on a recent night out i bumped into a few people from work just in time to hear one girl mention my name and describe me as "SUCH a f***ing b***h" while another friend prodded her on the arm to shut up as i was standing alongside her!
i didn't confront her at the time, couldn't believe what i was hearing and i don't like confrontation. i mentioned it to a friend at work the next day as i was a bit upset about it. i have never spoken a bad word about this girl and have always been pleasant to her. i mean, the girl doesn't even know me too well!
my friend mentioned it to the girl who was b***hing that i had overheard her and that she should really talk to me about it (i didn't know this at the time).
Anyway, she didn't approach me and i'm finding it hard to bother even acknowledging this girl or give her the time of day knowing what she said and thinks of me. i don't like bad karma and this is bugging me. any advice?
She probably didnt approach you as she's embarrassed at being caught out. I'd ignore her - who needs friends like that? You might have to work with her but you dont have to like her.
Its not a nice thing to happen, but to be honest it happens everywhere. If she was your mate she'd prob be bitching about someone else to You! It is hard to hear though, been there.
I'ld confront her about it, just say I obviously overheard you say....can you please explain why you have that opinion of me. See what she says, she'll probably squirm and make up some crap, but it would teach her a lesson. It happens to eveyone from time to time, keep your head up and don't let it dent your confidence.
[quote="Delish":2q575a8m]I'ld confront her about it, just say I obviously overheard you say....can you please explain why you have that opinion of me. See what she says, she'll probably squirm and make up some crap, but it would teach her a lesson. It happens to eveyone from time to time, keep your head up and don't let it dent your confidence.[/quote:2q575a8m]
Agree...I find it's best to address these things than leave them to fester. And it might be awful at the time, but it's the only way to sort it out and clear the air. Don't be afraid to be assertive - you deserve a very big apology here. I know what it's like, it happened me once and I was just so upset. I didn't do anything about it, just let it go, but my confidance was really affected. Don't let her think she can just say stuff about you.
Oh I have been there. I was in the toilets in a bar one night and some of my work colleagues were in the cubicles – two of them had a right bitch about me without knowing I was outside. I told the woman next to me in the queue that they were actually talking about me and she was just horrified. I let them go on for a bit and then I said out loud “I am just here girls – I heard it all” they both nearly died.
To be honest we had all had a few drinks and what they were saying was more about the fact that I was not myself at the moment and was something bothering me etc, but it did sting and still does to an extent.
I know if I had not tackled it at the time it would have been something that would have festered and really gotten to me in the end.
I think you should just mention to her that you did hear her and that you hope if she has anything else to say about you that she might approach you with it.
Work colleagues do not have to be your friends – you do not choose them so it is understandable that you will not like everyone, and that they will not like you. Don’t let it upset you too much.
The one thing I will say is that whatever you do, don't lose the moral high ground that you're currently enjoying.
[quote="TokenMale":3mc9pthr]The one thing I will say is that whatever you do, don't lose the moral high ground that you're currently enjoying.[/quote:3mc9pthr]
I agree with Token male here, dont stoop to her level!!
It's a sad fact of life that people bitch and usually unfairly - and some people will bitch about you whether you've ever done anything to them or even if you have always been good to them. Personally I would ignore it, confrontations about this kind of thing make you look unprofessional, especially if it escalates. But I sympathize, it's a horrible feeling
Ca cest moi
[quote="Lady Godiva":1xdwyhp5]She probably didnt approach you as she's embarrassed at being caught out. I'd ignore her - who needs friends like that? You might have to work with her but you dont have to like her.[/quote:1xdwyhp5]
I agree with this advice totally, she was rude to talk about you but you don't have to like each other only work together. I wouldn't really want to be friends with anyone who talks badly about me behind my back anyway. If she had a problem with you then she should have said it to you. You seem like a much nicer person so rise above her. Sorry she hurt your feelings though.