-O
mich73 Posts: 75
Hi there buzzy bee. I felt the same before our big day. Do a list of what these extras are and get a impartial person or people to look at it especially maybe someone who's has had there big day. they will tell you if you need the extras. I will say though not to depend on wedding presents i.e. Cash presents. In my personal experience a lot of ppl give actual presents or vouchers. A little loan from the credit union if you can. You've gone so far now if you really want your doughnut tower get it if it's not exorbitantly expensive. Are you the first to get married in your family? This might explain why your parents are putting this expense on you. Maybe suggest they help out if they want all this extra. Keep calm and try and enjoy the build up. I think alot of ppl get the same nerves and worries. Best of luck x
BuzzyBee92 Posts: 142
Thanks for the responses It's just because I'm frustrated that I feel my parents are overbearing but they're not really. They're just trying to be helpful and highlighting things I have missed. I don't want to ask them for an extra cent because my H2B and I want to do it all ourselves, we designated each of our parents one thing they could contribute to so they could be involved. But I just screwed up the finances because I can't count....in addition I recently failed an exam (financial planning) and my dog's health has taken a drastic turn for the worse. I'm also not helped by new medication that's shook up my whole system, it's a bit more settled now as body has adjusted but seriously effected my mood and self esteem. I'll more than likely use the Credit Union Savings ( it's pretty much a rainy day fund) to cover the extra wedding expenses. Technically it's all mine until we get married ;) and I'm like a squirrel with saving so should be no problems Mich73, we are both the first to get married! I've had a few people tell me they'll be giving cash gifts and donuts are €2 each from rolling donut or offbeat donut premium range..... Casual Bride...funny you mention the underwear because i got a voucher, otherwise I'd just wear whatever, and they got lost in some warehouse in January. Found now, just got a call last night.
CasualBride Posts: 574
I understand, my mother was being helpful all year by giving me newspaper cuttings of everything she found about weddings, of course she meant well but it did my nut in because none of it was relevant to what I was doing (mine was the epitome of basic, obviously anything that is worthy of being in a newspaper is the total opposite!!) You have a lot going on but you'll be grand. I hope your poor old muttley is ok, that would break my heart. My sister got married in the UK last year and she had doughnuts and they were the bomb. We were all so full but we all kept going back up for more doughnuts cos they were sooooo nice. I'd have loved something like that too but we had too big of a crowd to do anything "extra" like that, I had to keep things fairly tight unfortunately. But you will be fine, I promise you, I know not every guest gives cash but the majority of couples will give you between €100 - €200, so I presume at this stage, you have a fair bit saved to pay the flowers / band / cars etc, so they're pretty much covered, so the gifts will cover the rest... and I know people think it's distasteful to even discuss this issue but I don't care, I'm anonymous on here :) and I'm telling you now that you will be fine (unless you're serving Moet and some rare truffles dipped in gold or something!!)
BuzzyBee92 Posts: 142
Dammit! I knew investing in all that Moet would come back to haunt me! :yelrotflmaosmilie: I don't think it's been distasteful to talk about the money...just depends who's asking and why. In fairness I've kept the budget fairly close to €15K and it won't go too far over (hopefully) And yeah my parents kept thinking my wedding style was traditional but really it's contemporary & minimalist. Hard one for them to get...hence now why I have more flowers than I actually want....I just wanted a sh*t tonne of Lanterns (free in my church) and then my bad-ass bouquet....and they almost impacted on the actual ceremony but I somehow managed to put my foot down on that. Money wise, most actually has to be paid in advance. Cash gifts will help cover honeymoon though... I won't post if anything sad happens to my dog, although I won't know anything until I get home....hoping he's still there although I was told to bye this morning before work just in case :'(
nervous&excited Posts: 150
Oh my god, doughnuts!! when did you have them? was it instead of a cake? I love a good doughnut! Id definitely get a loan, for the doughnut tower alone :o0 :o0
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