Please advise...

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Mumaholic Posts: 833
curliwurli Posts: 3369
i'm so so sorry you've been put in this situation and sorry that your little sis is obviously very scared about the whole thing. i don't really have any experience on this and don't want to just go on with my own opinions. I hope the two of you can sort something out that you are both happy with. bumping this up for you so maybe someone else will have something more constructive to say xxx :lvs
rock-n-roll-wife Posts: 6579
hun, you have to appreciate and respect that its her decision, its great you;ve gotten ehr to agree to talk to you properly but please dont go with the intention of trying to change her mind, go with the intention of listening to what she has to say and try to offer all sides and all options to her, at the end of the day, you may not agree with it, but it is HER body and HER life that this will affect more than anyone elses. you're her sister and need to stand by her when she needs you to, whether you agree with her actions or not. xx
meowwww Posts: 295
Its a trcky one and there is no right or wrong answer its her decision at the end of the day. A friend of mines son is after getting a girl prgnant and she is going to have an abortion next week, I think its frightening how easy and commom it is. But back to the point I think you need to go through the pros and cons of everything with her and try to see things from her point of view and visa versa. As far as I know someone sits down with you beforehand over there aswell to make sure you are 100% about the decision.
clucky Posts: 26471
what an awful situation for you to be put in she expects you to hide this from your h2b her boyfriend and all your family? She has left it a bit late too 20 weeks my word I cant help you because personally i am totally against abortion but it is grossly unfair for her to dump this all on you
survivor Posts: 2507
Its not your decision. And sense, as you put it, is obviously very different in her eyes. 21 is very young to have a baby. And I don't think anyone should have one if they absolutely don't want one. She must have thought about this a lot seeing as its taken her this long to arrange the abortion. I don't know if talking her out of it is the best thing. Could you not support her in this??? If you think she's mature to be a mother then by the same reasoning is she not mature enough to know she doesn't want a child. Just my opinion. I could never have had a child at that age, even though I have friends who did and they are superb mothers. But it was not for me.
Ca cest moi Posts: 7855
In relation to your sister I have to say it really is her decision. You can talk to her all you want but it should be left up to her to decide and I don't think that putting pressure on her either way is fair to be honest. I feel extremely sorry for you but it is not up to you to tell her to keep a baby she does not want (by the sounds of it). I really don't know how to react as I don't think it is something you can understand until you are in that position but at the end of the day the choice is hers. I do think it is bad that she has not told the father as he has a right to know but it is her choice. I really wish all of you the best in trying to sort out this whole situation.
Ginger Rogers Posts: 442
Don't know what to say really, but couldn't read and not reply. It is a very sensitive subject, therefore I think you should strongly advise her to tell her partner, and they should both go to a counsillor together, as she will most definitely have serious problems down the line. It sounds like she hasn't made a mature decision and jumped into it, so you should perhaps tell her partner or your parents, after all, it's not as if you're ratting her out for "stealing a bar of chocolate", this is a very serious, life altering decision and her partner, the father of the child has a right to know. HTH X
rock-n-roll-wife Posts: 6579
sorry after reading clucks post i meant to add that it is unfair of her to expect you to keep this a secret and she may well be too late at 20 weeks, but you should still, listen to what she has to say and offer advice. don;t simply force your opinion on her it will only make things harder for you if she decides to ignore it. take care hun, and i hope everything goes ok. xx
rock-n-roll-wife Posts: 6579
i DO NOT think that you shoudl tell her partner or your parents.. its not your place and would be a major breach of trust. x