pre wedding blues

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superbrideym Posts: 19
Hi Wollys, I'm new to this. getting married on 10th Sept 2011. Considered myself very clam and organised till recently. Most things booked. Dress bought and all. It was all great fun at the start becomming less so tho. Baby sis got engaged last weekend. they've been going out with ever childhood sweethearts. Something about that has made me sad. I'm soo happy for her. Its just that me and my HOB just seem so much less of a perfect couple than them. I keep on thinking everyone thinks the same way. Its making me totally over sensitive. Cried at sister the last day. How selfish. It's her special time. I know this sounds like a rant but I can't think of anyone to talk to about this without sounding like I begrudge her. and I really don't.
Mrs Fahrenheit Posts: 1582
Ah, all couples are different. Some couples finish each other's sentences and never go anywhere without one another. I used to look at them and wonder if myself and OH should be like that! But, in reality we don't have the personality to be like that with anyone. Why did this just start upsetting you once they just got engaged?
Another Bride Posts: 2
Hi there I think what you're feeling is natural - so give yourself a break! In my experience pre-wedding blues are a normal thing- at least I hope so as I've experienced them too! I've wondered whats wrong with me, as I'm so looking forward to the wedding, enjoying all the planning (few panic moments aside!) etc. but I do think its just part of the process and I've calmed again. Having a younger sister myself, I can empathise with the feelings you have - I know you're genuinely happy for her, but her actions/life will always play a big part in yours and makes you question things. As other reply said, no two couples are the same and you need to stop thinking that others are somehow better or more 'perfect' than you. But in a way, her good news is maybe slightly taking over from "your" time, and thats bound to hurt a little. But deep breaths, allow yourself time and you'll get through this (brief) blue time :)
Jawl Posts: 8881
I found that my wedding planning came in waves! I might be at it every night for a week, then leave it a few more weeks, and pick it up again. Loving it one week, hating it the next :o0 Well I never hated it, but you know, just lost interest now and then. Look you and your H2b are obviously very much in love or you wouldn't be getting married. So don't compare yourself to any other couple. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? The grass isn't always greener! We knew this couple in the pub and on the outside they were very luvvy duvvy and seemed like the perfect couple. I remember one time when Mr. Jawl and I were arguing over something very mundane thinking 'I bet they don't argue like this'. About 2 months later they split up. She told me he was very controlling and pressured her about keeping a tidy house even though he was out of work and she was working full time. They've since got back together, but it made me realise that no couple is 100% perfect we all have our ups and downs. Your sister and her fiance are no better a couple than you and your h2b. Concentrate on your own relationship and wedding :)
AmandaMc Posts: 1813
Ah don't worry, wedding panning makes us all a little doolally (or over sensitive!) sometimes. As another poster said the grass is not always greener. Your just in a lull at the moment- you are your own couple and just as special as your sister and OH. You don't need to be a certain way. Just be yourselves and accept how you are as a couple....I'm the exact same jawl- find it's very up and down and some weekends I just switched off the laptop (no wedding researching), barred myself from any sort of wedding plans and wedding talk. And it helped!! So just take it easy and don't worry about how you are feeling :action32
Posts:
Hi there, Aw you poor thing. I think this happens to everybody. I went through a few weeks there recently when I felt "what is wrong with me, I'm getting married in a few months, I should be on top of the world", and I didn;t feel on top of the world. But it passed over again and now I feel a lot calmer about the whole thing. Maybe I will have another "blip" again closer to the wedding - and I'm sure I won't have any words of wisdom for anyone then :o0 Just try to hang in there. I'm sure the crying is mostly emotion and stress. You are happy for your sister too Take care and maybe take a day or 2 off from anything wedding related xx
Top Table Designs Posts: 22
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bridee2b Posts: 2534
superbrideym, it doesn't sound like you are trying to begrudge your sister in the slightest - in fact you sound like the generous kind when you yourself can realise that it was unfair of you to bawl at your sister in the first place! Firstly, I just want to give you a hug of sympathy :action32 Secondly, I want to let you know that you are not on your own here... When we got engaged I never thought for one minute that the planning would take over so completely and utterly, and overwhelmingly so! I don't know how many times I have wanted to tell the OH to go hop, and at times this whole process has nearly become as stressful as it was when we moved house. TBH I'm totally disappointed with how this wedding planning has turned out - I think I had an idealised version of it being all fluffy bunnies and pretty flowers, but honestly, when you take it back to the nitty-gritty details, it's all very business-like - trying to organise logistics, getting the best price, finding the better supplier etc. (Sorry for the rant, in case you haven't guessed superbrideym, I'm having a bad week!!) Try not to compare yourself to other couples - I know it's hard coz I'm probably the worst culprit - but instead try to remember why you and your OH ended up together, getting engaged, and soon-to-be-married... You are your own pair of people, who love each other for very different reasons in comparison to why your sister and her OH are probably together. Finally, I would highly recommend taking yourself away from the whole situation at some stage... Perhaps you could whisk the OH off for a few hours at some stage this weekend, and just talk about un-wedding-related stuff - like life!! All else failing, do what I did earlier today, have a good old sob to yourself - sometimes it can be sooo good to release all those pent-up emotions with a good old cry!! :action32 :action32 Hope you feel a bit more positive soon missus!! :action32 :action32
superbrideym Posts: 19
Thank you soo much to everyone. Sorry for being so late replying. Things are much better now. me and baby sis are enjoying our time being engaged together. trying on my wedding dress now. I love my OH. He's the best and perfect for me. why do I look at anyone else. Silly girl. Thanks for all your support. this is a great service. I'll be using it lots for the next while. Hope I can help someone like you've helped me. xx
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