Pregnant

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Lenni Posts: 133
Hi All, Well I have 4 weeks till the big day and just found out that I am pregnant. Not taking the news too well to be honest. We already have 2 children that I love and adore and really wanted one more but never thought it would happen as financially tings arent great. we get by, but struggle from one month to the next u no. It has been getting me down the past few months thinking that we want another baby but prob wont have one due to money, but now that i am pregnant Im just so upset. I feel soooooo guilty for being upset, and am trying to figure out exactly y I am feeling like this. im worried bout money, how will we affored to have another child minded, its hard enough as we both work full time and I dont get to c my kiddies enough as it is, and then Im feeling so selfish cause Im thinking, I dont wanna be pregnant on my wedding day, wat if my dress dont fit me, wat if im sick on the day... I no its early days as we only confirmed it last night but Im just not coping. Its 4 weeks till the wedding and Im not even thinking or looking forward to it now. Im 30 years of age, in a good relationship, 2 children, a house, getting married to a good man and yet im worried bout tellin my mam cause I no she will be thinking you e1jet, ur getting married. Sorry for babbling on, just hoping that by telling someone (being you all) that I might feel better. If you think Im an idiot pls dont tell me (I will cry at my desk :weep).
ninja next Posts: 1548
Couldnt read and not reply lennie. Your obviously still in shock & hoepfully a bit of time is all you need. Dont worry about fitting into your dress you only be 8 weeks so there will be no bump. Re your worries about cost of 3 kids Im sure ye will cope and as you said you did want another baby so thats good but the timings jsut off. Are the kids in creche? maybe a childminder would be more economical with 3? There's plenty of mums of 3 on here who can give you better practical advice than me though! Please try not to worry too much & enjoy the run up to the wedding, it's such a special time.
Lenni Posts: 133
Hi next, Thanks so much 4 d reply. I had a good cry wit my sister today n felt a lot better after it. I think ur right, I'm still in shock, we both r. As u said it's d timing. D reding is in 23 days, so wen d kids r in bed 2nite we r gonna go tru wedding bits, get stuck in2 it so I can get focused again n excited. I think I feel so bad because I no this will b our last n I would hav loved it 2 b an exciting time doin a pregnancy test u no, n cause I was so upset I just feel so guilty. Thanks again 4 ur words X
babydust2012 Posts: 4736
I couldn't read and not reply. As someone who is trying to get pregant I can't help but feel a bit annoyed by your attitude but I am pushing that aside because I truely believe you are in shock. Please don't be worried about not fitting into your dress, most women don't announce a pregnancy until at least 12 weeks anyway so its likely you wont have any bump. If you are worried about what people or your mother might think, don't feel you have to tell them until after the wedding? This is a very special gift you've been given and you shouldn't feel like an eegit about it as its something you've both wanted. Granted in the future but its happening now. I think a child minder would be more economical in the long run for you if the kiddies are in creche? Chin up and enjoy the next few weeks of planning
Mrs Fahrenheit Posts: 1582
for god's sake fisherman's bride. Just because your actively trying to get pregnant doesn't mean that anyone who has an unplanned pregnancy should be jumping around with joy. don't feel guilty Lenni, sure it was just the fright of discovering the pregancy just 4 weeks before the wedding! It's highly unlikely you be showing at all. And as for feeling like an eejit.. sure nobody would blink an eye. Your in a commited relationship with 2 children already.
Mari yay Posts: 4045
I also think that statement is a bit out of line fishermans bride. Becoming pregnant is an extremely emotional thing, even when its planned, it is a massive change in your life. Lenni, I really think that its a combination of shock and a bit of wedding stress, even if you think you may not have been stressed. I hope you can take a couple of days to let it sink in, and wish you all the best for your wedding, and with the pregnancy x
frankenbride Posts: 419
Firstly Congratulations on your news. I know it is ill timed but I'm sure once the wedding is over you will be delighted to have your new bundle to look forward to. I spoke to my OH about children before we got married and I said I'd love one once the wedding is over but I threatened to kill him if I got pregnant before the wedding so you are far from an eejit for feeling upset about the timing. I think most people fear not being able to afford another child but again once you have him/her I'm sure you'll adjust like you did when you went from one child to two. I'm sure little bubba won't mind a glass of champagne on the day and to be honest I didn't actually get to drink to much on my wedding (even though not pregnant) as spent most of the night just dancing and mingling with my mates. I also think this might ad something to your wedding as you and your husband to be will be one of a select few to know your little secret and bring ye even closer. Congrats again and enjoy your wedding :) :) :)
reine Posts: 1771
[quote="fishermansbride":1438ro30]I couldn't read and not reply. As someone who is trying to get pregant I can't help but feel a bit annoyed by your attitude but I am pushing that aside because I truely believe you are in shock. Please don't be worried about not fitting into your dress, most women don't announce a pregnancy until at least 12 weeks anyway so its likely you wont have any bump. If you are worried about what people or your mother might think, don't feel you have to tell them until after the wedding? This is a very special gift you've been given and you shouldn't feel like an eegit about it as its something you've both wanted. Granted in the future but its happening now. I think a child minder would be more economical in the long run for you if the kiddies are in creche? Chin up and enjoy the next few weeks of planning[/quote:1438ro30] Good god, who do you think you are?! I am also ttc, have been for 2 years in fact, but my story has absolutely NOTHING to do with the OP's. There's no need to be so rude. Not everyone gets excited by a pregnancy and there is no hard and fast rule out there dictating that we should! OP, best of luck with the next few weeks planning the wedding and I hope you start to feel better about things soon.
StellaBella Posts: 432
I don't want this to sound harsh, but ur wedding is only 4 weeks away, not 4 months.. ur dress will fit fine... I think u just need to take a deep breath and chill out. I think it is just hormones and wedding stress, which is making u freak out a bit. From reading ur post i can't understand why u are so upset, u say that you plan on having a baby in ur future, u are both in full time employment , u have a house, good relationship etc .. and one of the reasons you are upset is because u are pregnant on ur wedding day!!! I think once the wedding is over you will look back and realise you upset urself for a very silly reason. If everyone waited until they had the perfect financial situation to have a baby, i'd say the population would be halved. I found out i was pregnant exactly 9 months from my wedding date, which involved cancelling our entire wedding and honeymoon, and in all honesty i was upset for about 10 mins over it. Because a wedding is one day, that will be a distant memory in years to come, but ur child will be in ur life forever. By the way I don't know why u are all gunning for Fishermans Bride, she said in the very first line that she was putting her feelings aside.. she didn't have a go at the OP by any means.
reine Posts: 1771
We are "gunning" for her, as you put it, because we don't understand what her ttc has to do with lenni's dilemma. She said she was putting her feelings to one side, but there was no need to say it in the first place. Lenni was obviously distraught and didn't need to be judged for how she was feeling. What she said smacked of begrudgery - not very nice! You are not her and obviously dealt with your pregnancy in a different way. That doesn't mean that what Lenni feels is wrong, far from it. She has very viable worries and I sincerely do not feel it is any one else's business to judge.