Part of Bridesmaid Outfit

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Wenty Posts: 238
Right Wollies, I know I'm going to get lambasted for this post so here goes...... I've two bridesmaids, longtime friend who knows me inside and out (not really having much input into the wedding but she's a whole lot going on in her own life so I'm not stressing there - just being there for her when/if she needs something) and one other bridesmaid who I've known a few years and love her to bits...Now longtime friend bridesmaid is not really into fashion, is more of a hippy chick which I love, she's her own style and it suits her loads....other bridesmaid loves her fashion and is being so much help with the planning I don't know what I'd do without her.... Now I've bought the dresses for them, shoes, getting the hair and makeup and tan, jewellery, and bridesmaid hampers, accommodation and a spa day for the three of us.... Right - the slight dilemma is I got these shrugs (cost me an arm and a leg) but I LOOOOOOOVE :lvs them....loads....and having an important wedding coming up in February I know the one thing that would set off this dress would be this shrug...I know longtime friend bridesmaid will wear the shrug for the day and then it's at the back of the wardrobe whereas other bridesmaid would wear it again. Can I, I'm not sure if this is the done thing, ask, reaallllly nicely, if I could take it back after the wedding so I can wear it??? I know I'll probably be lambasted for this post - but just wondering... Thanks wollies x
Bellisima Posts: 3583
I seriously wouldn't be stressing I think it's totally fine to ask can you keep it, ye are long time friends afterall, can't see her taking offence!! You could if you feel uncomfortable ask her if you could "borrow" it, maybe she will offer it for keeps then?
Layla_D Posts: 80
Think you totally can! I dont think theres anything wrong with that at all. They're your best buds - course they wont mind!
Smileykaz Posts: 7296
Of course you can! A lot of people get their bridesmaid dresses back and then donate them to charity or sell them on afterwards. So there'd be no problem at all with the shrug! Just say 'I love those shrugs so much, actually they match a dress I bought for a wedding, so I'm going to get that back off you after my wedding to borrow!' They won't even bat an eyelid, seriously! Well, I wouldn't anyway! I'm probably going to be lambasted for THIS comment but: do people REALLY wear bridesmaid dresses/accessories after a wedding? I seriously doubt it. I know brides say things like 'oh we bought gorgeous cocktail dresses you could TOTALLY wear again' but when push comes to shove I doubt any bridesmaid ever wears her dress again! So I wouldn't worry about the shrug - chances are that while they're lovely and your bridesmaids are happy to wear them, they wouldn't want to wear them again themselves anyway!
Gembira Posts: 847
Of course you can! You've paid for the things after all!! As Mrs PR said, if you feel awkward about asking to keep it then ask if you can borrow it from her and if it's something she's unlikely to wear again she'll probably say for you to keep it anyway. I can't imagine there'd be any problem with that at all!
Wenty Posts: 238
Ahhhhhhhh phew - looooooooooooooooooveeee you guys!!!!!!! I was seriously stressing and ran through loads of potential ways to start a conversation with her.....I'm sure she'll be fine but I felt so bad about it, as I was telling them about them and they're gorgeous and you'll love them and blah blah blah, so then and "ehhhh givus it back when we're done!!!"..... Know where you're coming from Smilykaz, was a bridesmaid a few years ago and wore a looooooooovely blue dress AND blue shoes - I was like Elvis!!!! So heres me, 5'10", CBM was 4'11" and bride was 5'1"...she wanted to walk up the aisle first and I was walking behind her and the CBM - with my legs I overtook them about 5 times on our short trek down the aisle and to this day I've no idea where the dress or shoes are (probably in some Vegas show - or in Gok's wardrobe "what not to wear......ever!!!"..... Thank youuuuuuuuuu x
Bellisima Posts: 3583
Smileykaz totally agree, I reckon if they wear the shoes again your doing well! In fairness BM outfits are generally occasion wear, the likelyhood is unless you have a terribly active social life your not going to wear it again. Plus the association with the wedding I think discourages you from wearing it. Not in a bad way like but it becomes attached to a particular occasion and I think it's hard to shake the mindset and wear it for another event iykwim!???
mrsmcdreamy Posts: 880
i wouldnt see any problem at all with asking for them back. knowing me though id probably ask to borrow it. she'll probably say keep it. or if she didnt and you wanted to wear it again, id ask to borrow it again. sher what difference :) . i was bridesmaid last year and ill never ever wear the dress again or the shoes (uncomfy) or the jewellery (dont wear pearls). if the bride wanted them back, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest.
nearlytherenow Posts: 1072
i would soooo steal it back but i'm a >:o)
ciaraella Posts: 5323
+ 1 with the other girsl, no harm in asking for it back. Mrs PR's suggestion is good, ask to borrow it and she might just say sure you hang on to it. my bm's couldn't really wear their dress again, unless they were going to a ball or something very formal! i'd love to have a night next year though where we all wear our dresses again, although considering we're hoping to ttc after the wedding it may not fit! :-8