Just wondering (apologies if this has been done before) on how involved your OH is with everything...
Mine is happy for me to make all the decisions, do all the work and just turn up on the day. Not in a lazy nasty way, but just because its really not him. If he had his way it there would be no one coming to the wedding and if they did it would be chipper food for dinner and a bit of Singstar for entertainment!
I ran everything by OH before booking anything. The only things he really wanted to be actively involved in was the choosing of the venue for the reception, menu choices, the suits for the guys and song choices for the DJ and our singer/musician (we opted not to have band). Apart from that he was happy to be my sounding board and let me off. He didn't mind about colours or flowers etc. The little details were of no consequence to him but if they mattered to me he would listen and we'd chat about them. Ultimately though he gave me a free enough reign. He never seemed disinterested though and would go any tasks I delegated. The BestMan was a credit too in the few days before the ceremony and the day itself (he lives in the UK so couldn't be too hands on or helpful before that).
Mine was much the same as Ellefun's. Very interested in venue, band, food, ceremony and music but didn't really mind if the flowergirl dresses were white or ivory, he left that to me.
Smaller details didn't bother him, though he was interested in hearing what I'd pick.
To be honest EeefC, planning a wedding is such a big thing to do, particularly as none of us are event planners, I wouldn't be letting him sit back and do none of the work. He may not be interested, but he's agreed to have the big day, so he needs to get off his arse, you know?
It's not fair that it's all left to you, that's not on.
It's his wedding as well, his family and his friends will be there, and he needs to make a much bigger effort. Wedding planning wasn't my husband's thing either, he is perfectly happy never to do it again as long as he lives, but he made the effort for our day because it was OUR day.
Sit down and talk to him and just say he's goign to have to start pulling his weight. You're either having a wedding or you're not.
I voted very.
I consult OH on everything - even down to things that are normally the girl's territory such as venue decor, colours etc.
He has lots of ideas and opinions so it wouldn't be for us if I just decided everything. In fact, he is annoyed at the way the wedding is regarded as the bride's and that the groom just shows up! We're even organising our wedding photographer to get some pics of him getting ready so that the album isn't all bride prep,bride prep - oh look, the groom at the church all ready to go! If you get me! Our wedding is def a team effort!!
I'm not sure why but about 3 weeks after I agreed all music with musicians (with his input) he decided to tell me my walking up the aisle song is terrible
While doing the pre-nup form he stumbled on the question "What date is your wedding"
Things will change. Well actually all is done now, but if anything else creeps up he can do it. I was with the doctor this week and told I have ibs caused by stress
I don't feel it, but it can obviously creep up on ya
My OH hasn't even seen the venue!
As were are going away I flew over to view everything but he couldn't come with me.
He is VERY involved AFTER the decisions have been made
Edited - duplicate post
Yeah its something thats been on my mind of late. Like you Nostress, my H2B hasn't seen our venue either. I took his mother and my mother to different venues to choose. Now he has been to the venue that I picked before so he knows what its like etc etc and his attitude at the mo is "if you're happy, I'm happy".
Now when it came to things like flowers & invitations etc I didn't really tell him about those things as I know he won't have an interest. But I do want to give him some jobs to do to make a point but at present, I have done them all myself.
I am in the middle of an invitations crisis as some of you may know and to be fair to him he has been great at that and knows whats going on. But when it comes to everything else he doesn't have a clue.
I suppose I don't know whether I am super organised and got everything done myself, or he sat back without me noticing and I [u:1s4ke27z]had[/u:1s4ke27z] to do them.
Oh I have just remembered, I did give him two jobs- book the car and the DJ. I ended up doing both.
My OH was kinda interested, I ran alot by him but he mostly just agreed with my choices. He had a couple of specific jobs though, organise the army guard of honour, choose table names and pick the wedding car.
I ended up doing the hard work on the table names after he picked them and a little bit around the car payment