Pregnant bridesmaid!

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2kidsmom Posts: 110
Hi all Text all my bridesmaids over weekend for their measurements as was going ordering my bridesmaids dresses online yesterday. Then I got a phone call from one of them saying that she was going to call over to me, when she came over she announced that she is 3 months pregnant so will be 7 months pregnant on my wedding day!! This is her second child, her first is 1 since xmas. What is driving me insane is that this was planned - I asked her to be my bridesmaid 14 months ago so she knew in plenty of time. She just said that she felt time was passing her by and she didn't want to wait till after July to start trying. I just think she should have waited till after xmas same as then she'd only be 4/5 months pregnant and not 7!!!!! Do ye think I'm being a bridezilla and what should I do, try and get a dress to fit her or reduce my numbers to 3??????
wishin&hoping Posts: 3666
If it was me I wouldn't have her as a BM. You have no idea how big her bump will be etc so it is going to be hard to buy a dress.
nextyear Posts: 62
I think it would be extremely selfish to be cross with one of your friends for being pregnant. If she's your friend you should be delighted for her, and did you really expect her to put her life on hold for the sake of whatever dress you want her to wear for one day? Dresses can be adjusted, it's no big deal.
littlechick Posts: 758
I think the girl was dead right not to put off having a baby to be your bridesmaid. It is 'driving you insane that this was planned' :eek :eek Being a bridesmaid is not that big a deal that someone would put off having a baby. Get the girl a dress that will fit or can be altered, job done!!
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
It depends on how close you are to this person and how badly you want them to be your BM. Are the dresses ordered yet? If yes, you can always just put one aside, maybe you are planning to selll them later or whatever. Most ranges do maternity dresses now and order it at least a couple of sizes bigger and hope that it fits. If not, you can enquire about the maternity dresses in your chosen range first and see what the story is. Has your BM said if she still wants to be BM? If she has been PG before, she will know how exhausting it is and realistically she won't be able to do an awful lot to help you out. How do you feel about her bowing out of the duties, especially helping with hen night etc.. You really need to speak to her, be honest with each other and go from there. Maybe your BM could do another job on the day instead? My BM announced she was PG but had the baby about 3 months before the wedding. This meant we had to order her dress before she had any weight on, guess the size and hope it fitted once baby was born. As it turned out, the dress barely fitted and it was a lot of stress getting it altered a couple of weeks before. But at the end of the day, I wanted nobody else in those pics except my friend as BM, I wasn't going to ask her to step down even though I gave her every opportunity if that's what she wanted and if she had stepped down, she would have felt she was letting me down. Even though it was a [b:1untofln]nightmare[/b:1untofln] at the time, I wasn't going to lose a friendship for it. Lastly, when you are married and if you plan TTC, you will learn it's not as easy as pick a date and I will get PG :o0 Hope you find something that's agreeable to both of you :wv (edited to add I look at her beautiful little son now and laugh that he was the one who caused all the trouble, seriously, be happy for your BM).
feb08bride Posts: 656
Just be happy for your friend who is hvaing a baby, i have alwyas felt that a problem which involves another addition to the family or a friends family isn't a problem at all. a wedding day (as importnant and all as it is) is just one day, your friend and her baby are for life. Obviously the time is right for them now so just be happy for her, . Talk to her about being bm, she may feel uncomforatble herself about being a bm now as she will be 7 months or so pg. if you are both happy to proceed as planned, then talk to your dressmaker/shop as i'm sure this is somehting that crops up more times then we could imagine. Your friend has probably being trying to find the right time to tell you this all along but at least now its out in the open and ye can deal with it. Best of luck
newyear09wife Posts: 899
I can understand that to you this annoying but really and truly you cant expect people to put off their lifeplans for you r wedding... not something as important as having a baby... yes it means alot to you but to even the best BM in the world it is "just one day" ok so maybe she should have mentioned sooner that they were going to try for a baby but really there is no way that she "should have " waited til it suited you to try.... what if it took ages for them to get pregnant and they could still be trying while you've been married a year... no one knows how long these things will take and maybe he thought it wouldnt happen so quickly... chin up and try and be happy for her... plus lots of dresses can be got i maternity styles or altered to suit a pregnant bm...
hollywoodbride Posts: 1341
O MY God you can not be serious . She is your best friend if she want to be pergant you should be happy for her. so many women out there are trying so hard to get pergant and now you except her to wait until after your wedding. O:| or a time that suits you for your pictures.......
vivaladiva Posts: 864
Have to say I can relate to all this big time!! This time last yr my best mate, my bridesmaid informed me she was pregnant n was 2 mths gone n me I was getting married in Sept! Thought my world was ended, was furious to say the least, wanted to tell her to step down etc etc etc. What I did in the end when id thought about it, I asked her to decide what to do! Its her that’ll be uncomfy etc on the day. In the end she decided to step down! Although she really wanted to do it and was a gem to me on the day still. I think I handled it the right way in the end! On sayin that there are dresses that you can get to suit a bump perfectly! So don’t rule that out! But please think of her feelings too…..its not a fault her bein preg, it’s a blessin!!!!!!! Don’t hold it against her!
babydoc Posts: 313
Bridezilla, and then some! If you really want this girl to be your bridesmaid it shouldn,t matter if she is 7months pregnant, size zero or size 26. You either want her there or you dont. it is very selfish to be "furious" (as another poster in the same situation put it), because someone didnt put their life on hold for your wedding. Planning a baby is a private and personal thing between a couple. All to often on this site, it seems to be all about the bride and her "perfect wedding", and less about what really matters, like the man you love enough to marry, and the family and friends who are genuinely happy for you, - the rest is just window dressing. Sorry about the rant, its not personal, but posts like this really make me mad.