Pre-natal Depression - Update

I think I may have this. Since I have found out that I have lost one of the twins at the 12 week scan (the twin stopped growing at 9 weeks, but the other baby was fine), I started mourning the pregnancy and not the baby we lost. I felt like I exeperienced a complete loss and felt unable to concentrate or look forward to the rest of pregnancy. I have not been able to make myself post about pregnancy on the July thread (when I'm due) and very little in general and when I talk to people who do not yet know I am expecting, I can't bring myself to tell them. This has now become worse as I think/feel/believe not to be pregnant any more. I have an appt with hospital in 10 days time and thought I just wait it out as I am telling mysef that there is no point in rushing bad news. Part of me thinks I am being paranoid and part of me believes it is instinct. I actually have no pregnancy symptoms, very little apettite (strange/different than other PGs) and could not find a heartbeat with the dopppler. I know you will probably say go to the doctor tu put your mind at ease but I just can't face it or bring myself to do it, as I am convinced it will be bad news. With attending the appt in 10 days that is scheduled just would not make me feel like a paranoid loon. Thanks for listening.

Ah huh101. Couldn't read and not reply as you are so good at giving everybody else advice. I know it easy to say 'try not to worry', I dreaded all my early scans too in case I was going to get bad news. There is no reason why your little bean isn't perfectly healthy and just chilling and hiding from your doppler. Try to keep yourself busy. Would you not pop along to your doctor for peace of mind? Have you anything planned for Valentine's day?

my heart goes out to you and I don't think there's any right answer to your post. But after reading it I felt I had to reply. My gut instinct is to tell you to go to the doctors now, but I know this is easier said then done. If you can't go, then maybe there is a friend or family member you could talk to. But if it was one of your friends i'm sure you'd try and get them to a doctor. (and by the way I don't think anyone would think you're a paranoid loon!) Please talk to someone. I'll be thinking of you and your 2 babies.

hi hu101 I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way, but I do think you should go and see your gp - if your due in July he should be able to hear the babys heartbeat and that will give you some peace of mind. My gp was able to hear the fetal heartbeat at nearly 17wks but he did say if he didn't he wouldn't be that worried as it can be very faint at that stage. I don't have much symthoms myself, so don't worry about that, every pregnancy can be different. Its very understandable to feel the way you do, maybe talking to someone like your gp will help... Let us know how you get on. FinallyTTC

Thank you for your kind words. I failed to mention that going to GP also has a practical downside as I am looking after my two DDs and husband is working away, I have noone to leave them with so it would mean taking them with me which wouldn't really work out. For my hospital appt MIL is coming down to look after them and hopefully DH will go to hospital with me so I will not be alone. I hope and pray that it is all in my head, thank you for all your re-assurances, I will try to be positive and writting it all down and having a good cry definitely helped a little. I have just had such dark thoughts which even extended to assessing when I could TTC again and already imagining telling people about my loss..

hu101 - I am not sure really what to say to you but felt after reading your post that i had to say something. your symptoms may just be gone as you are in your second trimester, my went when i was 15 weeks and i have been fine since then. I think those dopplerss only work when you in a later stage of the pregnancy. that could be the case with you and everyone is different. if you could get to see your gp before your next hospital appt. you would feel better. Take care of yourself and i hope everything will be fine. i will say a prayer for you.

hu101 I understand that it's difficult to get the time to go to the doctor so even if you wait until your appointment in 10 days time, please make sure to explain to the doctor just how bad you're feeling. It's a really really tough time for you, you have to mourn the loss of one baby while trying to take good care of the other. As for the doppler, I bought one of those off ebay and I spent no less than 2 hours searching and searching for a heartbeat and couldn't find anything, it really did freak me out, it took a few tries before I finally heard anything. I found it worked best with oil - baby oil or bio oil. I have to say I really don't feel pregnant right now either, no bump, no real cravings, morning sickness has disappeared, the only clue that I'm pregnant is the tiredness and an aversion to dairy! Take it easy this weekend and try to take some time for yourself. I really hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for that. I keep telling these things to myself, but it is strange how much more convincing and re-assuring it is to hear the same stuff from other pregnant ladies. I truly appreciate it.

hu101 big hug for you I am also having pre-natal depression and it's v hard to admit as everyone expects you to be excited. I find I can't stop thinking about 1)my m/c on my first pregnancy b) how disappointed I was when I had a section and how frightened I am of the next birth and c) what a crap job I think I did with DS while I had postnatal depression - that is the worst. I keep thinking it will be the same this time even though I know I won't let it as I'll be going straight to the doc for my prozac and also deep down I know I can't have done too crap a job because DS is so happy now. Well, I know this is v. different to what you're going through but the resulting feeling is probably similar - a big feeling of dread, hopelessless and helplessness. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Also, I think what you're going through is no surprise. I mean you are mourning the loss of your little one right now while having to prepare for birth - I really can't imagine how hard that is. I cried every day for a year after my m/c and I didn't have pregnancy hormones! Take things slowly, go easy on yourself and yes please please please go to the doctor. Anything he might tell you couldn't be worse than the torture you're putting yourself through at the moment. If you ever need a chat, I'm here, feeling too

h thats terrible. my doc told me that if i get any sign of feeling down or anything to go straight back to see him and not to think i've to be strong and do it alone. get to your gp... bring your DD;'s if you have to. it's really important that you get yourslef checked out. don't struggle on feeling like this!