Poll: How much to give as wedding present?

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littlesugarloaf Posts: 2000
Okay Wollies, need your help. Here's the background... Former colleague is getting married. We had been quite friendly but have drifted apart (not any particular reason, just one of those things - used to sit beside each other and now we don't. Work is really the only thing we have in common). She attended my wedding a year ago and gave a gift of a €200. It was incredibly generous and we were stunned tbh. It seemed a lot considering that whilst we were work friends we didn't socially outside of the office and only occasionally had lunch. But it was certainly very kind. She's getting married soon. She is having a very small, immediate family only wedding. She has given me an DH an invite to the afters but it is too far away and we won't be able to attend. So how much do I give as a present? Normally, if given an afters invitation, I'd pick something up from Newbridge or the Kilkenny Shop, probably spending about €25 or €30. But as she was so generous to us I think I should give more and, because she is moving out of Dublin to live with her DH, I think cash/cheque/is more convenient than an actual gift. Although could give her the €50 cheque and then something small from Newbridge/Kilkenny as a token (candle holder, photo frame, that kind of yokey). Is €100 too much to give when you only get an afters invite? Am I letting the generosity of her gift influence me too much? Even if we were invited to her whole wedding we couldn't afford to give much more than €100. But for the afters, is €50 too cheap after what she gave us? Am all befuddled so will let you wollies call it! Edited to add the €200 option based on first few comments. If that's the winner I'd better start busking :o0
SaraD08 Posts: 1795
[quote:n1nneaqq]She attended my wedding a year ago and gave a gift of a €200.[/quote:n1nneaqq] to be honest i would give the same gift as she gave you when she attended your wedding regardless if i was attending or not... so my vote is €200 :thnk
ohsotired Posts: 7071
[quote="SaraD08":mns3bp3h][quote:mns3bp3h]She attended my wedding a year ago and gave a gift of a €200.[/quote:mns3bp3h] to be honest i would give the same gift as she gave you when she attended your wedding regardless if i was attending or not... so my vote is €200 :thnk[/quote:mns3bp3h] I would do this also!
i want one Posts: 2893
of the options you gave i would give 100 euro. dont see the point of buying a token thing really to be honest.
littlesugarloaf Posts: 2000
Thanks for those responses so far - I edited the poll to put the €200 option in.
babydust2012 Posts: 4736
[quote="ohsotired":b4fohncv][quote="SaraD08":b4fohncv][quote:b4fohncv]She attended my wedding a year ago and gave a gift of a €200.[/quote:b4fohncv] to be honest i would give the same gift as she gave you when she attended your wedding regardless if i was attending or not... so my vote is €200 :thnk[/quote:b4fohncv] I would do this also![/quote:b4fohncv] +3 Something similar is going to happen us also next year only the opposite. We would normally give friends e200-250 for their weddings but out of all our friends for our wedding this year the best man gave us e150 (plenty I hear you say which it totally is) but I would be so embarrassed giving them e150 when we plan to give minimum e200!!! Wedding politics eh :yelrotflmaosmilie:
reine Posts: 1771
[quote="ohsotired":wbvcra7i][quote="SaraD08":wbvcra7i][quote:wbvcra7i]She attended my wedding a year ago and gave a gift of a €200.[/quote:wbvcra7i] to be honest i would give the same gift as she gave you when she attended your wedding regardless if i was attending or not... so my vote is €200 :thnk[/quote:wbvcra7i] I would do this also![/quote:wbvcra7i] I voted €100, but actually this is what I'd do. I'd give €200.
reine Posts: 1771
Edited my vote now.
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
1/ You’ve said that you can not afford to give her 200 2/ You are not attending the wedding at all and were only invited to the afters. Therefore I would give 100. TBH I never really expected gifts etc from people who came to my after (a card yes but not a gift) and if they were unable to attend at all then I certainly would not have expected anything.
AmandaMc Posts: 1813
I would NEVER have expected a wedding gift from someone not attending my wedding. It would be different if you got an invite to the full day. Now I understand they're having a small wedding which is their choice...200euro was generous but a standard enough gift when going to the full day. You got an invite to the evening- I wouldn't expect anything from someone coming to the evening tbh or at most something to the value of 50euro. We had a small wedding- we had given people generous gifts at their weddings but some of those couples we didn't invite to ours....we didn't get anything from them and wouldn't expect it. TBH I think 50-100 is loads